DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

[Robotechnology]

Click the hyperlink to the JP forum--it's regarding a Jackson Polka Dot RR

Funniest Jackson RR guitar review ever!

[charveljunkie]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

man that was great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
about passed out laughing so hard
man that made my day [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[wulfe13]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Sounds as if he might be poking fun at metal... [img]graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img] Oh well, that wasted about 5 minutes.

[DJROBA]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

That guy is halarious!! to bad he doesn't know how to play [img]graemlins/baby.gif[/img]

[metafaza]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Thank God he doesn't post on JCF. Vivid imagination, though.

[Riddick]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

That's classic. The guy's got a great sense of humour.

[eddyrox]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

actually quite well written, with minimal spelling errors or misplaced modifiers. leads me to conclude that this guy's the REAL deal [img]graemlins/bs.gif[/img] regardless, very F*CKING funny [img]images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]

[Newc]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Vivid imagination indeed, to think that Seventh Son was better than Powerslave [img]graemlins/brow.gif[/img]

This guy knows as much about Metal as a pig knows about the Lord's plan for Salvation [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Newc

[Junior]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Good read! Thought it was pretty funny.

[mulder1966]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

[img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/toast.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/band.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Brad]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

He knows a G Powerchord.... [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Firebird V]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

[img]graemlins/headbang.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/toast.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[skarhead]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Price Paid: US $349
Purchased from: N/A
Guitar Center

Features: 5
For information on all this stuff, check out the Fender website. It's a Stratocaster style body with a, uhm, I believe "Seymour Duncan Invader" pickup in it -- i'm not sure really what that is all about. Tom's guitars never had anything like THAT in them...hmm...on with the review!
When I saw this guitar in a local guitar shop, my jaw DROPPED. A Tom DeLonge (aka "Tom Rollin' Thunder" DeLonge) signature guitar -- at last!! I used to see Tom play every Wednesday night at the Fickle Pickle club in Chicago for the past 20 years (well until 1998 when he passed away). He's always been a huge influence on me, as well as COUNTLESS other guitarists (do the names Buddy Guy and Muddy Waters ring a bell? I think he even showed Rev. Gary Davis a thing or too). What surprised me the most, was that even though Tom never had a record deal (and refused to sign a record deal, because he thought it compromised his authenticity as a BLUES man), he now has a Fender signature Strat.
Is his family cashing in on his name, or what? Did some Fender rep see him during one of his last shows (he died shortly before his 87th birthday), and was inspired... much like myself? I don't know! All I know is that when I saw that *the* Tom DeLonge had a signature guitar, I had to buy one. Buy it I did, but then things soon went downhill...

Sound: 1
Well, like the late Tom "Rollin' Thunder" DeLonge, i'm a self proclaimed bluesman. Been playing the blues for over 30 years. I have a couple teenagers now, and a wife, and all that stuff... but the blues still runs through my soul. I've been searching for a nice affordable guitar to fit my needs, but didn't find one suitable until this Strat came into my life. The last real "nice" guitar I had was a 1965 Fender Jazzmaster. I played it in my first band "The Surfing Wombats" (don't ask, everyone went through a surf phase back then! Even YOUR parents probably...). So it's been awhile since i've had something of comparable quality.
Ok, anyway...
My first complaint is THIS: why is this guitar a Strat? Tom DeLonge NEVER played a Strat! He always used "Miss Bessie", his trusty Gibson ES-135. I think he named Miss Bessie after a woman he had an affair with in the 50's... I think she stabbed him in the eye with a pencil when she found out he was cheating on her (that's the legend behind Tom's eyepatch anyhow!).
I saw Mr. Rollin' Thunder about 200 times, and never saw him play anything but an ES-135. Well, in 1975 he played a Les Paul... but who didn't? Everyone wanted to be like Michael Bloomfield that year it seems.
So that's my major gripe. But I tried to overlook it.
The sound of this guitar blew me away... but not in the way I hoped for. Tom always had a smooth and thick tone. Never too over the top, and never too sharp. He didn't use overdrive or "those damn Japanese #$%#box pedal thingies", as he'd say. It was clear tone... and when he hit those high notes -- it'd make your soul squirm. Phew!
But this Strat... I can't figure it out. I'd like to dial in the tone, but I can't!! There's no tone control!! Just a volume knob.
What the hell is this "Invader" pickup?? I know i'm not exactly the hippest dude around, but are companies naming their pickups after World War 2 bombers (my father flew an A-26, by the way) now?? What's next? The Seymour Duncan "Mitchell"?? Hell...
This pickup really sounded like crap. What is Fender trying to do?? I couldn't nail Tom's sound no matter how hard I tried. My son walked into the room, and instantly had this look on his face. I knew it was bad (he obviously heard the racket from the other room), so I told him to leave me alone for a bit with my new guitar.
The more I tried, the less I liked. Tom's tone was not to be found. Instead of a smooth balanced sound, I sounded like the guitarist for The Van Halen's! With disgust, I threw the guitar back in the box it came in. Oh! That's another thing: cases aren't included anymore?? I'm writing a letter to Fender as soon as I finish this review.

