Where's that snake molester gone?

[Rsmacker]

Paging Mr Lawson...

[Hellbat]

I got a PM from him last Saturday.

[Rsmacker]

He's been online today, but is obviously too busy to read nonsense on here.

I wanted his opinion on something.

For months, I have been getting a massive hardon over visiting this bloke's place, where he keeps over 20 King Cobras. I love those snakes, they really engage something deep in me (oo-er!). He's got some fucking huge snakes, and has, apparently, "trained" one to fuck off and back down if he raises his hand to it - I've seen the videos, very impressive, balls of steel.

Well, he has been promising to open this Sanctuary to the public and I've said I'm definitely up for a visit, as soon as I have an opening (oo-er again). I've said I 'll take one of my nieces, she's very keen on conservation and these creatures really need more friends.
So, got a weekend free soon, thought I'd book a visit.
Hmmm, the website's disappeared.

A little Google search reveals....

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3667807/Kiss-of-death.html

I'm stunned, really. Such a shame, for him, his family and the snakes.
Just goes to show that however well you think you know dangerous animals, you could easily screw up and get tagged.
Then I thought of Mr Lawson and the very touching pic that he did especially for me - a rattler in a tub along with a sign "Rsmacker loves Dicks"...

Don't get bitten Mr L, but if you do, can I have your 88?

[john.w.lawson]

Yes its true, the outcome of handling reptiles and speaking with you are not always good Just kidding your very funny and rattlesnakes are not..Have a good one Rsmacker.Thanks for thinking of me..

[Nightbat]

All one needs to do is remove a few words annd now we see the hidden message:

For months, I have been getting a massive hardon
fucking huge balls of steel.
soon I 'll take one of my nieces
she loves Dicks

[john.w.lawson]

Oh, now your feeding him,Rsmackers is nothing if not a perv But hey me too By the way smacker if you die choking yourself to death while masturbating, do I get your snake skin guitar?

[Rsmacker]

What? This little beauty?


In the words of the late Amy Winehouse : "No, No, No (Gimme another drink fuckface)". I'm surprised though, it was my Warlock that provoked the most rattlesnakes-in-my-mailbox stunts not so long ago. (Hard luck guys, the Royal Mail are so shit, they were all dead long before I opened the boxes)

I'm working on the Death By Masturbation too, can you really die from having too big wrists?