Wives and guitars...

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

For some reason and maybe it's just me
but I thought this thread was about wives holding/posing with their husbands guitar.

Thread title "wives and guitars" is somewhat specific yet vaguely general.

Show her off if you want, I'm not stopping you!

No, it isn't just you. I had my pud out ready.

(Incidentally, I'm watching "Alaska Bush Troopers" on the telly and that is a fucking disappointment too. It's about policemen in Alaska for some reason)

And I thought you Brits were supposed to be reserved. :think:

My sweet Wilksy-Baby, but you will be my wife soon, I promise.

I had a feeling the stinking snatch nibbler would return to troll the forum again with his stupid gay fantasies. Hopefully a double decker bus will put him out of his misery soon. Then it will be great 2010 indeed.

OK, get a room, you two.

:ROTF:

[tonemonster]

I don't have a wife, but I always get the comments "you can't play more than one at a time", "You should save for the future", "You could spend your money on more important things" etc. from mother. And then she goes and spends my paypal earnings on herself without asking.

then tell her that she cant wear more than one pair of shoes at a time.

[Jayster]

I don't have a wife, but I always get the comments "you can't play more than one at a time", "You should save for the future", "You could spend your money on more important things" etc. from mother. And then she goes and spends my paypal earnings on herself without asking.

What are you like 14? Get a fuckin' job and move out(dumbass). You may also find it's easier to bring women home because they stopped thinking you were like Norman Bates

My wife used to give me shit about drinking and guitars, then one day she realized that I don't give a fuck and manage to do enough other things that it doesn't really matter.

Surprisingly, I was gonna sell a guitar not to long ago, and she told me not too ...... Women, they can be very confusing.

Anyway, most women seem to be jealous of the relationship we have with guitars, it seems they would like their floyd adjusted with as much loving care as you just spent on your project guitar. It's really just a jealousy thing with them, love them strong and they stop being jealous of the guitars

[Wayniac]

[QUOTE=MakeAJazzNoiseHere;1316918]

So, I point to the Snow White San Dimas and I say, "Well this white one all matches, too. Actually, they're exactly the same, except that one is red and this one is white."

(They are in fact, exactly the same, except for the color)

QUOTE]

Sounds like a cool lady. The conversation with my ex would have gone like this:
Me:"Well this white one all matches, too. Actually, they're exactly the same, except that one is red and this one is white."
Her: "if they are exactly the same, why do you need 2? " lol.
Me: "well hun - the same reason we all wanna nail twins or triplets.. they look the same.. but you just wanna see if they play and feel exactly the same ".

Hence - she is the ex! lol

The new girl... she doesn't mind at all... actually enjoys my playing and encourages me "hey - that one looks nice.. wht don't you try it out?" lol

[tonemonster]

Anyway, most women seem to be jealous of the relationship we have with guitars, it seems they would like their floyd adjusted with as much loving care as you just spent on your project guitar.

you got that right. There is a special bond one has with their guitars. hey, I tell her she should learn to play an instrument too. I will not be jealous if she learns to play piano. she can buy a baby grand and put it right in the dining room.

[LouSiffer]

you got that right. There is a special bond one has with their guitars. hey, I tell her she should learn to play an instrument too. I will not be jealous if she learns to play piano. she can buy a baby grand and put it right in the dining room.

Tell her to play the "Slobber box blues on the meat horn".

I told my wife this ,but, she tried to roll a steak up into a funnel and make bugle sounds with it. -Lou

[Robert Hendrix]

So, to summarize, my wife likes guitars that "match" and prefers the ones that have "a stick."

Eees mush better wit de steek!!

[cookiemonster]

What are you like 14? Get a fuckin' job and move out(dumbass). You may also find it's easier to bring women home because they stopped thinking you were like Norman Bates

harsh...but fair.

[Rsmacker]

I had a feeling the stinking snatch nibbler would return to troll the forum again with his stupid gay fantasies. Hopefully a double decker bus will put him out of his misery soon. Then it will be great 2010 indeed.

A Double Decker? Why not go for a triple decker?

Guess which floor you will be on, honey.

That's right, you will be Lucky Pierre. My treat to you.

[AlexL]

Surprisingly, I was gonna sell a guitar not to long ago, and she told me not too ...... Women, they can be very confusing.

I was contemplating selling our old 88-key midi controller and sound module, which was originally bought for my wife about 15 years ago. Since I have bought two keyboards recently that obsoleted her old system (which she NEVER used, BTW), I figured I'd get rid of her old stuff.

So, she asked me if it would be possible to build a wood cabinet to house her old configuration, and make it look more like a Piano so we could put it in our living room for the kids to play. I told her that would be expensive.

So, fast forward a month, and my aunt is giving away a nice upright piano for free. I said "Hey Diane, let's get my aunts piano and put it in the living room!" To which she replies:

"I'm not sure that I want a piano in the living room."

I looked right at her and said "THIS IS WHY MEN DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WOMEN ARE THINKING! A MONTH AGO YOU DID WANT A PIANO IN THE LIVING ROOM!"

She just smiled.

- E.

[lerxstcat]

I have contemplated using the SRV response when they say "You love those things more than you love me", but I figure telling her a guitar has never fucked me over isn't gonna restore domestic tranquility.

So now I say, "Baby, that's like saying I love water more than air. I need you BOTH to live, darlin'!"

So far that line has worked rather well and really defuses the competition. If not, playing her the Rain Song usually makes her happy about the guitars again.

I have also found that making the shoes comparison does reach most women, especially when you go on to explain alternate tunings and such. If that's not enough to make peace, then we have a basic incompatibility anyway.

[Grandturk]

Most times when my wife says something about my guitar or my guitar playing, I point to my headphones and mouth the words, "I can't hear you."

[Hellbat]

I got this in an email today, it made me laugh, mostly because I feel this guy's pain. My wife and even going way back, my mother are both like this...

WHY MY WIFE WON'T TAKE ME SHOPPING


After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target.

Dear Mrs. Samuel, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Samuel, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.


1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged..

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by
using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least:

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.”

[tonemonster]

Most times when my wife says something about my guitar or my guitar playing, I point to my headphones and mouth the words, "I can't hear you."

now that is fucking awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Venomboy]

Years ago I showed my wife a pic of a BCR KK Wartribe. She liked it and gave the ok to get one.

A few days later a handmade Beast pops up on ebay. I backdoor it for an insane price. My wife thinks it looks cool and not boring like "Fenders and Gibsons".

We then go to NAMM and she sees a red BCR Widow and thinks it's the cutest guitar in the world. Pops up on ebay a few weeks later, she tells me I have to buy it. OK!

A Wartribe pops up on ebay at a good price, she tells me to get that one too.

A few years before that there's a guy selling a old school Ibanez Destroyer and Rocket Roll on ebay. I tell her I like both and she tells me to email him and ask him to give a deal on both. Works like a charm.

Now I'm up to 9 guitars and a bass. She finally said she thinks I have enough guitars. I can't complain.