Those of you with kids...

[Musician78]

How do you deal with the clutter? Or does this not happen with you? I understand that kids need toys and don't have an issue with that, but our living room just has too much stuff.

In one corner is a V-Tech thing that she can walk behind. Under the TV, there is a shelf on which there is a myriad of kids books, of course there is no way to stack the neatly because of their weird sizes. Under the coffee table accross the room there is a small bin with toys, a stuffed bear and a couple of other weird toys. In the other corner, there is one of those car like things in which Fiona can sit and play with a small variety of noisemakers. This drives me up the wall.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a meltdown and removed half the toys from the living room and that resulted in a huge fight between me wife and me. She doesn't have an issue, which is weird because she hates clutter as much as I do. Everytime I say anything, she references my music room, which, admittedly, is a bit of a mess.... but... nobody sees that room. Except me and my daughter when I bring her down there.

It used to be that people could drop by at anytime, and practically eat off the floor. Now I am constantly picking up the crap that we keep out here for Fiona and most of the time (although not terrible; but enough to annoy me) I would be embarrassed if anyone stopped by. It is ridiculous. I can't understand why there needs to be so many toys in the living room. All my guitars are not out here. In fact, none of them are.

Anyhow... sorry for the question turned to rant... I am just frustrated and every single day I come home and see this crap. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughter but I simply don't see the necessity of having so many toys kicking around. And I swear if I step on another fuggin domino...

[Cygnus X1]

Be very careful.
My former "music room" is now in my garage.
I gave the boys their own rooms for their stuff.

[Musician78]

She has her own room... albeit small... but we painted the walls a lively shade of green in order to bamboozle her into thinking it is bigger than it is. I think it worked. But she is only 8.5 months old, so she probably doesn't care.

[lerxstcat]

If you want to keep your happy family and home, get used to it. Who is the primary caregiver for your child, you or your wife? I presume it's your wife due to your reference to coming home to a mess. If that's the case, you have no idea what she is going through on a daily basis to keep up with the child.

Life is not always ordered exactly as you want it, but compromise is not a bad thing. Pick your battles and this is probably not important enough to fight about.

[dg]

We have 2 boys, one 3 1/2 y.o. and a one a little over 2. We found after a while that they do much better if we rotate the toys, so we keep about a third of their stuff out at any given time, and we have them pick one to take out of rotation for each one they want to bring in. When we had everything out, the whole downstairs of the house was littered with toys, and all they did was jump from one thing to the next without focusing at all, and they were actually less happy and behaved a lot worse than they do with fewer to choose from. We've also started to teach them about giving up toys that they no longer play with, and they actually got a kick out of helping us cull them, pack them up, and take them to a homeless shelter to give to needy kids. There's going to be some clutter no matter what, but you can definitely keep it under control with some effort (and if you can keep everyone on the same page).

Having said all of that, Rich is dead on about picking your battles and keeping your wife happy.

[Musician78]

If you want to keep your happy family and home, get used to it. Who is the primary caregiver for your child, you or your wife? I presume it's your wife due to your reference to coming home to a mess. If that's the case, you have no idea what she is going through on a daily basis to keep up with the child.

Life is not always ordered exactly as you want it, but compromise is not a bad thing. Pick your battles and this is probably not important enough to fight about.

Oh no, we both work. At the same place infact. 2 cubicles away from each other. It isn't always a mess when we get home, but it certainly doesn't take long to get that way. I just don't understand why we need to keep so many toys in the living room. I hate fighting about it, but she gets wicked attitude when I try to phase some of the toys out... In the think accross the room I am looking at right now, there has to be 40 different toys. And of course, Fiona has to pull them all out. I got rid of about half of them, and I don't think she even noticed. But my wife did. And she was NOT happy.

[Newc]

What DG said - shrink the available options by a third, then by half, then down to 1/4 of the total. This keeps her interested as going back to the others is kinda like Christmas for her, given a child's short attention span.

For the books, get one of those cheap footlockers from WalMart and treat storytime like digging out old tomes from an ancient treasure chest.

Too many options leads to a form of ADD, or at least the inability to focus on one thing for any length of time. This can only get worse as time goes on. Once she starts school, she'll be unable to focus because she'll be going from one thing to another constantly, and trying to do too much at once.

Keep the walker thing in the living room where you can watch her walking development (correct bad habits, make sure she's balanced and not relying on the device as crutch when it shouldn't be, etc). Keep the noisy car thing in her room. She doesn't need that at such a young age, actually, so I'd phase it out.

The common areas of the house (kitchen, living room, bathrooms, etc) should be kept neat for the enjoyment of all - you, the wife, the kid, your guests.

Your music room is not open to discussion. It's your space. Keep it how you feel it should be kept.
The wife has her space which she keeps the way she wants it kept. The common areas are not hers or yours exclusively, despite who is and is not the primary caregiver.

[6string40]

That might be the most logical thing Newc's ever posted!!

[mr426]

Everynight I make my kids (3 and 8) pick up all their toys from the living room.They do good at it, but my wife is the one that likes to leave piles of anything everywhere...I can make the kids do it, but the Ol' lady is another story...

[Twitch]

We keep a toy box in the living room for our 11 month old, but we try to get the older girls,6 and 7, to play in there own room as much as possible. It gets messy sometimes, but if need be only takes 5 minutes to put all the babies toys back in her bin and put any toys belonging to the older kids in their room. We just throw them(the older girls toys) in the older girls room, they made the mess, theyre responsible for it no matter where the mess ends up.

[javert]

My son is 1 1/2 years old now and he's in a phase where he absolutely has to check out what's in every drawer and cupboard.... and empty its contents on the floor! And I know exactly how you feel about the clutter. There's toys all over the place. Sometimes the dogs get confused as to whose toys they are (and I can't say I blame them since a lot of it looks and sounds the same as dog toys).

[Scooter]

Its a kid thing. When they're done with whatever it is they're playing with, that's where it stays, unless you teach them otherwise. Positive re-enforcement helps, but sometimes a reminder about how said object looks really good in the trash will help too. Welcome to parenthood.

[RacerX]

but sometimes a reminder about how said object looks really good in the trash will help too.

bwahaha, good one.