Action, Fit, & Finish: 5
Well I bought the guitar from Guitar Center. I think it had 9 gauge strings on it... roundwounds, nonetheless. I quickly swapped them out for Thomas Inkenfield 11 flatwounds. The neck started bowing, so I had to switch back to 9's. I just couldn't get comfortable with this thing.
Another thing...
Miss Bessie was a weather, checkered, worn shade of black. This thing is SURF GREEN! Why? I mean, if you're not going to get the same BRAND AND MODEL guitar, you might as well match the color... right? Wrong! I bet Tom DeLonge is rolling in his grave right now.
As previously mentioned, I got frustrated with the guitar and put it back in it's case. Well, my buddies from work and I have a blues band (we're called "The Chicago Hot Smokin' White Bluesmen", come check us out!!)... we gig on the weekends. That night we had a show to do, in front of a crowd of 200 or so. Well, I thought i'd give this guitar another try...
After our second song, we decided to play an original number... one that we wrote to celebrate the life of Tom DeLonge. It's a tune that I wrote called "Lost My Eye In Georgia". To show tribute to Mr. Rollin' Thunder, I reached into the box and pulled out my new Tom DeLonge signature Strat.
The look on the crowd was priceless... the look on my band's face was unforgettable. And that was BEFORE I even hit a note. I looked around, the place went silent... I could feel the spotlight burning my skin. I put the guitar back in it's case and let out a nervous laugh... my "HA HA"'s echoed... I picked up my trusty Epiphone Dot, and we went into the song. No one even had any comments or questions after the gig about my new guitar... everyone just LEFT. I tried to stop Gary at the door, but he said "Hey, i'm tired, see you at work tomorrow".
I never got a chance to use the guitar in a live situation, which is what I regard as the ultimate test.

Reliability/Durability: 5
I'm not sure about the reliability of this instrument. The neck bowed when I put some real man's strings on it, but that's the only problem I had. The "Invader" pickup seemed to work fine, even though it sounded like crap (I imagine the sound from this guitar is similar to the sound of bombs being dropped on Berlin).
I took the guitar back the next day. I told the salesman what a travesty the instrument is, and how Tom DeLonge would sue Fender if he was still around (although he'd probably lose the case on purpose so he would have more blues material for a few new songs). The salesman had no idea what I was talking about and gave me some blank stare. By this point, I was fuming. I grabbed him by the shoulder and we went into the sound room and I DEMONSTRATED how awful this guitar sound. He told me that what I was hearing is exactly what fans of Tom DeLonge like... oh boy... that idiot of a salesman got a lesson on the late "Rollin' Thunder" as well as a list of DeLonge's contributions to Chicago blues.

Customer Support: 5
We'll see what they say when they get my letter of disapproval. I'm also going to E-mail them the URL of this review!!

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">this was considered one of the funniest reviews on harmony-central on their forum ( sorry for long text)

[WarEnsemble]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

I first read that Rip Glitter review about two year ago and cracked up for a good couple minutes. Check out his other reviews on the Peavey 5150 and DOD Thrashmaster pedal. They are totally classic.

[Number Of The Priest]

Re: DUDES! You HAVE to read this!!

Originally posted by Newc:
Vivid imagination indeed, to think that Seventh Son was better than Powerslave [img]graemlins/brow.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I think "Seventh Son" is better than "Powerslave". But alas, I did not write that review. [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif[/img]