Two things I thought I'd never see...

[Rsmacker]

Ooh, a Cum-in-my-pants day today, thanks to a couple of things I never thought I'd see:

1. The fucking Vulcan just flew over my house! Luckily, I was just coming home and spotted its approach, smoking like it's got a dodgy oil seal. It's a fucking monster of a plane, once upon a time they were the dog's bollocks of bombers - fly down to the Falkland Islands, bomb the airstrip, then home to England for tea, spiffing! There's one on the ground at an old WW2 airfield near here, they were trying to restore it, but had absolutely no chance, it's been sitting in the open air for 20 years, rotting away (plus it's had twats like me clambering all over it!), and the official project to get one airworthy again nearly faileld, so I'm really pleased to see this one flying over. It's given me more of a stiffy than when the Lancaster flies over, and I get pretty erect then, I can tell you.
My Mum tells me that when she was a kid, you could hear the engines being tested at Bruntingthorpe airfield, miles and miles away from here, they moan.
And here's a little vid of the plane howling:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqA6bgFPGWI

2. I've been looking for an LP for years, yet always got blank looks. Today, I went to my mate's storage container and there it was, sitting on a pile of old LPs, he's had the fucking thing since 1988!!!
The LP is called "Sex" and the band is called "Oral".

Track listing:
1. Head. 2. Love Pole. 3. Gas Masks Vicars & Priests
4. Black Leather. 5. Pearl Necklace. 6. I need Discipline.

The band consists of 4 filthy looking fillies, dressed in leather and fishnets (a bit like Motley Crue, but with less cocks. Slightly.)
All I need now is to find a fucking record player and my quest will be at an end...

[Snoogans]

I remember being knocked on to my ass by the sheer sound pressure of a climbing Vulcan at an airshow when I was a young'un. Awesome* machine from back when we Brits could still do big stuff. I'm sure someone will be along shortly to tell us how much better theirs are.
Not sure about the LP though...

* In the truest sense of the word. Not as in "Dude, that was an awesome sandwich!"

[zeegler]

I remember hearing that they were decommissioning them, and feeling rather sad. I still have a fan blade from one of the jet engines from one of the Vulcans that served in the Falklands war. Such an impressive awesome plane. Those giant delta wings were so cool. I saw the Vulcan flying at several airshows as a kid, but mostly at Farnborough. We used to go every year.

hey Rsmacker, let's see the pics of the LP. I want to see what these floozies look like.

[zeegler]

Here's the Vulcan you saw:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E5esdbkDTBM

...and we can't forget the Handley Page Victor, another awesome piece of British engineering.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh2YSzBdWFg&feature=related

[zeegler]

I want one of these

[Hellbat]

Vulcans are impressive to see and hear in the air for sure. Still the loudest plane I've ever heard is a CF-101B Voodoo on afterburner flying by at about 700 feet. It could make you go sterile.

Oh, here's Gas Masks, Vicars, & Priests for anyone wondering about the band hehe...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSx9CSLlQnM

[Rsmacker]

Hellbat, I am indebted to you, how the fuck did you find that, I have been scouring the web, on and off, for years.

It all started when, bored with phoning up Dave Mustaine's Mum in the USA and asking if she had sent him out in clean underpants until she told us to fuck off, we happy band of pissed up 15 year olds were listening to that LP. My mate's parents used to go away in a caravan every weekend, so used to let us party at the house, buying us crates of Newcastle Brown Ale, Carlsberg and home-brew wine. We'd sit there, playing darts and smoking cigars, like any other normal, healthy 15 yr olds, getting slaughtered.

One day, our friend Jon made a fatal error. As we sang along to this very track, he looked up from the LP cover and asked :
"Which one would you want to be?"

Pardon.

"Which one of these chicks would you want to be? I mean, the one in the middle probably gets the most cock..."

Chaos. Carnage. Laughter. Humiliation.

I know that to this very day, were I to spot Jon in the street, even though he's probably a respectable Lawyer in a pinstripe suit, I'd be wholly unable to prevent myself from running up to him and shouting "WHICH ONE GETS THE MOST COCK???? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! POOFTER!!"

(I'd be the one on the right, she's got the nicest tits)

[zeegler]

If we're talking about the loudest, the one that just about made me piss my pants at 10 years old was the English Electric Lightning. It was at Farnborough (as usual), and they had just announced on the PA system that it was about to make a pass at low level, and to look to the left of the airstrip, which we all did. So I'm looking off into the distance, and can't see a damn thing, when suddenly there is this ungodly noise and the Lightning, which approached from the RIGHT END OF THE AIRFIELD passed by in a literal blur. One second it was there, and half a second later, just gone. I can't even begin to describe how loud that thing was, but it sounded like the fabric of space itself was being torn apart. All the hairs on the back of my neck were standing on end, and I swear that if I hadn't just emptied my bladder a few minutes earlier, I would have been wearing wet pants for the ride home. Fortunately, the Lightning came around for a slightly slower pass, so we could all get a better look at it. That made me happy, as the previous year, they announced that "the Lightning all weather interceptor would not make an appearance DUE TO BAD WEATHER!!". I was seriously bummed out, and slightly amused at that.

One thing that always struck me with British aircraft, especially the Cold War era stuff, was the Dan Dare/Flash Gordon type look to a lot of it. I don't know if this was intentional, or just a happy accident, but I always thought it was cool.

[Rsmacker]

Ha ha, I was talking to my Old Dear today and she was gutted she missed the Vulcan flying over, especially as I'd passed her driving the other way a minute beforehand. She told me that she could remember taking me to an airshow when I was a nipper and the Vulcan shook the shit out of everything as it took off. She said I was screaming with my hands over my ears.

One of my earliest memories is of the time she took me to another airshow and the same sort of thing as you Zeegler, a fucking Lightning roared over and scared the shit out of me. I can still see it now, climbing almost vertically, and crying like a, um, baby. The Old Dear says the afterburners were lit, but I can't remember that.

I think I'm a victim of child abuse and deserve a nice fat compensation payout.

RAF Duxford has a good airshow, a few years ago I went and stood on the roof of the old runway buildings just across the motorway (because I'm a miser and wasn't prepared to pay). Twenty-odd Spitfires and Hurricanes landed and took off, I was almost at head height with the pilots, it was fucking epic. It was like when you stick one of those butt buzzers up yer arse, I was on the edge of cumming for ages, as these planes roared past, unmistakeable sounds. Then, the Memphis Belle plane roared over, incredible. Imagine 1000 of those fuckers flying over, you'd think the end of the world had come.
Finally (well, as far as I can recall), a de Havilland Vampire did a few passes, then a Lightning. The Lightning didn't make me cry that time, just cream my jeans.

[Hellbat]

I grew up near the Vancouver airport (YVR). It's a commercial airport so we didn't get military planes in often except for around the Abbotsford airshow when they would be coming and going. But those old military planes they didn't give a fuck about noise reduction, thats for sure.

Engineer : "This part will make the plane 100db louder"
Designer : "This part will make the plane 5 ktia faster"
General : "Put that fucking part on my plane!"

[Snoogans]

The Lightning has always been my favourite, having had a very similar experience to Zeegs, albeit at Greenham Common (Before the dykes). The only other thing that came close to that level of extreme noise terror was the F-104.