Bored at work joke thread .....

[Jayster]

This 10 year old boy is overcome with diharhea, shiting his brains out. His Mom hears from the next room and offers to get him something, so he tells her to bring him some viagra. Shocked his Mom says WHAT?

And the kid says, isn't that what you give Dad when his shit won't get hard.....

[Ward]

Why do doctors slap newborn babies on the ass?

To knock the dicks off of the stupid ones.

[Ward]

And if that offends a female, you can follow it up with:

Why don't single women fart?

They don't get assholes until they are married.

[Jayster]

Dude: I need a box of condoms
Cashier: Ok, do you want a bag?
Dude: Nah, she's not that ugly....

[RacerX]

A douchebag walks into a seafood restaurant and asks "Do you serve crabs here?"

Hostess: "Oh have a seat, sir, we serve anyone!"

[Endrik]

The worst thing about giving your favourite girl a facial is wiping off the monitor afterwards.

[Endrik]

findafamilymember.com - Alabama's number 1 dating site

[Twitch]

Husband: Alright, whos ready for some sex?
Wife: Not me, I have a headache.
Husband: Well youre in luck. I just powdered my dick with Aspirin, you can take it orally or as a suppository.

[Jayster]

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.

[Jayster]

While attending a marriage seminar Tom & his wife Grace where told, It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes. He started with the husband, Tom can you name your wife's favorite flower? Tom leaned over and gently whispered to Grace " It's Pillsbury, isn't it??

[Twitch]

Whats the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain??

[Endrik]

Went to the new Thai restaurant in town, and it's really weird - there's condom machines in both toilets.

[RacerX]

Husband: Well youre in luck. I just powdered my dick with Aspirin, you can take it orally or as a suppository.

I LOL'd here at work. Co-worker goes "Can you share?" Me: "Ah, no"

[VitaminG]

A guy brings his wife a couple of aspirin and a glass of water.
"Why?" she asks "I don't have a headache"
"Excellent! Wanna fool around?"

[VitaminG]

What is brown and walks upstairs backwards?

A corgi with a hardon