Fender "Road Worn" guitars - a bit of a rant

[85 San Dimas]

Road Won ,relic'd and the like are just the "in style" custom finishes. A road worn mexi-strat is no different thatn having a Sunburst Tiger or Demartini graphic. it's just the current wave of graphics. We older guys liked lighning bolts, various stripes, and chicks asses all over our guitars (that was back before too many video games when chicks still had killer asses rather than today when fat chicks wear bare-midriff clothes and look for all the world like a freshly popped can of Pillsbury Biscuits busting out but I digress..)

Nowdays people pay extra for guitars that look old..its the same ego and vanity as 20 years ago, but different execution.

Look, probably there was a trainwreck somewhere in Northern Mexico and they had a bunch of torn up bodies....."I know, the Roadworn Series!"
FMIC doesn't spend money....they let YOU spend the money. I agree with most every sentiment in this thread BTW.

[Grandturk]

(that was back before too many video games when chicks still had killer asses rather than today when fat chicks wear bare-midriff clothes and look for all the world like a freshly popped can of Pillsbury Biscuits busting out but I digress..)

You, sir, should seek professional help!

lol

[tonemonster]

personally I think those "distressed" "pre-aged" or "relic" models are:

1. a waste of cash
2. FAKE ass "mojo". they are wannabees.
3. just a marketing ploy to sell guitars

if you truly want a distressed guitar, distress the frickin thing yourself. go spend LESS money on a regular model, and play the living hell out of it, and mistreat it a tad or two to get your scratches and dings in it. dont clean the fretboard, dont clean the guitar. just play it. and play it, and play it. then play it some more. and when your done with that, take it out and play it.

to me, the concept of buying a guitar thats been beaten and worn and paying big money for it just dont make sense.

I file it in the WHY catagory.

I am sure there are others that like them, and thats fine. go on with your badself and your newly bought mojo.

[tonemonster]

(that was back before too many video games when chicks still had killer asses rather than today when fat chicks wear bare-midriff clothes and look for all the world like a freshly popped can of Pillsbury Biscuits busting out but I digress..)

This is so sad, but SO true!

you are correct my friend.

I can think of no better way to describe that.

my cousin had a girlfriend that was like that. 20 years old, and she was about 5 ft, 150 lbs. and wore clothes about 2 sizes too small for her. it was especially ugly at dinner time. the worst part was her attitude! she actually thought she was HOT! she would wear these pants that were way too small and she couldnt wear them right, they were just too small. fat flying out over the top. and the a bright colored thong stretched to its limits over her fat hips. then some shirt that was way too small so her boobs, and tons of fat too, would fly out of the front of the shirt. that shit just confused me more than relic'd gutiar finishes. damn Im gettin old. 36 is old.

I have no problem with fat people. just contain your fat.

[straycat]

A littlt extra "meat" on a woman is fine just wear the right size clothes please.

[Grandturk]

my cousin had a girlfriend that was like that. 20 years old, and she was about 5 ft, 150 lbs. and wore clothes about 2 sizes too small for her. it was especially ugly at dinner time. the worst part was her attitude! she actually thought she was HOT! she would wear these pants that were way too small and she couldnt wear them right, they were just too small. fat flying out over the top. and the a bright colored thong stretched to its limits over her fat hips. then some shirt that was way too small so her boobs, and tons of fat too, would fly out of the front of the shirt.

So... uh... does she have a sister?

[PowerTube]

....and chicks asses all over our guitars (that was back before too many video games when chicks still had killer asses rather than today when fat chicks wear bare-midriff clothes and look for all the world like a freshly popped can of Pillsbury Biscuits busting out but I digress..)

The ass of the average chick today might fit on a Gibson/Epiphone 335 or maybe a Gretsch Country Gentleman.

[PowerTube]

In keeping with the spirit of the thread, when I look around the dating sites these days it seems that most of the women in my age group are looking a bit...(ahem)... "road worn...."

[triplehold]

I like the twists and turns of this thread- road hard, muffin tops- pretty funny. I am guilty of doing a couple of homemade relic jobs and I must say they came out pretty real looking and felt good. I sold both of them and the general reaction is 50/50, "not into relicing" or "looks cool". The 'Heavy Relics" The Music Zoo sells are definitely pretty radical, they probably play like butter and sound sweet. They probably don't smell like sweat, beer and cigarettes and sound like thousands of hours of playing and gigging though- the true elements needed to relic any axe.

[Flatpicker]

I'd rather have a reliced guitar than a reliced woman.
At least I can buff out or refin the guitar.

[Grandturk]

I always thought that you go with the older woman because she's more experienced... but man, these younger broads are doing some crazy shit that the "vintage" models wouldn't even dream of.

So that's like, uh, I like new guitars with Floyds over old guitars with non-locking trems... uh...

[tonemonster]

So... uh... does she have a sister?

no, but she's available now. my cousin broke up with her last fall. she's single AFAIK.

[skorb]

there's few things dumber to me than faked aging of any product or item for sale.

as for it being marketing brilliance, I'm not sure, but you know that if there's a market for stupid then they'll sell to stupid. at least those who pay more for these jokes of marketing the backroom fuckups as something desirable.

[j4vice]

i played a roadworn strat and it was too light. the neck did not look worn but like assembly-line sanded.
i've had this 56 strat as my steady ax for 15+ years traveling. I think it's road worn OUT

[jgcable]

This is so sad, but SO true!

you are correct my friend.

I can think of no better way to describe that.

my cousin had a girlfriend that was like that. 20 years old, and she was about 5 ft, 150 lbs. and wore clothes about 2 sizes too small for her. it was especially ugly at dinner time. the worst part was her attitude! she actually thought she was HOT! she would wear these pants that were way too small and she couldnt wear them right, they were just too small. fat flying out over the top. and the a bright colored thong stretched to its limits over her fat hips. then some shirt that was way too small so her boobs, and tons of fat too, would fly out of the front of the shirt. that shit just confused me more than relic'd gutiar finishes. damn Im gettin old. 36 is old.

I have no problem with fat people. just contain your fat.

Any girl that is 20 years old is hot to me. She may have fat.. but its young 20 year old fresh fat.