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No, not Spooky Spice and those other whores.
Whenever I eat something that was prepared with or includes any sort of spice - Worchestershire sauce, A-1 Steak Sauce, BBQ sauce, chili powder, etc - I have wierd dreams. Nothing wet, sadly
Mostly they're akin to parallel universes or just outright bizarre. Like Dr. Seuss meets Rube Goldberg and they redesigned the world
I've just woken up from one where I was in this large Mall. I'm walking around the place and there's a music store, so I go in to see what kind of guitars they have. Generic copies of various stuff as always, including some sort of Gibson Faded V-type thing that upon closer inspection looks more like a very-miniature-bodied Explorer shape (and I mean I had to get RIGHT up on it, like nose-to-nose, yet from 5 feet away it was a roundhorn V with the white pickguard and all).
Then some scrawny little kid is Karate Kidding me; kicking me in the shins and shit. Nothing painful, but fucking annoying. So I grab him by the wrist and twist his arm outward and drag him back to the little seating area/food court-looking spot in front of the store asking "Whose kid is this? Get him away from me with his damn karate shit before he loses an arm!" and his fat-cow Grandmother (who appears to be all of 40) turns to her fat-cow daughter and her equally fat friend at the small table behind her and says to get her son. I shove the little bastard into his granny and ignore their whining and I turn to go back into the store, but for some reason I'm thinking it's further down, so I'm walking.
I end up in some sort of comedy club (still within the mall) and it appears pitch black largely due to the dim lighting in the club vs the bright lights of the main Mall area. There's a stream of people coming in the door behind me, so I have to go forward trying to find an alternate exit. I wind up at the end of a short hallway looking at two glass doors that have been painted black but with the names of the stores painted decoratively in gold, and there's enough unpainted glass left that I can see these are the service entrances to these shops (I was hoping I could just exit the club through either of these doors, but I could just barely make out the sign that read "opening these doors will cause the Fire Alarm to sound" or somesuch, so I had to stand there. I felt slightly out of breath and felt myself leaning to one side and almost falling over, even leaning against the wall. My eyes adjusted to the dark (or the house lights came up a bit, I couldn't really tell) and I saw that the floor was very uneven in that one spot I was standing, which is what was causing me to fall over.
Then around the edge of the hallway I could see it was like a bar or something where lots of people were seated. Maybe it was just that the curtain to the stage had come down between acts or something, I dunno.
So finally I make my way out of there and end up back in the main Mall area, and it's getting closer to closing time (getting dark outside), but there's still plenty of stores open, so I'm walking around still trying to find that one music store.
I pass through a doorway with a crowd of people and to the right I see a dark gray/black combo amp with what looked like red or kinda purplish trim around the speakers and faceplate behind a single-spaced glass door, and I almost pass it but stop in my tracks and go back. I peek through the glass as the lights are off in the store and I see a few guitars on the far wall, and a black Roswell with maple board and ebony fins just beyond some other stuff (shelves and whatnot - it's a pretty big store).
There's light coming in from behind that section from the other stores and how the mall curves around at that point (it appeared all the stores were basically walled with glass), as well as light reflecting in the glass door I'm looking in, so it's really hard to tell what's really up with the Roswell I'm seeing (and it's sitting kind of at a 45 degree angle, not hanging straight up and down, so it's on display).
Then I spot this V-shape right next to the door. It's a B&W Zebra King V with a slightly funky-shaped 3x3 head (not the SLS head, but more squared and flared on the tip). I stand waaaay up on my tippy toes and I see it says "Jackson Custom Shop" on the head, and I'm stoked. It's got what appears to be a birdseye maple board as well, but there's also something funny going on with the body.
For one, the tips are turned forwards, not sideways as normal, so they're wide across the front and thin along the back. As well, when I move to the side to see behind the guitar, there's these rail-type things along the back that start about 2 inches above the tips and go up about 7 or 8 inches and taper off to be even with the body.
At first I turn to some other Metalhead (older guy, or just more roadworn - still got the biker jacket, the long stringy Metalhead hair, and seems to be physically fit) and say "that must be 'hoof tips'.." because they looked slightly like zebra hooves and matched the painjob. He agreed. Kinda.
