Another film fuck-up imminent...

[QuantumRider]

A friend of mine who works in Hollywood told me that movies are a ridiculous industry. His point was in what other industry is it considered a failure if you don't recoup millions of dollars of investment in the first two weekends after a business is launched?

In his opinion, CGI, explosions, etc. are necessary to entice the 14-17 year olds into theaters.

I myself have not been to a movie in a theater since seven years ago, when my wife stated that she would no longer sit next to the only person who is laughing his head off in a dark theater at jokes that do not translate well into Japanese subtitles. No big loss though, I've got a big screen TV and a home theater sound system. Just have to wait until the movie comes out on DVD.

[VitaminG]

I myself have not been to a movie in a theater since seven years ago, when my wife stated that she would no longer sit next to the only person who is laughing his head off in a dark theater at jokes that do not translate well into Japanese subtitles.

I'm sure my wife dreads hearing me laugh out loud at a movie late at night. She'll be bracing herself and wondering if I'm gonna pause the film to run into the bedroom to recount the joke to her.

But then, we watch movies for different reasons. I watch to laugh, cry, learn, escape, marvel, engage with the characters. She watches them as an amusement and a distraction. She didn't like that I pointed out that Avatar was just Pocahontas with blue people. I watch GOOD movies that appeal to me, often grabbing the weird new release at the video store that I've never heard about just because it looks interesting (that's how I found Mongol) and will often go out of my way to avoid the much promoted "must see movie of the year". She watches the same few favourite dvds over and over and will often let them loop through as background noise to playing bejewelled on her phone.

By GODS I'm sick of Big Bang Theory. And now I've introduced her to 30 Rock...

[Flatpicker]

I guess Conan isn't bothering me because of the books.
It's a lot like Batman and James Bond. No one actor is going to stay youthful enough to play out the many stories that these characters are involved in.

So in order to keep the stories going, I'm ok with recasting the lead every so many years. I just wish they didn't reboot every time they do so.

[Flatpicker]

By CROM I'm sick of Big Bang Theory.

Sorry.
It needed to be done in this thread....

[VitaminG]

I guess Conan isn't bothering me because of the books.
It's a lot like Batman and James Bond. No one actor is going to stay youthful enough to play out the many stories that these characters are involved in.

So in order to keep the stories going, I'm ok with recasting the lead every so many years. I just wish they didn't reboot every time they do so.

The big question though: will Clooney have nipples on his chest plate on his turn to play Conan?

[Flatpicker]

The big question though: will Clooney have nipples on his chest plate on his turn to play Conan?

By the time he gets to play Conan, he better.
Big silver dollars hopefully.

[Hellbat]

You have to know how much I despise musicals to understand why I find this so funny...

[Endrik]

Rsmacker if you like historical films with swords then you must watch all Akira Kurosawa samurai films, all master pieces, every single one of them.
"Seven Samurai" of course is the most well known, massive samurai battle there.
"Rashomon" is sort of a samurai crime investigation film, also very famous, little fighting though.
"Yojimbo" plenty of sword action and a clever story, Sergio Leone's first western "A Fistful of Dollars" is a remake of this film, it also had a more humorous follow-up "Sanjuro"
"Throne of Blood" a massive scale samurai film based on Mcbeth, features one of the most evile female characters ever seen on screen.
"The Hidden Fortress" great samurai adventure flick, Star Wars is actually based on it - a sci-fi remake for kids.
"Kagemusha" - Kurosawa's first colour samurai film, pretty epic with large scale battles
"Ran" Kurosawa's last samurai flick, based on King Lear so it's not a family picture, probably the most epic film I've ever seen, amazing cinematography, everything in it is just so massive and incredible, leaves you breathless for days after watching it.

Masaki Kobayashi made great samurai films too ("Samurai Rebellion", "Harakiri") but they are much more serious and less about sword fights.
The best japanese historical films were made by Kenji Mizoguchi, specially "Ugetsu" and "Sansho Dayu" but they are not about samurai (except for "The 47 Ronin"), the samurai usually are just background characters and a bunch of scumbags.
Amazing cinematography, haunting music, eerie mystical feeling etc. But Mizoguchi films are usually an eye-porn for die-hard cinephiles, I'm not sure how casual folks feel about them, I guess someone who loves Fast and Furious would hate every Mizoguchi film.

