how to get signed?

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

publishing rights? do we need those? nah, you can have them, as long as you promise to pay
for any lamps we may break in the motels we stay in..

Dude, we used to play for beer and exposure (which was beer for next weekend.) Now it's like "How many lamps do you want to break?"

What has rock and roll come to? :dunno:

[Grim]

Well before we do all this, we need to learn spelling and grammar.

[atomic charvel guy]

Dude, we used to play for beer and exposure (which was beer for next weekend.) Now it's like "How many lamps do you want to break?"

What has rock and roll come to? :dunno:

it has come to Endrik and his crabcakes. it's not a good situation.

[Grandturk]

Now it's like "How many lamps do you want to break?" :dunno:

I break plenty of stuff without rocking or being signed. Just as my wife. I'm always knocking stuff over.

[Endrik]

Are you fucking kidding me? Beer, lamps? Get the fuck outta here! I want to get paid for blessing politicians like many years ago we had a gig in the middle of the country where the rest of the band members were from, it was in the biggest local concert hall which also at the same time held an event for the youth of the biggest political party in the country, basically bunch of soon-to
-be-yuppie teenagers getting shit-faced. I remember in the backstage where most were hammered, my band mates started pissing everywhere, there were also bunch of "future ministers" and their secretaries coming in and out and some of the later ones probably got fucked in the ass by us, what I remember is that some of them started recruiting us, my drummer joined because the recruiters were two hot blondes but I was troubled by some fucking douchebag with his salesman talk, he was drunk and fell down, poor fellow, so naturally I started blessing him with my yellow holy nectar. After all this effort which made those cunts become the rulers of the parliament a couple of months later I still haven't received any kind of benefits.

[atomic charvel guy]

you're an appalling and deplorable young man, i swear it.

[levantin]

Endy, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not nice to piss on drunk strangers?

(Where's Rsmacker when you need him?)

[Endrik]

you're an appalling and deplorable young man, i swear it.

heh, takes one to know

Endy, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not nice to piss on drunk strangers?

why not, they piss themselves anyway, lets be economical, one less person has to wash their clothes the next day, saves water and electricity

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

it has come to Endrik and his crabcakes. it's not a good situation.

I'll say... I hate crabcakes!

[atomic charvel guy]

i had no knowledge of crabcakes until Endy unleashed it on us here on this board.
I love the kid, but i'll never forgive him for that one. fukkin' scarred from it.

[Soap]

i can tell you how to not get signed, write great songs.

You nailed it. So true.

[Twitch]

My band was signed by an Indie label for a year. They did absolutely nothing for us. When the contract was up, we told to not let the door hit them in the ass on the way out. Thats basically how it is anymore unless you write for the radio.

[Rsmacker]

Endy, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not nice to piss on drunk strangers?

(Where's Rsmacker when you need him?)

Here! Yeah, Endrik, you rotter, you must make sure that someone photographs you in the act. Remember - a photograph of your cock in the vicinity of any politician's head is worth its weight in gold when the time comes. You just waltz into his office, tell his secretary to make you a cup of tea, then start making silly demands, or the photo goes global. You can even ask him to get you a record contract.

The best way to get signed is to be young, pretty and be able to deep-throat Simon Cowell's cock. All the better if you are female.

[MOSHWITZ]

how to get signed?

well, if your a female with Big'uns...you just bring a sharpie,,,,and your cleavage


MOSHON
DAVE

[VitaminG]

Are you fucking kidding me? Beer, lamps? Get the fuck outta here! I want to get paid for blessing politicians like many years ago we had a gig in the middle of the country where the rest of the band members were from, it was in the biggest local concert hall which also at the same time held an event for the youth of the biggest political party in the country, basically bunch of soon-to
-be-yuppie teenagers getting shit-faced. I remember in the backstage where most were hammered, my band mates started pissing everywhere, there were also bunch of "future ministers" and their secretaries coming in and out and some of the later ones probably got fucked in the ass by us, what I remember is that some of them started recruiting us, my drummer joined because the recruiters were two hot blondes but I was troubled by some fucking douchebag with his salesman talk, he was drunk and fell down, poor fellow, so naturally I started blessing him with my yellow holy nectar. After all this effort which made those cunts become the rulers of the parliament a couple of months later I still haven't received any kind of benefits.

I thought this was going to be a story about Bono