Some then dude comes up with a ladder and sets it in front of the store, and the small windows along the top are actually openings (about a foot high by 3 feet wide). He's looking at the guitar a bit closer, then reaches through and grabs the guitar and pulls it out!
I'm like, "dude, the cops are going checking the closed stores, do you really think that's wise?" and he plays the guitar for a bit, then hands it to me and says "check it out so I can put it back before the cops find us".
So I'm checking out the guitar and it's got a scalloped board but it's all uneven - some of the frets aren't even there as I'm missing notes (and entire fretwires) and it just really looks like a homemade scallop job. Shit, I coulda done better with a Dremel
So next thing I know the store's open, and I put the guitar back on the wall and go see about this Roswell. It's gone. There's a little plastic toy Roswell-looking electronic gizmo (TV remote? Sound Effect thingy?) with only 4 buttons on it. It's really short and really wide, not like those little "electronic guitars" you see with the Guitar Hero buttons that plays a tune through a little brass disc in the back. No, it's far worse than that.
So then I see these other Roswell-shaped bullshit items (it's like I went from a Music Store to a roadside Jackson Gift Shop in the blink of an eye), and I'm like "WTF? Where's that damn Roswell?" so I walk back to the front of the store and turn around and look for it, and there it is, right where I saw it before.
So as I walk towards it, I see it's a neck (DK2M-ish in appearance) sitting angularly on a shelf along the far left wall, and some small shit in the foreground on a shelf that when viewed at the right angle "looks" like it makes a gloss black Roswell with a maple boarded neck.
Imagine that, optical illusion.
So I go check out the neck anyway (hey, I can always use a spare one!) and the chick that owns the place is rearranging the various guitar parts on this shelf (about a foot or so wide and maybe 5 feet tall - the shelf, not the chick - she's a bit large )
There's a 2-hum top-mount Floyded (or v-trem?) Charvel Strat body with a B&W bullseye paintjob, and the matching neck. There's also what appears to be a matching pointyhead and Strathead on the next two shelf spaces, but they've got a chunk of fretboard attached to them (about 4 frets worth), and I notice the neck itself is missing about the same amount of board, and the head, and then figure it's gotta be in for a repair, and that's just how they were repairing it - make a new head with that missing fretboard piece already attached
I picked up the neck and the heel is way huge, and looks more like a set neck what with the angle, and the trussrod is missing, so it's just kinda flopping around. It's painted to match the body, but for some reason is wrapped in duct tape. Chick says that's the neck for that body, and I mention that it looks like a set-neck. She says "Oh really?", apparently just being the owener and not really knowing all that much about guitars at least from a construction standpoint.
So the chick takes the pointyhead and dumps it into a black trash bag and says "that's the one it came with", and hands me the bag, and I fish it out and see it's wrapped loosely in duct tape. I push it aside to see if it's got a real Charvel logo, and it does, but on top of it is what looks like a small brass medallion with the words "Erin Kolor" or somesuch stamped deep into it. Kinda hard to read it because it's also covered in a thick clearcoat and the lights are making it hard to read, plus it's stamped really small. The medallion is about an inch long and maybe a half-inch wide, and looks more like just something someone mashed into shape and glued to the head. Brass bubblegum, kinda.
So then chick asks me to make an offer on the rest of the parts to complete the work (I assume, naturally, needed to repair the guitar) and I say "Actually I'd like to make an offer on that Custom Shop King V by the door" to which she replies, "Well, I really can't go any lower than the price that's on the card (which was under the strings, or hanging from the head; ~ $4000+ IIRC) but you do get a 20% discount for the sale we're having."
In the blink of an eye the conversation has shifted so that she's spilling her guts to me about the woes of being a dealer, and i can see her phone sales staff in the background with their terminals and their headsets and they're doing their jobs, and she's going on about a discussion she had with, I guess, her distributor over his high prices, and she said she told him she's going with John Levits (or Lovitz, or Levitz, hard to tell the spelling from hearing the name) because he's got better prices.
