How to introduce a new family member

[lerxstcat]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Tell her it was $200 cheaper than the mail-order bride, who already promised NOT to biotch about your guitar buys! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

If that doesn't work, tell her it was $300 cheaper than the local crackheads'
rate for a hit job! [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[mm2002]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

No no no....what you do is put one of your old guitars in the gigbag, hide it in the attic for a few weeks and tell her you traded it for the new one. When you drag out the old one a few weeks later she'll recognize it and won't think of it as being anything new. You really need more than 10 guitars for this trick to work though because they're pretty good at counting up to ten! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Ace]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Tell her you stole it!

[shreddermon]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Originally posted by TEKKY:
Oral sex works both ways man...

[img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I don't think a 69 will help here. [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Dana]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Just tell her the truth. If she can't handle the truth you don't need a new guitar you need a new women. Grow some balls and find a new one. JMO Dana

[scaz]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Whatever you do, do NOT start the "tit for tat" crap! You will regret that no doubt!

[PowerTube]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

It's pretty simple, really. Just follow these instructions:

1. Come home late with the guitar, like 1-2:00 A.M.

2. Roar into the driveway. Flash the lights, rev the engine, honk the horn.

3. Pretend to be drunk (Optional: Be drunk).

4. Slam the front door, loudly singing "Sister Christian."

5. Dive into bed from 6 feet away, slap her on the ass and say, "How about a little action, Gorgeous??!!"

6. She'll pretend to be asleep and the guitar will no longer be an issue.

[img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[mm2002]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Originally posted by TEKKY:
You gotta be kidding me? I always say... When in doubt, a 69 is what it's all about!!! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Tekky, I'll tell you the one thing better than a 69....a 77! (you get 8 more!) [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[xenophobe]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Originally posted by Newc:
Go buy her something nice (a ring, bracelet, necklace, etc - the real stuff not that sparkly pubic zirconia dogsh!t) from a local pawn shop before the guitar comes in and keep it hidden til then, and when she starts with the crap about the guitar, show her the trinket and say "Oh well, I guess this one goes back, too". If she doesn't budge, piss on her; take the trinket back and keep the guitar. Then tell her the bills are paid, there's food on the table, and Junior's quite a few years from College [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] That's great. [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[DK127]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

I agree with Newc. Buy her something nice then go from there. You can't go wrong. Good luck!

[pro-fusion]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Just point out what an incredible bargain a Model 2 is compared to, say, its American strathead Charvel cousin.

[ October 16, 2003, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: pro-fusion ]

[Matt Crooks]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Grow some balls, man. Tell her you bought a new guitar. If she asks how much it cost, tell her. It's not like you're living on food stamps and are sleeping in the streets, right?

[SARJ]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

I have come close to mastering this.

I have a box of old pickups, rings, pots, etc. When the new axe gets home she starts to complain. "How can you go out and buy a new guitar when the car needs new tires" or something to that effect. "I traded a guy on the Jackson Charvel Forum 3 rare humbucking pickups for this". "It didn't cost me a dime".

I also used the fact that Musician's Friend owed me $400 and that I have the option to trade in the guitars if I don't like em.

Buying her something and then at the same time buying yourself a new guitar can work, but it totaly backfired on me.

[RR_1525]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Man, if I hang out here too long Ill be divorced.
[img]graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img]
that might not be so bad either.

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: How to introduce a new family member

Man.....you guys are a riot....fortunately my wife is super cool....she tells me to buy guitars if I want them.....or goes behind my back and buys them if I say I really don't want it..........

I dunno what to tell ya bro...... [img]graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img]

But, Mrs LPC gets pretty much whatever she wants also..so it is definately a 2 way street....

And to agree with Da Man, Tekky, a lil 69 goes a long way [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]