Fugget...I am going to plan my own memorial

[Cygnus X1]

Kind of a rant...
One of my best buddies passed away Wednesday
after being diagnosed with cancer.
47 years old, he was always the type that was...himself.
Never saw him in a cross moment, not a particulary religious guy one way or another.
He was too busy living life for all that.

Yes, he was no angel by the book, but he was well liked and respected, would do what it took to "git 'er done", and maybe that is the closest description for those who never knew him.
Like Larry the Cable Guy.
A redneck to the bone, born and bred...but some of his best buddies are black (ahem...African American).

So about 200+ people and I are there at the memorial, and the service is delivered by a minister that has no idea what the deceased is all about. I'm thinking..."I should have asked if I could speak".
I'm about the same-don't stand up there and say what I'm not. Just tell the truth (highlight whatever good points there are...LOL) and let the party commence.

I have a legal will, remind me to stick a memorial tip sheet in there as well, so people won't have to sit through a bunch of made up improv on me.

Thoughts?

[Newc]

Agreed. I don't do funerals except for immediate family, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't want to hear how my alcoholic, wife-beating, jailbird Uncle was a kind-hearted pillar of the community any more than I'd want to hear someone saying my Mother was the town whore.
Don't make up crap to make anyone feel better about death. If the guy was predominantly a douche, say it.

All this "don't speak ill of the dead" nonsense. Like what, they're gonna come back and haunt me?

[Endrik]

I will fill some papers to make the usage of my death body in ceremonies such as funerals to be illegal. The body goes either to science or directly thrown into a muck hole so it would fertilize plants and shit. I will arrange that when I die that no one knows about it, the word is spread that I went to travel the world with a fishing boat and no one has heard about me ever since.

[Cygnus X1]

The body wasn't there to view, so that wasn't an issue.
And Squirrel (as we know him) was not in any way a douche, but certainly not the guy the minister (who did not know him) portrayed.

We would have been far better off giving him a hunter's memorial, just standing in the woods and remembering how he didn't "hunt"...he bagged game and got back to the house!
Yes, he was that good-if he wanted some venison, it took him no more than about a half hour to get it.
Screw hunting!

But, that isn't he point.
Just the feeling he was not represented, and no one else stood up to speak.

My close neighbor passed away quickly last year, and although I did not know him intimately,
I asked to speak at the memorial, said what I knew, brought out the fun things, and the family is still
saying how grateful they were I did that.

[Jason1212]

I have been to funerals that were like that. My cousin's husband died suddenly and they had someone he barely knew do the service. The guy went on and on about things that were not remotely related to what Paul was about. My dad and I both left saying that we didnt know that Paul was such a great Teamster.

[Rsmacker]

I want wailing and gnashing of teeth and sorrow and rain and tolling bell at my funeral.


I also am going to leave a pot of cash to pay for a couple of really glamorous sluts to turn up, all in black, fishnets, furs, veils, bright red lips and nails etc, and stand across the grave from my family sobbing uncontrollably. Just so my family all think "Who the FUCK were those two?"

After the family all go and do the civilised funeral wake thing ie. get pissed up, I want to have a massive party for all my mates who can swap tales of the lunacy we got up to over the years, including all my fuck buddy/swinger friends, just to show those who dare to doubt my stories of how I enjoyed life.

Oh, and if I go before my beloved Wilksy-Baby, someone bury him alive with me, so we can spend eternity in bum-love heaven. (You'll be doing his parents a favour, they can rent his room out then)

Mind you, I ain't hoping to go for another 40 odd years at least.

[Grandturk]

I told my wife my last wishes: cut me up into 50 pieces and put a piece of me in every state.

[RacerX]

Cygnus, sorry to hear of your friend's passing. I'm of the personality where I WOULD have stood up and grabbed the mic...glad you got to say some words for the neighbor.

[Cygnus X1]

Thank you Ron.
I'll never let the chance slip again...I will insist!

And Rsmacker, nice to see you are always on top of your game.
Funny stuff as usual!