how to get signed?

[Endrik]

I'll say... I hate crabcakes!

You really hate these blokes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT15lPS-Vik taking a dumb? I wonder why?

[Chad]

Read this article for some inspiration:

http://www.altpress.com/features/entry/no_money_mo_problems/

[dg]

More good reading:

http://www.negativland.com/albini.html

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

You really hate these blokes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OT15lPS-Vik taking a dumb? I wonder why?

Yeah, I am not a fan.

[VitaminG]

Yeah, I am not a fan.

you are kidding, right? They have everything anyone could want in a band. Matching haircuts, matching outfits, choreographed headbanging, choreographed "rock guitar moves", that sick new squatty guitar move crab thing that all the kids are copying now; Melodic vocals, screamo vox, death vox, black metal vox, an epic chorus over strummed octaves, simple lyrics that don't actually say anything, a metalcore breakdown, some kind a club/dance breakdown, some tight drum/bass/guitar riffage, subsonic bass, squeelies, gothic keys, piano fills; they even have Cher's "can you believe in love after love" effect on the melodic vocals for a little bit at the end. It's like they studied the styles of every band that has anything to remotely do with any genre of metal over the last 15 years and jammed them all into 3 minutes 30 seconds. The only thing they could have done to increase the awesome would be to have some nintendo lead guitar over it. Maybe they could have had that Dragonforce dude lay some down. Disappointed there was no turntable in there though.

[MakeAJazzNoiseHere]

That's as convincing an argument as I've ever heard, Gary... But I'm still going to have to go with "No."

[atomic charvel guy]

i wouldn't open that link from Endy for all the whiskey in Ireland.

[jgcable]

Get signed by who exactly??

[Inazone]

My band was signed. We paid for the recording and mixing, and the label covered everything from that point on: mastering, replication, distribution and promotion. Unfortunately, their mastering "engineer" was a hack (long story) and the resulting finished product sounded terrible. Reviews were so focused on the production (which started out fine) that very little attention was paid to the actual music, and they pressed WAY too many CDs, most ending up ending up gathering dust in a warehouse. The label didn't recoup their costs, and we never saw a penny. On top of it, they had been about a year behind the curve on adopting a digital download model. Our stuff ended up on iTunes and other download services, but we don't know how - and didn't make any money from that part either. They were victims of their own ineptitude, though, and went out of business before we started on the second album of our contract.

Despite that, I would work with a label again if the conditions were right. I've talked to a couple about releasing our almost-done new album, but the game has changed so much that we'd need a much different deal than last time around.

[Nightbat]

The best way to get signed is to be young, pretty and be able to deep-throat Simon Cowell's cock. All the better if you are female.

Hmm, with most acts being male, I would think otherwise

[Rsmacker]

Hmm, with most acts being male, I would think otherwise

Um, if you can deep-throat him, I doubt he's going to be that fussy. Just think of Jonathan King and his contribution to bands....

[Endrik]

Is Simon Cowell the new Dick Clark? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlEr_WLkQvg

[jgcable]

My band was signed. We paid for the recording and mixing, and the label covered everything from that point on: mastering, replication, distribution and promotion. Unfortunately, their mastering "engineer" was a hack (long story) and the resulting finished product sounded terrible. Reviews were so focused on the production (which started out fine) that very little attention was paid to the actual music, and they pressed WAY too many CDs, most ending up ending up gathering dust in a warehouse. The label didn't recoup their costs, and we never saw a penny. On top of it, they had been about a year behind the curve on adopting a digital download model. Our stuff ended up on iTunes and other download services, but we don't know how - and didn't make any money from that part either. They were victims of their own ineptitude, though, and went out of business before we started on the second album of our contract.

Despite that, I would work with a label again if the conditions were right. I've talked to a couple about releasing our almost-done new album, but the game has changed so much that we'd need a much different deal than last time around.

Thats about how it goes when you get signed. Don't forget about the tour you have to go on to promote the album. Its the tour that makes you quit your job so you can travel to crap clubs, play for nobody and make no money. The only good part is you can get laid alot.

[bombtek]

This is so easy to do its laughable.

1. Start your own internet music company. (You don't have to actually do anything but set up a free website, make a name for your company and ..BOOM you're done.)

2. Start up your band ..real or imaginary...doesn't matter in today's society.

3. Record something..anything.

4. Sign yourself to your own label!!

BOOM!!! You are now a legitimate signed artist!!!

[jgcable]

This is so easy to do its laughable.

1. Start your own internet music company. (You don't have to actually do anything but set up a free website, make a name for your company and ..BOOM you're done.)

2. Start up your band ..real or imaginary...doesn't matter in today's society.

3. Record something..anything.

4. Sign yourself to your own label!!

BOOM!!! You are now a legitimate signed artist!!!

This is the best advice yet.
One of my bands back in the day had a signing party. We promoted it all over the place. People came and signed our guest list. It was cool. We got hammered.