What is up with naming guitars?????

[atomic charvel guy]

you got that straight pal.

[Rsmacker]

I call my favourite guitar Simon.

Simon's cold and wooden, but when I take all of my clothes off and clamber over him, dangling my hairy plums lightly onto his neck and prising my sweaty bum cheeks apart with his heel, I feel him warming to me. We dance, alone, by the moonlight, and I rub my swollen member against his whammy bar, until I explode in ecstasy, coating his smooth body with my man-muck. Simon doesn't mind of course, he just lies there, silent, the bollock batter in thick creamy globules from top to bottom. Sometimes I'll let the pools congeal and dry as a crusty reminder of our "special" time together, other times I'll wipe it off with a pair of old lady's French Directoire knickers that I stole from a washing line one night, as a token of my love for Simon, my proof that I'll do anything for him. Either way, I know he is absorbing my love, my lust, my filthy concrete, part of me becomes part of him, despite his apparent lack of response.

But I know that our love must remain a secret, though we both yearn for the days when we are hip to hip in musical ecstasy, never can our love speak its name (Simon isn't allowed to say "toilet words" in the house). Yet I know we are as one, united, Bonded By Mud, purple-headed Warriors fighting to get our musical message over the noise of Mummy's telly programs downstairs. Oh Simon, I love you, let's show the world it's not wrong, let's show that they are out of touch. God I'm so hard right now, I want to run Simon's thin neck down my bum cleft and damn the consequences.....

Um, I also have a expanding black rubber butt-plug, with vibrating nodules and chrome hardware. What would it look like with white hardware? It's called Tinky Winky and I must get it back from the person who borrowed it.....

[markD]

dude....you are fucked up!!!! hahaha....i think.

[tonemonster]

that gives a whole new idea to the game, Simon says.

[Rsmacker]

Simon says : "Nooooo, aaaargh, it hurts sooooo gooood, hmmm, beat me, fuck me" etc etc.


I called one of my guitars "Big Hairy Balls", just so I could wander round asking people if they'd seen my Big Hairy Balls. My Mum threw me out of the house shortly afterwards.

[Musician78]

OOOOHHHHHH. My KV2 will now be known as the Punisher. My CSKV2 will be the Widowmaker. Now I will be cool.

[jgcable]

I love this thread....
Naming your guitars is silly
Giving yourself a stage name is more silly
Referring to your bandmates by their stage names is uber silly
I was going to use a different word other then silly but there are some silly kids on this forum who might get affended and I sure wouldn't want to do that.
For the record, I go by the name John in my band (its my real name believe it or not) and I have 2 guitars that I play live. I call them:
The Ibanez (or the pink guitar)
The Washburn (the wood guitar)

[jgcable]

You make it sound like a big fucking issue. Like it's all over this place. Show me 10 fucking quotes from here where people seriously named their guitar

There are literally hundreds of posts where forum members refer to their guitars with names. There are even more posts with forum members referring to bandmates with stage names.
It makes me cringe and wish I would have taken up needlepoint instead of guitar.
Take that...

[Scooter]

Never named anything other than a pet. To borrow a line from a movie, I think I'll call one of my guitars "Mary Jane rotten crotch" cause she gets fingered every chance I get.

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

I just refer to them by their color/make/model. If I have duplicates then one of them is the "other" one. And I probably should sell one of those anyway, so I don't really do that. :dunno:

Stage names... It's one thing to have a nickname, like Jerry "Lightning Fingers" Jones, but another thing to go by Lightning Jones or Harry Buttkraken or some crap like that. And "Izzy Stradlin" - what was that guy thinking? :think:

[jgcable]

I think they should make it totally legal to smash a persons guitar if they refer to it by a pet name. I also think it should be totally legal and encoraged to smash a bloke in the teeth if he refers to himself or his bandmates with a stage name.
Thats just what I think though.
They also should have punched me in the face for going through a can of purple aquanet every night, wearing spandex, a feather earing and 5 bandana's back in the 80's.
All that just to get laid a few times at every show.

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

The things we do for pussy...

[VitaminG]

we've spoken about changing the name of the band to Dusty Ring and The Rhythm Method. But no one can settle on who gets to be Dusty Ring. One thing is for sure though - there are no guarantees that The Rhythm Method will stop you getting pregnant.

[tonemonster]

jgcable.....I am proud of you like you were my own son.

If I ever had a stage name, it would be "Needle Dick the bug fucker" why? because it just flows. nicely.

[dustin1969]

They also should have punched me in the face for going through a can of purple aquanet every night, wearing spandex, a feather earing and 5 bandana's back in the 80's.
All that just to get laid a few times at every show.