And yeah, I keep thinking "John Lovitz the comedian?" as well
So then I woke up going "WTF was that!? I gotta lay off the spices, this shit's keeping me awake"
Whenever I eat something that was prepared with or includes any sort of spice - Worchestershire sauce, A-1 Steak Sauce, BBQ sauce, chili powder, etc - I have wierd dreams. Nothing wet, sadly
Mostly they're akin to parallel universes or just outright bizarre. Like Dr. Seuss meets Rube Goldberg and they redesigned the world
I've just woken up from one where I was in this large Mall. I'm walking around the place and there's a music store, so I go in to see what kind of guitars they have. Generic copies of various stuff as always, including some sort of Gibson Faded V-type thing that upon closer inspection looks more like a very-miniature-bodied Explorer shape (and I mean I had to get RIGHT up on it, like nose-to-nose, yet from 5 feet away it was a roundhorn V with the white pickguard and all).
Then some scrawny little kid is Karate Kidding me; kicking me in the shins and shit. Nothing painful, but fucking annoying. So I grab him by the wrist and twist his arm outward and drag him back to the little seating area/food court-looking spot in front of the store asking "Whose kid is this? Get him away from me with his damn karate shit before he loses an arm!" and his fat-cow Grandmother (who appears to be all of 40) turns to her fat-cow daughter and her equally fat friend at the small table behind her and says to get her son. I shove the little bastard into his granny and ignore their whining and I turn to go back into the store, but for some reason I'm thinking it's further down, so I'm walking.
I end up in some sort of comedy club (still within the mall) and it appears pitch black largely due to the dim lighting in the club vs the bright lights of the main Mall area. There's a stream of people coming in the door behind me, so I have to go forward trying to find an alternate exit. I wind up at the end of a short hallway looking at two glass doors that have been painted black but with the names of the stores painted decoratively in gold, and there's enough unpainted glass left that I can see these are the service entrances to these shops (I was hoping I could just exit the club through either of these doors, but I could just barely make out the sign that read "opening these doors will cause the Fire Alarm to sound" or somesuch, so I had to stand there. I felt slightly out of breath and felt myself leaning to one side and almost falling over, even leaning against the wall. My eyes adjusted to the dark (or the house lights came up a bit, I couldn't really tell) and I saw that the floor was very uneven in that one spot I was standing, which is what was causing me to fall over.
Then around the edge of the hallway I could see it was like a bar or something where lots of people were seated. Maybe it was just that the curtain to the stage had come down between acts or something, I dunno.
So finally I make my way out of there and end up back in the main Mall area, and it's getting closer to closing time (getting dark outside), but there's still plenty of stores open, so I'm walking around still trying to find that one music store.
I pass through a doorway with a crowd of people and to the right I see a dark gray/black combo amp with what looked like red or kinda purplish trim around the speakers and faceplate behind a single-spaced glass door, and I almost pass it but stop in my tracks and go back. I peek through the glass as the lights are off in the store and I see a few guitars on the far wall, and a black Roswell with maple board and ebony fins just beyond some other stuff (shelves and whatnot - it's a pretty big store).
There's light coming in from behind that section from the other stores and how the mall curves around at that point (it appeared all the stores were basically walled with glass), as well as light reflecting in the glass door I'm looking in, so it's really hard to tell what's really up with the Roswell I'm seeing (and it's sitting kind of at a 45 degree angle, not hanging straight up and down, so it's on display).
Then I spot this V-shape right next to the door. It's a B&W Zebra King V with a slightly funky-shaped 3x3 head (not the SLS head, but more squared and flared on the tip). I stand waaaay up on my tippy toes and I see it says "Jackson Custom Shop" on the head, and I'm stoked. It's got what appears to be a birdseye maple board as well, but there's also something funny going on with the body.
For one, the tips are turned forwards, not sideways as normal, so they're wide across the front and thin along the back. As well, when I move to the side to see behind the guitar, there's these rail-type things along the back that start about 2 inches above the tips and go up about 7 or 8 inches and taper off to be even with the body.
At first I turn to some other Metalhead (older guy, or just more roadworn - still got the biker jacket, the long stringy Metalhead hair, and seems to be physically fit) and say "that must be 'hoof tips'.." because they looked slightly like zebra hooves and matched the painjob. He agreed. Kinda.