[Snoogans]

Remake of Total Recall on the way as well. Now why the fuck would they do that? Judge Dredd too. I'm actually quite looking forward to that one...
In answer to Rsmacker, I'm not all that bothered about the new monkey movie. Having watched TV news coverage of the riots, it feels like I've already seen it...

[Snoogans]

However, this Conan trailer may change your mind!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehK2A4Ps7Cc

[Rsmacker]

dude, check out Mongol. It's subtitled, so you're gonna have to read, but it is superb.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0416044/

Just watched 5 mins of that on Youtube, I'm definitely up for some of that, it looks right up my strasse. For the past couple of years I've been absorbing as much as I can about Genghis, and this has prompted my upcoming 2012 motorbike trip to Mongolia. (Yep, I am that stupid to do it alone, and yep, I WILL be looking for sponsors. Watch this space...)

Rsmacker if you like historical films with swords then you must watch all Akira Kurosawa samurai films, all master pieces, every single one of them.

I'll give them a whirl too. It's what's missing from my life, I reckon - twatting someone with a fucking big sword or shooting them full of arrows.
I've avoided Samurai films up until now because they seemd to be just gay danceathons, more about poncing around with flags and all the blokes in blue over here, all the blokes over here in yellow etc etc. I want to see proper violence, not Monkey Magic. (not that there's anything wrong with Monkey, but is it wrong of me to have a real desire to bone Tripitaka the "boy" priest? I can't help it, don't pretend none of you thought it.)

[Rsmacker]

In answer to Rsmacker, I'm not all that bothered about the new monkey movie. Having watched TV news coverage of the riots, it feels like I've already seen it...

You bad man. I was going to say that, but you beat me to it. It certainly made last night's Community Outreach meeting end with a damp fart. I don't think the right-on brigade got it...then again, perhaps they did!

[Rsmacker]

However, this Conan trailer may change your mind!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehK2A4Ps7Cc

No. NO. NOOOOO.

I don't care how good it might be, however much heavy metal they put over it (which is going to sound beyond lame when you try to watch it in 10 years), how much swordfighting is in it. The fact remains that there is already a fucking good film by that name, they should turn some of the other Conan books into film, then I'd have less of a problem with it.

It's like me recording a fantastic new LP called "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band", which has elements of the Beatles record, and expecting people to flock out and buy it. I shouldn't be surprised when vast chunks of the listening public want fuck all to do with it, even if it is actually quite good when you actually give it a spin.

Oh, the emphasis on 3D in this Conan abortion should tell you all you need to know - they'll have spent more time and effort on getting a few flaming boulders to roll towards the viewer than actually making a good film in its own right.

[Endrik]

The appeal of the original Conan flick was the tongue-in-cheek B-flick aesthetics brought from Europe by producer Dino De Laurentiis who was no stranger to all kinds of funny spaghetti westerns and sword & sandal flicks produced in Italy.... and his experiences working on "Barbarella". Without the humour and over the top "un-realistics" I'm not sure what would have been its appeal... just sweaty muscular dudes... women don't dig that... grown up heterosexual males shouldn't either unless they are have thing for sweaty muscular dudes.

[Endrik]

I've avoided Samurai films up until now because they seemd to be just gay danceathons

Funny you mention it as one of the best most recent samurai films called "Gohatto" is about young gay samurai and how all the other samurais have a thing for him... and no it's not a comedy

Usually it depends of the intention of the film-maker how to make the fight scenes, when the flick is more humorous in nature then the fighting will obviously be more like gay dancing. Kurosawa himself went from one side to another, from more comedic samurai fights to bloodier scenes. But he never was very graphic, just some films like "Ran" have this overall devastating feel, if you're familiar with King Lear then you know it can be pretty depressing, in "Ran" all the emotional horror and tragedy is very in your face for two and half hours.