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here's a classic for you-this one kicks ass
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Not helping the situation since 1965! -
Ok, so I just tried to watch an episode of Alf. Damn, 80s TV was corny as hell, I couldnt finish 10 min of it. I remember things a lot differently from back then. Next up, Mr. Belvedere??HTTP 404 - Signature Not FoundComment
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A little boy walks in the bathroom and sees his mother naked. He points to her (thing) and asks ..what's that?! Caught off guard.. she says ..Your father and I got into a fight and he hit me with an axe...
>>>wow mom ..he hit ya right in the cunt!!"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.Comment
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Three blondes walk into a bar........ the fourth one ducksComment
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I call BS, the fourth blonde wouldnt have been that cognitively aware.Originally posted by SOB H.R.MC View Post
A Priest and a Ra-bi walk into a bar, the Ra-bi turns to the Priest and says " Hey, did you hear the one about us?"HTTP 404 - Signature Not FoundComment
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A little boy walks past a Priest and a Ra-bi. The Priest says "Hey, let's fuck him!". The Ra-bi asks "Outta what?"..."Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.Comment
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Two Catholic ministers are doing missionary work in Papua New Guinea when they get caught by a tribe of savages. They tie them up and the tribe's chief goes up to the first minister and says "Choose: death or ooga-booga!". The minister shits himself in terror and says "I don't want to die, i choose ooga-booga!". "Very well" the chief replies. So the minister is untied and taken into a mud hut where tribesmen proceed to rape him repeatedly. The chief then goes to the second minister and says "Choose: death or ooga-booga!". The minister replies defiantly, "Ooga-booga is against my religion, i choose death!". To which the chief replies, "Very well, death by OOGA-BOOGA!".Comment
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Any Irish people here?
Irish helicopter crashes, when asked what happened the pilot said: "it was getting cold so i turned off the fan".
Any Aussies here?
An Aussie, an Italian and a French guy are sitting in a bar talking about sex. The French dude says "when i am feeneeshed wiz my wooman, i lick 'er feet and she rizes three inches from ze bed". The Italian guy says "Thas'a nothing, when i am finished-a with-a my woman-a, i lick her all over her body-a, and she rises three feet from the bed". The Aussie goes "Fair dinkum mates but when i'm finished with my missus, i wipe me dick on the curtain and she hits the fuckin' roof!"Comment
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A Jamaican and a Greek are sitting in a bar talking about sex. The Jamaican dude says "Ey man, once dey go black, dey nevur turn back". The Greek guy replies "Yes but once they go Greek, they can't sit for a week."Comment
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How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
THREE..
Two for the light bulb... and one to suck my dick!"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.Comment
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That reminds me of a Boyd Rice joke from the "The Way I Feel" album:
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Wait :idea:..one for the light bulb, .. and two to suck my dick..
...Yeah!
Ahhhh fuggit..three to suggit in the dark!
"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.Comment
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Ahhh ..Boyd Rice...very nice!!
Hey..why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he was stuck to the chicken...
BTW.. Thanks Tommy..I'll be renting Boondock Saints tonight. Never seen it!!
"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.Comment
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Mr. 666, youre really pushing me to tell one so tasteless and wrong that NO ONE will laugh at it. Its definitely for shock value, since were starting to get tasteless here. Dont know if I have the balls to tell it, and I probably wont, but it has crossed my mind.Originally posted by horns666 View PostHTTP 404 - Signature Not FoundComment
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