Some then dude comes up with a ladder and sets it in front of the store, and the small windows along the top are actually openings (about a foot high by 3 feet wide). He's looking at the guitar a bit closer, then reaches through and grabs the guitar and pulls it out!
I'm like, "dude, the cops are going checking the closed stores, do you really think that's wise?" and he plays the guitar for a bit, then hands it to me and says "check it out so I can put it back before the cops find us".
So I'm checking out the guitar and it's got a scalloped board but it's all uneven - some of the frets aren't even there as I'm missing notes (and entire fretwires) and it just really looks like a homemade scallop job. Shit, I coulda done better with a Dremel
So next thing I know the store's open, and I put the guitar back on the wall and go see about this Roswell. It's gone. There's a little plastic toy Roswell-looking electronic gizmo (TV remote? Sound Effect thingy?) with only 4 buttons on it. It's really short and really wide, not like those little "electronic guitars" you see with the Guitar Hero buttons that plays a tune through a little brass disc in the back. No, it's far worse than that.
So then I see these other Roswell-shaped bullshit items (it's like I went from a Music Store to a roadside Jackson Gift Shop in the blink of an eye), and I'm like "WTF? Where's that damn Roswell?" so I walk back to the front of the store and turn around and look for it, and there it is, right where I saw it before.
So as I walk towards it, I see it's a neck (DK2M-ish in appearance) sitting angularly on a shelf along the far left wall, and some small shit in the foreground on a shelf that when viewed at the right angle "looks" like it makes a gloss black Roswell with a maple boarded neck.
Imagine that, optical illusion.
So I go check out the neck anyway (hey, I can always use a spare one!) and the chick that owns the place is rearranging the various guitar parts on this shelf (about a foot or so wide and maybe 5 feet tall - the shelf, not the chick - she's a bit large
)There's a 2-hum top-mount Floyded (or v-trem?) Charvel Strat body with a B&W bullseye paintjob, and the matching neck. There's also what appears to be a matching pointyhead and Strathead on the next two shelf spaces, but they've got a chunk of fretboard attached to them (about 4 frets worth), and I notice the neck itself is missing about the same amount of board, and the head, and then figure it's gotta be in for a repair, and that's just how they were repairing it - make a new head with that missing fretboard piece already attached
I picked up the neck and the heel is way huge, and looks more like a set neck what with the angle, and the trussrod is missing, so it's just kinda flopping around. It's painted to match the body, but for some reason is wrapped in duct tape. Chick says that's the neck for that body, and I mention that it looks like a set-neck. She says "Oh really?", apparently just being the owener and not really knowing all that much about guitars at least from a construction standpoint.
So the chick takes the pointyhead and dumps it into a black trash bag and says "that's the one it came with", and hands me the bag, and I fish it out and see it's wrapped loosely in duct tape. I push it aside to see if it's got a real Charvel logo, and it does, but on top of it is what looks like a small brass medallion with the words "Erin Kolor" or somesuch stamped deep into it. Kinda hard to read it because it's also covered in a thick clearcoat and the lights are making it hard to read, plus it's stamped really small. The medallion is about an inch long and maybe a half-inch wide, and looks more like just something someone mashed into shape and glued to the head. Brass bubblegum, kinda.
So then chick asks me to make an offer on the rest of the parts to complete the work (I assume, naturally, needed to repair the guitar) and I say "Actually I'd like to make an offer on that Custom Shop King V by the door" to which she replies, "Well, I really can't go any lower than the price that's on the card (which was under the strings, or hanging from the head; ~ $4000+ IIRC) but you do get a 20% discount for the sale we're having."
In the blink of an eye the conversation has shifted so that she's spilling her guts to me about the woes of being a dealer, and i can see her phone sales staff in the background with their terminals and their headsets and they're doing their jobs, and she's going on about a discussion she had with, I guess, her distributor over his high prices, and she said she told him she's going with John Levits (or Lovitz, or Levitz, hard to tell the spelling from hearing the name) because he's got better prices.
And yeah, I keep thinking "John Lovitz the comedian?" as well
So then I woke up going "WTF was that!? I gotta lay off the spices, this shit's keeping me awake"
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