Facebook…good way to meet up with old friends OR Why the #$%! Did I join?!

[MetalMedal II]

I don’t have a Facebook acct (yet) or a myspace page, but want to get your honest feedback. I have a couple friends that say, yeah it’s great to meet up w old acquaintances you have lost touch with, plus family, etc. But one of my good friends (who also said initially that it’s great) wished he’d never signed up now. This is because every yahoo that he’s ever known has contacted him going all the way back to grade school. Now, this is kind of interesting and, depending on the person, hilarious to see what’s up with these people, but this has become a bit taxing on him. Honestly, some of these people he really doesn’t care for, which is why he’s never contacted them! And some of these people he honestly does not remember. My friend was not the class prez or anything in highschool, but was decently popular and more importantly didn’t make any enemies there (at least that he knows of!) .

The other part of the equation is how the whole messenging service works. From what I understand, whoever is in your network sees what you post. Which is fine, but what about the other people posting? For example, my friend has several of his in-laws as part of his network. Now, some of his “friends” who found him request to be on his list. Some of these folks are people we hung out with eons ago, and we know them to ascribe to, in their own eyes, specific dogma that quite frankly is not with the majority (is this statement PC enough for ya!). Let’s put it another way. My friend doesn’t want this dude’s potential comments being read by his in-laws. Therefore, this dude was not “friended” when requested, which makes things more uncomfortable.

Now apparently you used to be able to make yourself invisible on Facebook, but this can no longer be done for new users. My friend’s wife is also on the site, but she’s been on for a while and can still make herself invisible which my friend wish he could. Let me know your experiences!

[Jack Napalm]

Found a fellow Marine buddy from 18 years ago just a few months back. We hooked up when I was in L.A. back in January. You can create profiles and limit what people can see and do. Depending on how uptight you are you may or may not like the controls. Seems like someone is always up in arms about it.

I have a list of 'friends' that can't see shit about me. People that thing they know me or we know of each other. I'll friend some people but not let them see much.

[dg]

+1

Facebook can be great if you use it the right way. I've enjoyed catching up with old friends from school, and it's great for sharing pics & videos of the kids with family & friends that we rarely get to see in person.

[Jacksons Shred]

You can customize what you want people to see and what you don't want people to see on your facebook. You can even single out certain people from seeing certain things! If you don't want to "be friends" with someone, you always have the power to deny their friend request..Or In a severe case you can block them and it will make it seem like you don't exist to them, and they don't exist to you.

Myspace is worthless, and is pretty dead now a days since Facebook took over.

[Sunbane]

+2.

Also, if you find out that some of your facebook friends are super-annoying and updates constantly about non-relevant stuff. You can "hide" them so you don't have to cease being a friend to them.

For instance; I've befriended a woman I went to primary school with, and all she ever writes about, once a day, is her jogging exercises. Yay. - HIDDEN!

Another example; There's also this chick, a friend of my missus, that I meet once in a while. She's nice and all, but her facebook updates are always so fuckin' negative. Oh, the weather is shit, and her life sucks, and she's fallen out with some of her friends, bla bla bla... - HIDDEN!

And some people get annoying just because they update so damn often, like they have no life aside of Facebook. I know the drummer in a Swedish death metal band, and when he's on tour, he updates constantly. Some of the updates are pretty interesting, but the constant spammage wears me thin sometimes. - HIDDEN!

[Gartron]

I'm really happy with mine, I've reconencted with friends that had fallen away years ago and also some ex-collegues.

The privacy settings are very comprehensive..so you shouldn't have any dramas.

and if you doesn't like what your seeing then you can just deactivate it.

[Shawn Lutz]

you dont have to accept friends requests from people you don't know or remember. I used to accept everyone on myspace but eventually deleted it and started over

After finding a lost HS friend and adding him I was getting requests from all sorts of people from high school days that I don't remember even knowing lol, had to look em up in an old yearbook

You control who your friends with so it shouldn't be a big deal. If you are worried about privacy from people from work or whatever, have two FB accounts, one for work/business friends and one for personal friends. I certainly dont want everyone from work know what I do on my time

I'm not one who needs to feel loved by having 4579 facebook friends O try to keep it close to andfull of friends and family. I'm at 85 or so I periodically go through and delete friends who I havent conversed wiht or plan on conversing with.

[MetalMedal II]

Thanks for all the replies. Everyone's been really informative.

After finding a lost HS friend and adding him I was getting requests from all sorts of people from high school days that I don't remember even knowing lol, had to look em up in an old yearbook

This is exactly what he's going thru!

You control who your friends with so it shouldn't be a big deal. If you are worried about privacy from people from work or whatever, have two FB accounts, one for work/business friends and one for personal friends. I certainly dont want everyone from work know what I do on my time

Yeah, this is the other thing. Trying to keep your personal life...well personal, which is kind of hard to begin with when it's all in cyberspace. What I don't want is my current work people seeing old friends reflect on our "frank the tank" days, .

