Sneaking stuff by the wife

[Spaceace]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Well I am in the fortunate minority, I not only have a lovely woman who lets me have nice new guitars ....but she has bought me several. Including a new RR1T that I am waiting to arrive [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] .She is the greatest

[shreddermon]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

I agree with Kev. Sneaking should not be required, nor even advisable. As long as you're being reasonable to your personal financial situation, this should not be a big deal with the wife. An occassional reciprocation is advisable, however. That's only fair.

One more reason I consider myself a lucky man. [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Originally posted by Newc:
I agree with the logical approach - if the bills are paid and all that, ask her where the problem is. "Why do you need so many guitars?" "Oh I don't know, why do you need more than one pair of shoes?"

Newc

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you use that approach....then your faced with the answer....I have more than one pair of shoes so that I match completely. The next question is gonna be....do you need a guitar to match each of your outfits?? Think about that question a bit before you answer...if you say "yes" right off the bat...I can see you guest hosting "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

Mrs LPC

[nonamemx]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

You sorely need to establish the commander of the household.


a.k.a., YOU.

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Originally posted by nonamemx:
You sorely need to establish the commander of the household.


a.k.a., YOU.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Take this for what it is worth, but with that philosophy of your "kingdom" and "commandership" you are going to probably die a very lonely, sexually frustrated man.

Any relationship can't exist as a dictatorship for very long. Both parties have to be open, honest, respect for each other, and be willing to compromise on various issues, not just financial.

Mrs LPC fucking ROCKS [img]graemlins/headbang.gif[/img] till the cows come home and are safely tucked away in the barn and she has gone without a bunch of things that she wanted so I could get some of my coveted Jacksons, but I think I treat Mrs LPC well also and she gets pretty much whatever she wants to also.

Again, take that for what it was worth if you were truly serious in your comment.

[quiksilver]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

I'm not qualified to give you marriage advice, but from a practical standpoint, sneaking that item in won't work, as anyone (guitarist or not) would notice a lightning sky V.

Sounds like you have lots of gear. I always try to sell some gear around the same time I get something (preferably before), to keep it somewhat under control. I would guess that would make it easier for your wife to understand - especially if it's a like piece of gear (e.g., sell a guitar/buy a guitar).

I don't think it matters if you sell a Squier and buy a USA Jackson (assuming it won't put unbearable financial pressure on your family). For non-guitarists, I think the hard part is understanding why you "need" multiple items that generally do the same thing.

On a more philosophical level, my brother, who collects cars (much more expensive than guitars), gave me this nugget of wisdom:

HOBBIES CANNOT BE COST-JUSTIFIED.

Generally, people engage in them for relaxation, enjoyment, self-actualization, whatever . . . not to make money or avoid spending money. Compare it to other hobbies (golf, hunting, fishing, going to movies, etc.), and you'll see that almost no hobbies "pay" or do not cost. And generally, the more involved you get in the hobby, the more it costs (e.g., look at high end fishing rods, tennis rackets, skis, etc.).

That's what I would do and say. Good luck. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[pro-fusion]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

I admit that I've sneaked stuff in before (though nothing as expensive as an RR1). But ultimately, if my wife has a problem with a purchase, there is usually a good (i.e., financial) reason behind it.

At first, she had a hard time dealing with my GAS, but she knows now that it's no different than guys who collect cars, guns etc or play golf--actually better, because music gear really isn't as expensive as a lot of other 'guy hobbies'. And like most of you, my wife knew full well that she was marrying a musician, so it's not like any of this should be a surprise.

Some women try to use stuff like this to be controlling, even when there is no good reason to object. If that's the case, then excessive music gear is the least of your marital problems.

[PallarAndersVisa]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

one of the many reasons why I will never get married

woman always turn into such bitches! just let us play our guitars dammit! [img]graemlins/band.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/band.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/band.gif[/img]

[JacksonJuiceBox]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

If all else fails, get down on your knees and beg for it, tell her you'll host her a tupper ware party or something as an incentive.

[~K~]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Well unless you hae a spending problem or can't really afford it then there should be no reason to have to "sneak" it by the wife... And if she said no just for the sake of saying no it would grounds for divorce on my end ....

