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Holy Smallness, Batman!

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  • Holy Smallness, Batman!

    I recently picked up a used Desolation DS-2 ST. I've had it for a few weeks. I could always tell it was small, but I finally strapped it up and played it while standing instead of sitting down.


    I am a little embarrassed by it. It looks excessively small against my oversized body. It looks like a Wal-Mart toy, and I look like a big ole fatty.

    Is it really that small, or have I finally gotten a good look at myself?

  • #2
    I donno.....Are you FAT? Go on a diet you fat fucker!

    I have an opposite problem with Stars, I'm 6'1" but rather than looking like Chris Holmes, I look like a 4', 12 year old girl with one on, same with a firebird (Robbin Crosby rocker major fail - stupid 12 year old girl check)

    Spent years in my gangly youth just trying to get a Les Paul to sit how it's looks on Slash or Joe Perry, even though I have broader shoulders than them and am a fair bit taller.

    I'm still lean now, but happier with my size as I have a lot more muscle mass. I also take solice in watching Demartini back in the 84 era when he was late teens/early twenties and gangly and the Strat he played was twice the size of his shoulders and chest combined, like something he got off his daddies top shelf in the basement with a stepladder.

    But, depending on your cholesterol, does it really matter?

    I think there is a pic of RacerX on here somewhere back in the 80's or 90's, when he is still slim, with a dinky. He makes it look like a plastic 1/4 size from the toy aisle in Wallmart. That guy must be truely massive.

    Don't blame the guitar, blame the growth hormones in the meat and the fact it's four times cheaper in the States than it is in the UK and the Mcdonalds dollar menu.

    I don't know, even 6' 4" (And still quite rare) or something in the UK is way different to your average 6'4" in the States, I donno if it's the growth hormones, the Dutch genepool or the Viking one or the native American one, although I suspect it's the good diet, hormones and Dutch genepool, but 6' 3" in the UK still prodminately means gangly, where as in the States, it means fucking massive, although it's getting that way now here too though, expecially since kids born from the 80's onwards grew up on decent diets, imported growth hormones and fast food without post war rationing and malnutriention (That continued for us here in the UK, in one form or another until the mid seventies).

    You know when the first settlers arrived in Jamestown in the East, the native Americans were a good foot or so taller than the British settlers? This was mainly due to diet and poor nutriention. Amazing to think about that fact now, but you see the thing is, that until the seventies, we, by and large, isolated by german naval blockades and suffering extreme post war poverty, remained the same size.

    It's funny because those Americans with the most pure British settler lineage of ancestors, living in the older parts of the East Coast are still some of the smallest Americans about today....and their eyes are lopsided and they have bad teeth....Just like us really!

    It's like, when I go to Lowes and see the 7' tall African American fella towering over my modest 6'1" statue I think to myself, yer know, if you fuckers had got your act together and helped us out earlier in WW2 and then if your corrupted bankers didn't bundle us with a crippling post war debt that we only just paid off in the late '90's...yeah, my parents would have afforded better food and I'd be as tall as you are an all! Still, I shouldn't take it out on that dude, he is probably on a zero hours contract.

    Anyway, serously, praise to all veterans of all nationalities, past and serving, we owe them everything.

    But seriously yer know, it's kind of like your worse nightmare, having a guitar that looks too big for you. Kind of emasculating yer know?

    Get your cholesterol checked, if its OK, what is the problem? Small guitars look cool man. You will look assertive and masculine on stage. The grass is always greener yer know? It's not the size of the guitar, it's your presence and attitude anyway. I mean, Dimebag (God Bless) was only 5'8" yet that Dean never looked anything but made for him. Look, if you get to a stage where you can't see your own dick, then maybe it is a sign that you should maybe lose a few pounds.

    FATTY. BOOM BOOM Oh what a FATTY!
    Last edited by ginsambo; 11-11-2013, 04:16 AM.
    You can't really be jealous of something you can't fathom.

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    • #3
      Ut um.... Yeah, despite being a 25.5" scale, I think they are a touch smaller on the body than a Les Paul, longer neck though as both guitars join at the 16th fret.

      Yeah, sorry for the rant.
      You can't really be jealous of something you can't fathom.

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      • #4
        Bro maybe you should stop lifting for size...
        I'm back bitches!!!

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        • #5
          I am 6 feet tall and I weigh 180 and my KV2's look massive on me.
          This is what I think of Gibson since 1993. I HATE BEING LEFT HANDED! I rock out to Baby metal because Wilkinsi said I can't listen to Rick Astley anymore.

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          • #6
            I don't know how small a DS-2 is, but I once had a JJP (Jackson Junior Paul) that made a Les Paul look big.
            JHal-1.jpg
            I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

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            • #7
              my DS-2 next to an Ltd EC1000





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              • #8
                I've got the trans blue smear finish on mine. The body is a bit shorter, and anorexic thin, the pups sound thin and tinny, but, mine plays better than anything I've ever had. I'm also 6'3" and it does look like a toy.
                "illegal downloading saved people from having to buy that piece of shit you tried to pass off as music" - Nighbat

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                • #9
                  Well, you know........... those Chinese guys who build the things are little guys.

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                  • #10
                    Wait until you run into a Chinese guy that is 6'1" -6'2" that will toss that theory right out the window.
                    I had a blue smear one and loved the guitar but the neck was just too narrow and thin for me.
                    Really? well screw Mark Twain.

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by lepard View Post
                      Well, you know........... those Chinese guys who build the things are little guys.
                      Read my post. By the same rationale, it is inevitable that it is only a matter of time before they are taller than Americans.
                      You can't really be jealous of something you can't fathom.

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                      • #12
                        The Koreans are getting big now too...all that facination with western food and the hormones we inject the cattle with...some of the South Korean men that I saw while stationed there were easily 6' to 6' 2" and muscled up pretty well. They looked like giants walking around as some of the elderly Koreans are barely 4 1/2' tall. The Korean Special Forces guys up at the DMZ are some intimidating men, specially chosen for that duty!
                        "Rule number one: In my van, it's Rush. All Rush, all the time. No exceptions. Rule number two: Nobody touch the red button. And I mean never touch the red button. Most importantly, rule number three: There's no jerking it in my van!"

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                        • #13
                          Originally posted by pianoguyy View Post
                          my DS-2 next to an Ltd EC1000





                          That's a pretty big difference.
                          I feel my soul go cold... only the dead are smiling.

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