Your opinion please....

[Scooter]

I need some outside opinions here, please.
I've not played in a band for years (15+) and now that I have SOME free time, I'm trying it again. Everything belongs to the bass player, and he wants to have a democracy, but he chose the name, type of music, and likes to book shows with little notice. I'll deal with the name (it sucks balls) and the fact that there are only so many ways to play 3 fuggen chords, this 'drummer' can play, but has no 'finesse' but booking shows when all we have is 3 originals, that are VERY unrefined, and 1 cover that isn't tight is bad karma in my book. I did one show at a bar to open up for a band we're friends with, and we've had several parties, but I tried 3 times over the last week cancel last night. :idea:I just didn't go. We also picked up another guitar player, who's better than me, but he couldn't show either, as he doesn't know the songs that well and had to work.

Problem was, my youngest had his birthday party yesterday, I knew I'd be tired after chasing 6 year olds all day, plus the show was an outside venue and by 8pm it was raining. I won't be playing in the rain, covered stage or not. The wife wasn't happy about it either. She HAS to be there when we play out. Am I wrong to run out on my kids to play 4 songs? Am I wrong to ditch these guys? Its not like it was a paying gig. Some festival on a farm with the bass players $20k PA. :think:

I love to play guitar, whether it be my own music or someone elses, I just enjoy it. I just can't justify practicing once a week, 4 cruddy songs, and booking shows, especially when I have other events happening (lot of life happenings) I'm thinking of quitting again, just to jam in my own room again. I know I'll never 'Make It Big' but its supposed to be fun, now its not. If I sound like a bitch, flame the guts outta me too. Thanks guys. JCF rules.

PS- I know I answered a few of my own questions, but I'd like honest opinions from peeps in bands.

[Bert]

Practicing one a week and playing a few shows (cruddy or not) sounds like a good time to me. If you're not enjoying it though, by all means quit.

[SEAN RAF]

If you're not happy find something else, but be assertive about what you want and expect from your next band. It's bad form to let the band down though. I appreciate that you have family commitments and that they come first, but you knew there were compromises to be made. I was in a similar situation to you; hadn't played for years, then joined an original band that perpetually rehearsed but never gigged. In the end I bit the bullet and did something I swore I'd never do (because I was so far up my own arse), I joined a 100% covers band. Best thing I ever did. Yes, I have to play other peoples tunes, but I play them with Jackson/Charvels through a 5150 half stack with a sound Machine Head would be envious of. Of course, there is some friction between me and the audience...

[Jack Napalm]

If you are not happy get out. But if you accepted the gig and said you would be there and didn't show, then that's unprofessional at the very least. I would handle other bullshit first but being unprofessional is not negotiable with me.

[Musician78]

I agree.... whether it was a paying gig or not, you should have been there. But whatever, that is my opinion. You need to have a "band meeting" and let them know how you feel and what will be happening next. If you plan to stick it out while looking for another band, tell them that and make sure they are cool with it. You got to be up front with them. Just my opinion.

[Shawn Lutz]

kids are the priority bro.

finds a diffferent band that you like or start one with more of a democray for the members.

[RacerX]

joined a 100% covers band. Best thing I ever did. Yes, I have to play other peoples tunes, but I play them with Jackson/Charvels through a 5150 half stack with a sound Machine Head would be envious of. Of course, there is some friction between me and the audience...

I hear that!

[Endrik]

maybe I misunderstood you but is one band practice per week too much for you? if yes then a band is not for you, no matter how good you personally play the band will never get really good with so little practice, the current band is definitely not for you as the gigs are booked when you can't play

[lerxstcat]

maybe I misunderstood you but is one band practice per week too much for you? if yes then a band is not for you, no matter how good you personally play the band will never get really good with so little practice, the current band is definitely not for you as the gigs are booked when you can't play

I think what he's saying is that booking gigs when they only have a 4-song setlist that they aren't even tight on is embarrassing to him, and that the bass player, while pretending it's a democracy, is booking shows on very short notice for no pay. That's what I get out of it, and I would not want to go out an do that either. Of course the musicians I have always played with are of the caliber to sit down and write up a 30 song songlist in 30 minutes, run through them once or twice in rehearsal, and have a big enough setlist to go play 4 1-hour sets with a few highlight repeats in
the 4th set. But I wouldn't go out and play with a band that could barely struggle through 4 songs either.

