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So I was using these Durex a while back which turned out to be orange, and I had a fantastic idea.....
Normally I keep my pubes nice and trim, nothing worse than having a posh bird stop gamming your pud to fish out a stray pube which has wrapped round her tongue and is making her retch. Most unlady-like. Plus the fact it makes your tool look bigger, naturally.
Well, I thought it would be a hoot to let my fuzz grow a little, then dye it green, so I could have a novelty Carrot Cock when using these orange nodders.
Easier said than done. You have to bleach the wiry little fuckers, and it has come to my attention that if you use Domestos, it doesn't work. And then if you slap on a load of the shit that your Old Dear uses to bleach her hair before the blue rinse, it's like fucking napalm, your general pubic area will end up looking like a doner kebab when it is on the spit, totally devastated. If I send in a close-up pic to the United Nations, they will start up a relief fund for the inhabitants of this ravaged wasteland.
What can I do? It's a big week for me, I have some serious buggeration to inflict, with a groin like the Deli counter at Sainsbury's (luckily no olives. Um, or anything to do with crabs either, thank you very much), it's not going to make any of my vict....um, partners, feel confident that I am a sane and safe individual. I need a cover story. Fast.
Come on, let's be having them.
Normally I keep my pubes nice and trim, nothing worse than having a posh bird stop gamming your pud to fish out a stray pube which has wrapped round her tongue and is making her retch. Most unlady-like. Plus the fact it makes your tool look bigger, naturally.
Well, I thought it would be a hoot to let my fuzz grow a little, then dye it green, so I could have a novelty Carrot Cock when using these orange nodders.
Easier said than done. You have to bleach the wiry little fuckers, and it has come to my attention that if you use Domestos, it doesn't work. And then if you slap on a load of the shit that your Old Dear uses to bleach her hair before the blue rinse, it's like fucking napalm, your general pubic area will end up looking like a doner kebab when it is on the spit, totally devastated. If I send in a close-up pic to the United Nations, they will start up a relief fund for the inhabitants of this ravaged wasteland.
What can I do? It's a big week for me, I have some serious buggeration to inflict, with a groin like the Deli counter at Sainsbury's (luckily no olives. Um, or anything to do with crabs either, thank you very much), it's not going to make any of my vict....um, partners, feel confident that I am a sane and safe individual. I need a cover story. Fast.
Come on, let's be having them.
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