[SixStringSuicide]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Amen, gotta keep em in their place. [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[Chasbo]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

There are alot of ways to compromise here dude. As has been said before, if she is just saying no to assert her authority, then time to sit her down and readjust the relationship.

If you have the cash to burn and you want the guitar, there isn't a problem so long as she doesn't have to go without so you can continue to get new stuff. A nice weekend away from home, just the two of you is a nice gesture. So is getting her something that she thinks is important. Even if it's a freakin idiotic piece of decor for your dining room. Some wives think guitars are just as stupid as we know china cabinets are.

Chuck

[SEEGERMANY]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

My wife and I are comfortable in the fact that we know our finances and we spend responsibly. To sneak a purchase by the other would reek of immaturity, would erode trust, and would be insulting to each other's intelligence. Approach her with the purchase and if she has a problem with it, sit down and discuss the issue. Hey, it has worked for me 26 times. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[Newc]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Originally posted by LesPaulCustom:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by Newc:
I agree with the logical approach - if the bills are paid and all that, ask her where the problem is. "Why do you need so many guitars?" "Oh I don't know, why do you need more than one pair of shoes?"

Newc

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you use that approach....then your faced with the answer....I have more than one pair of shoes so that I match completely. The next question is gonna be....do you need a guitar to match each of your outfits?? Think about that question a bit before you answer...if you say "yes" right off the bat...I can see you guest hosting "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy"

Mrs LPC </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Actually, the answer of shoes matching the outfit doesn't hold much water, as one pair of brown shoes can do the job of 5 pair of brown shoes; one does not need brown flats, brown pumps, brown sandals, and brown boots to have a complete outfit, one must simply learn to accessorize properly.
Then there's the purses that match each pair of shoes [img]graemlins/brow.gif[/img]

Taking a hardline approach is definitely the stupid thing to do for either party (i.e. "I am THE MAN, you are NOT", or "I married a man to change him into the man I want him to be - he'll just have to put away his "childish" musical pursuits"). Either attitude will get you the front door against the ass if the other one has any self-respect.

However, likening guitars to baseball cards (another predominantly male pursuit) or stamps may or may not be the answer she's looking for, in which case you have to get her to say exactly what's on her mind. If it's "I don't want you to buy more music gear period", then you need to sit down together and work out the problem, which could range from "You bought x guitar, I want y item" to "Sell one to buy another" to "You need to grow up and put that kid stuff away".
There's no such thing as too many guitars, regardless of who says so and how often they try to drill it into your head.
By the same token, most women will tell you there's no such thing as too many clothes/shoes/handbags/etc etc, and in their mind absolutely nothing (especially a "geetar") compares to "a woman's wants".

Studies have proven that many women equate a shopping trip with sex, achieving an equally satisfying end-result without the actual orgasm. I'd propose the idea that women who agree with this would also tend to think that if their husband was shopping for himself, he's also achieving the same level of satisfaction, in which case she's threatened by "the competition".
On the other hand, studies have also found that many women perceive anything that diverts a man's attention from them is competition, and therefore "the enemy"; in other words, for some women, buying a new guitar is akin to a better-looking woman moving in right next door.

Like I said, you have to find out exactly what's on her mind. Many women do not want to be completely truthful, though they inexplicably demand 100% honesty from you [img]graemlins/brow.gif[/img] , so she may try to weasel out of the explanation with any number of excuses like "just curious", etc. Once you get her to say what's on her mind and why she's concerned, you can address the issue she's having (whether it's competition, feeling "left out" of the shopping for oneself, or financial concerns).

Obviously if it's financial concerns, then you don't need to buy more until you get waaaay ahead on your bills. But if it's "Junior's College Fund" and he's only 2, you've got time, and the world probably won't last long enough for him to reach college. If it's competition, suggest she see a therapist to get over it [img]graemlins/poke.gif[/img]

Newc

[Newc]

Re: Sneaking stuff by the wife

Originally posted by GERMANDETH:
My wife and I are comfortable in the fact that we know our finances and we spend responsibly. To sneak a purchase by the other would reek of immaturity, would erode trust, and would be insulting to each other's intelligence. Approach her with the purchase and if she has a problem with it, sit down and discuss the issue. Hey, it has worked for me 26 times. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">26 relationships or 26 guitars? [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Newc