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I had a punch-up with some of her relatives in Crete a few years ago*. They didn't like what I was saying about her, because she was on every fucking other video or song in every bar, along with that shitty sub-Sweet Home Alabama song that wasn't Sweet Home Alabama, and that other pile of crap about kissing a girl and liking it.
Well, anyway, we had a difference of opinion, and rather than doing the sensible thing and clanging me there and then, they waited till I went for a piss. Luckily the stairs were narrow, and I'm not afraid to stagger out of a toilet in public, and piss down the stairs, onto my pursuers (who were coming after me in a very loud-comedy fashion, so I knew they were coming. "Let's get him!" "Yeah, he's in the toilet, we'll teach him a lesson" etc etc), everywhere really, including all over me, but there you go. TWO punches later, and we have a winner, in the Yellow corner - RRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrsmacker!
(It was a surprise to me too, I have to confess, I was bricking it)
The bar owner sent for reinforcements, and Mr Plod duly arrived...on a moped. By then, those beastly Winehouses had been ejected, and I got a ticking off - seeing as there were about 6 of them and only one of me, how could I possibly have started it Cuntstubble?
I was outrageously pissed up though, surprise surprise.
* I seem to recall one of them saying she was his daughter, and I may have told him she looked like a fucking horse and she should be shot.
So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
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