I'm not one who needs to feel loved by having 4579 facebook friends O try to keep it close to andfull of friends and family. I'm at 85 or so I periodically go through and delete friends who I havent conversed wiht or plan on conversing with.

Is deleting friends the same as unfriending them? Or something like making them hidden like Sunbane mentioned?

I'm not sure my friend knows all these tricks so I'll have to mention it to him. I know what he wants is to make himself hidden on the site!

[Bert]

Being the mostly anti-social type, I have no interest in having to sort through friend requests from people I was acquainted with ages ago. Also I see what a time sink Fadbook is for my wife, and would rather not get sucked in! I prefer the asymmetric networks like Twitter and Buzz where anyone can follow you if they like and it's fine to contribute when you feel like it and otherwise remain silent. Pretty much I only use Buzz now.

[dg]

.

Is deleting friends the same as unfriending them? Or something like making them hidden like Sunbane mentioned?

I think Shawn meant actually unfriending. You can hide them or severely limit which of your posts & pics they can see as well, if you want to go that route rather than "hurt their feelings" if you're concerned about that at all. I'm at only around 70 or so friends, so it hasn't been a problem for me, but lately I have started getting requests from people I've barely met or maybe had 1 class with in school. I tend to err on the side of not offending people, so I just add them with limits. Plus, you never know whether a much better friend might find you through one of those people's friend lists. That's happened a couple of times.

One thing I've noticed with my younger cousins is that they seem to put much less value in their privacy. They've all got 300 or more friends and just lay everything out there for anyone to see. I think that's nuts, not to mention unsafe, especially since they are gorgeous girls, but it's just how this younger generation is coming up. Between text addiction, Facebook, Twitter, etc., I don't think it's any stretch to believe that there are going to be folks living like the fucking Borg from Star Trek in our lifetime. Lost without the hive, and very possibly linked via implanted tech. I'm not joking.

[Jayster]

There is no longer any such thing as privacy, it's nice to think that there is....

I've lived in many different areas, and worked around the country and have found many acquaintances to some really good friends on FB. Like anything else, if it gets annoying - take a break from it.

Aside from knowing where the parties and concerts are, it's pretty useless. Although I do enjoy being able to share photos with out of state family easily.

And I also have 2 accounts, one fer shit talking and playing dumb games. The other as a more professional page, with family and co workers and church members, etc ....

I would like to answer in more depth but I'm going out to eat.

Cheers

[Riffmeister]

Everybody has pretty much covered it, but I have to say that I can't stand the people on FB who send you friend requests and then totally ignore you! No E- mails answered , no chats , no nothing. These Assholes get on my nerves, it's like they just want to have as many friends as possible weather they talk to you or not.

Also, if you do get hooked into playing some of the games such as Maffia Wars, be prepared for it to not work right half the time!

[VitaminG]

One thing I've noticed with my younger cousins is that they seem to put much less value in their privacy. They've all got 300 or more friends and just lay everything out there for anyone to see. I think that's nuts, not to mention unsafe, especially since they are gorgeous girls, but it's just how this younger generation is coming up. Between text addiction, Facebook, Twitter, etc., I don't think it's any stretch to believe that there are going to be folks living like the fucking Borg from Star Trek in our lifetime. Lost without the hive, and very possibly linked via implanted tech. I'm not joking.

I'm not sure that one of my nieces doesn't understand that it isn't some kind of sentient message service. She occasionally posts these histrionic status updates that seem directed at a very specific individual and then gets shitty if anyone else responds to them (except for her close friends commiserating & comforting her). I don't know if these status updates are really rants at an individual or if she's just quoting lyrics from emo songs. I wonder if she realises that not only is her antagonist going to read them, but everyone in her friends list, including most of her family (including grandparents). Talk about hanging it all out there for the world to see!

[lerxstcat]

Go for it, follow the good advice posted above, and if it really gets out of hand you can always delete the page. Just don't post your phone number and home address in the Info section. and if you post an email get a throwaway email account just for Facebook interactions. That way you can cut ties anytime if you need to.

[dg]

I'm not sure that one of my nieces doesn't understand that it isn't some kind of sentient message service. She occasionally posts these histrionic status updates that seem directed at a very specific individual and then gets shitty if anyone else responds to them (except for her close friends commiserating & comforting her). I don't know if these status updates are really rants at an individual or if she's just quoting lyrics from emo songs. I wonder if she realises that not only is her antagonist going to read them, but everyone in her friends list, including most of her family (including grandparents). Talk about hanging it all out there for the world to see!

One of my cousins & her friends used to post stuff they got from this site

http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

as their status updates. It took me a few days to figure out what was going on, & I was thinking, "Holy shit, that girl's a wild one! Poor uncle Gene's gonna have a heart attack!"