I would never have agreed to play the show in the first place, especially if I already knew it conflicted with my kid's birthday party. Not cool to agree and then cancel, though, don't do that again or it'll hurt your cred as much as the democratic dictatorial bass player. Just stand up in the first place and don't quit, let him fire you and that will display to everyone that it is really not a democracy.

Which it never is when one guy owns all the shit anyway....

[Endrik]

I get the part not wanting to play half assed set but I didn't quite understand does the band practice takes too much time or there should be more of them

[roodyrocker]

Lots of issues to address here. Some brought up by Scooter and some by people's replies. I play in an 80's cover band and in fact we just played out last night. No matter what there are always some conflicts between band members regarding when and how much to practice, what material to play, etc... One of the most important things as far as playing out is to be reliable when it comes to gigs. If one person in my band can't play a certain day then I don't book that show. There is nothing worse than one member not showing because you have band mates relying on you and if my band tells a club we'll be there then we'll be there. This is regardless of how much the pay is or even if its free.
On practicing, I can see your point about having only 3-4 songs which aren't down tight yet. Sounds like the band is jumping the gun and needs more time before booking anything further. Practicing once a week is what my band does unless someone in the band can't make it in which case we expect to know it about before hand, not the day of practice. We all rely on eachother and if one guy cancels at the last minute that screws up everybody else's weekend since we could have all planned on something else. This is not counting emergencies or getting sick or something like that. Its common courtesy to call everyone else in the band before hand if practice is going to be cancelled. If once per week is too much practice and at the same time 3-4 songs are all you have and they're sloppy then you don't have time for a band. Even if everyone is an accomplished musician they need the practice time together or else the band comes off sloppy.
On owning gear. In my band I own the PA, lights, trailer to move it in, and everyone owns their own personal instruments/amps. Even though this is the case I don't get any more say in anything, nor do I want it, than anyone else. We are a 5 piece band and everyone has their say as far as songs, gigs, etc...
There is much more we can discuss but my band, like yours, is doing this for fun. Where else am I going to blast 80's hard rock through my RR Marshall and Jacksons with lots of people watching us?
It has to be fun or else it doesn't matter!

[Jack Napalm]

My situation is close to Rudy's. We have six people, our sound person is treated like a band member. We use a yahoo group for all our personal band stuff, mostly discussions around songs and notices on times and dates. The calendar is kept up to date so the person that books us knows when everyone is available. Everyone uses it and it works well. But you have to live up to your commitments. We all know if we didn't show barring a major emergency we would be out.

Its hard to get songs tight when you only practice once a week. We get together two to three times a month and then individuals get together when they can if they need to work out certain parts. Being my first real band its tough on me. I am probably the weakest link. I don't want to be so it makes me work harder. But above all its has been fun. Once that stops then I'll move on. There will be other projects.

[Spivonious]

Sounds like you need to find a different band. Booking non-paying gigs on a couple days notice is not acceptable to me, especially if there's a shoddy 4 song set list.

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

This sounds pretty half-assed. I quit the last band I was in over some similar stuff, that was a long time ago, but yeah, if it's "for fun" and it's not fun, then... What are you doing? :dunno:

[Scooter]

Lerx, Roody, and Jack all hit the nail on the head. I never agreed to do the show, we don't rehearse enough, and my family comes first on EVERYTHING. I don't care about paying gigs, this wasn't one, if it was I would have been there no matter what. I'm not going to cost my buds money, that IS wrong. Four songs isn't enough, we need to write more, practice more than once a week, and pick up some covers if need be. There is no one-on-one time at all. When we do practice we have to put up with our drummer constantly dicking around to the point we can't hear. Most of the gigs they want to play are festival types, so all we need is an hour or so worth of tunes. It is fun to me, and I don't want to quit, but there have to be some changes, esp. with the bookings. I'd like to have a couple weeks notice if possible, not this "Hey man can you make it Saturday? I got us a gig!" on Tuesday. I guess what I'm trying to say is we need to get our act together so we don't look like half crocked jackasses trying to act like a band with no talent.
BTW- thanks for the replies, each one is valued to me.