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Objectively subjective
Not to unearth an old thread, but I just found this and thought the volley of conversation interesting, especially how some people fit me into the mix. I appreciate the respect shown toward me here. That means a lot to me and is important, not just to me, but to the greater picture.
Yes, I grew up a bit differently than most. I would not say, as some have, that I was ever a "man" because I surely was not. I was male, which is different. Anyone can be a "man", even some women are very much like men. I did a great job acting like one, but then, that's not terribly hard when the costume is so well done. The fact of the matter is, during every single waking moment of my life in which I was learning to play, which was mostly pre-transition, I was struggling with my issues on a very core level. Even on stage in the early 90's I was struggling with that. I think I may have had a harder time learning many things because of the impact that had on me. I say this because ever since I transitioned I have been mentally unencumbered and my mind seems to absorb things far better without that distraction.
Having lived on both sides of the gender line, and spent so much of my time in the music world, specifically hard rock/heavy metal scenes, I have found an incredible difference in the way I am treated, not so much because of my playing (which has hardly changed) but because of my gender. The main difference I noticed comes from males. For example, before transition when I would go into a Guitar Center and look at guitars guys spoke to me on what I can only describe as an even playing field. They didn't act like they knew more than me or like I knew more than them. The vocal exchanges about guitars and music were essentially even-keeled. When I would play guitar people didn't act impressed. Granted, I'm no Yngwie or Eddie, but I can do a fair bit of shredding.
Now things are completely different. I have walked into Guitar Center and been asked, "So are you looking for something for your husband or boyfriend?" Which is indicative of the fact that (some) men in the business don't even see women as even possibly being interested in (or capable of?) playing guitar. Often, I'm completely ignored, until I pick up a guitar and start playing. I've been patronized by music store salesmen and spoken to as if I am a child who doesn't know how to hold a guitar without dropping it on the floor. That kind of treatment pretty much makes me laugh, but I find it deeply disappointing. In response to the guy who asked me the question above, I said, "Dude, I can't believe you just asked me that!" and he turned red and walked away. He came back and apologized, but only after I grabbed a guitar and plugged it in and he heard me play. This is sadly typical of most music stores I walk into, and I find that I don't even want to go into them anymore because of the sublime way I get treated. I wonder how many other girls/females/women get disenchanted with music for the same reasons.
My playing hasn't changed a whole lot since prior to my transition, but I find it very funny how people react to it. Now I get comments from guys after shows like, "Hey, I don't mean this to sound bad, but for a girl you're really good." Funny, was I "really good" for a guy? I don't play guitar to impress people. Never have. Like my style or don't. My purpose in playing is to feel the crunch of pure metal shake me to the bone, work up a sweat, thrash around, and have a damn good time... for myself mostly. If others get off on it too, then so much the better!
I never could understand the need to impress people with guitar shredding. I have always played as a release of emotion and frustration, and because I love music. I think that's probably true for most women who play, and most men seem so bound to impressing others with their abilities to sweep, or speed pick, or play the most notes in two seconds, or to do whatever. It's all about competition. And there, I think, is the key to the male/female, man/woman guitar player issue...
My conclusion is this: Men can't see female guitar players in an equal light because they know (consciously or not) that women are non-competitive. Generally speaking, women do not play guitar because we want to impress others, we play for different reasons. Men generally play guitar to impress others - guys because of the instinctual male competitive nature, and girls because of their "I want to impress her so she'll sleep with me" nature.
This is just my observation and objectively subjective opinion. Rock on!
Not to unearth an old thread, but I just found this and thought the volley of conversation interesting, especially how some people fit me into the mix. I appreciate the respect shown toward me here. That means a lot to me and is important, not just to me, but to the greater picture.
Yes, I grew up a bit differently than most. I would not say, as some have, that I was ever a "man" because I surely was not. I was male, which is different. Anyone can be a "man", even some women are very much like men. I did a great job acting like one, but then, that's not terribly hard when the costume is so well done. The fact of the matter is, during every single waking moment of my life in which I was learning to play, which was mostly pre-transition, I was struggling with my issues on a very core level. Even on stage in the early 90's I was struggling with that. I think I may have had a harder time learning many things because of the impact that had on me. I say this because ever since I transitioned I have been mentally unencumbered and my mind seems to absorb things far better without that distraction.
Having lived on both sides of the gender line, and spent so much of my time in the music world, specifically hard rock/heavy metal scenes, I have found an incredible difference in the way I am treated, not so much because of my playing (which has hardly changed) but because of my gender. The main difference I noticed comes from males. For example, before transition when I would go into a Guitar Center and look at guitars guys spoke to me on what I can only describe as an even playing field. They didn't act like they knew more than me or like I knew more than them. The vocal exchanges about guitars and music were essentially even-keeled. When I would play guitar people didn't act impressed. Granted, I'm no Yngwie or Eddie, but I can do a fair bit of shredding.
Now things are completely different. I have walked into Guitar Center and been asked, "So are you looking for something for your husband or boyfriend?" Which is indicative of the fact that (some) men in the business don't even see women as even possibly being interested in (or capable of?) playing guitar. Often, I'm completely ignored, until I pick up a guitar and start playing. I've been patronized by music store salesmen and spoken to as if I am a child who doesn't know how to hold a guitar without dropping it on the floor. That kind of treatment pretty much makes me laugh, but I find it deeply disappointing. In response to the guy who asked me the question above, I said, "Dude, I can't believe you just asked me that!" and he turned red and walked away. He came back and apologized, but only after I grabbed a guitar and plugged it in and he heard me play. This is sadly typical of most music stores I walk into, and I find that I don't even want to go into them anymore because of the sublime way I get treated. I wonder how many other girls/females/women get disenchanted with music for the same reasons.
My playing hasn't changed a whole lot since prior to my transition, but I find it very funny how people react to it. Now I get comments from guys after shows like, "Hey, I don't mean this to sound bad, but for a girl you're really good." Funny, was I "really good" for a guy? I don't play guitar to impress people. Never have. Like my style or don't. My purpose in playing is to feel the crunch of pure metal shake me to the bone, work up a sweat, thrash around, and have a damn good time... for myself mostly. If others get off on it too, then so much the better!
I never could understand the need to impress people with guitar shredding. I have always played as a release of emotion and frustration, and because I love music. I think that's probably true for most women who play, and most men seem so bound to impressing others with their abilities to sweep, or speed pick, or play the most notes in two seconds, or to do whatever. It's all about competition. And there, I think, is the key to the male/female, man/woman guitar player issue...
My conclusion is this: Men can't see female guitar players in an equal light because they know (consciously or not) that women are non-competitive. Generally speaking, women do not play guitar because we want to impress others, we play for different reasons. Men generally play guitar to impress others - guys because of the instinctual male competitive nature, and girls because of their "I want to impress her so she'll sleep with me" nature.
This is just my observation and objectively subjective opinion. Rock on!
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