Bored at work joke thread .....

[SOB H.R.MC]

Ahhh ..Boyd Rice...very nice!!

Hey..why did the pervert cross the road?


Because he was stuck to the chicken...

BTW.. Thanks Tommy..I'll be renting Boondock Saints tonight. Never seen it!!

GREAT MOVIE there is a sequel but I cant rember the title

[RacerX]

Two Catholic ministers are doing missionary work in Papua New Guinea when they get caught by a tribe of savages. They tie them up and the tribe's chief goes up to the first minister and says "Choose: death or ooga-booga!".

Reminds me of

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rvFTL6qOvfg

[horns666]

Twitch!!! I KNOW what it is!!!! It's gotta be ...

What's the worst thing about eating bald pussy?

Putting the diaper back on..



***I know that was WRONG..but, that's the point !

Some of these will seem a bit off color, but we didn't make these up. They were etched on the walls of caves..by the anunukki..bukkake..or some ancient shit.

[Twitch]

No, actually, it was: What do you do when youre in the shower with a 8 year old boy? Slick his hair back and make him look 6.

[horns666]

No, actually, it was: What do you do when youre in the shower with a 8 year old boy? Slick his hair back and make him look 6.

OOOOOHHHHH. Ohhh my goodness ..that was terribly wrong!!!

I'll tell my mom later!!!

No , really..she's silly.

[RacerX]

GREAT MOVIE there is a sequel but I cant rember the title

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1300851/

[atomic charvel guy]

Ahhh ..Boyd Rice...very nice!!

Hey..why did the pervert cross the road?


Because he was stuck to the chicken...

BTW.. Thanks Tommy..I'll be renting Boondock Saints tonight. Never seen it!!

huhhhh!!! you've never seen the Saints? Fucking 3 run homer to deep left field. kicks a lot of tail .

[Twitch]

OOOOOHHHHH. Ohhh my goodness ..that was terribly wrong!!!

I'll tell my mom later!!!

No , really..she's silly.

That one came third party from a retired police officer.

[horns666]

Tommy!

I know right!!!...how in the fuck did that happen? I mean I just became addicted to The Big Lebowski a few years ago. But this is good Tommy. I ALWAYS searchin' high and low for FUNNY shit to watch. These newer comedies are kinda lame. Hall Pass...Your Highness..ehhhh. Although I did love Step Brothers..Due Date..Walk Hard..the Clerks ..40 year old..Superbad..and the standards.. Up in Smoke..the Fridays..Johnny Dangerously..Orgazmo Old School..Somethin 'Bout Mary....Fock the Fockin' Fockers (third was horrible) ect.

Laughter..is the best medicine. Sex is too. But, if you can laugh during sex like I always do..that's a win / win!

[horns666]

That one came third party from a retired police officer.

These are facts!

They're the sickest bastards...ever!!

[Jayster]

A little boy walks past a Priest and a Ra-bi. The Priest says "Hey, let's fuck him!". The Ra-bi asks "Outta what?"...

That was fucking funny


A woman had just given birth to her twelfth baby when her doctor says,
"You've just had your twelfth baby Miss. What are you going to name this one?"

"Joe"

"But you named the last eleven Joe"

"Yeah its great. I say Joe go clean the room, they all go clean their room. I say Joe come for dinner, they all come for dinner."

"But what if you only want one of them?"

"Oh! Then I call them by their last name."

[Jayster]

A man decided to have a face lift for his birthday. He spends 4,000 grand and feels really good about the result. On his way home he stops at a newsstand, buys a paper and says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 34," was the reply.
"I'm actually 46," says the man happily.

About a while later he went for lunch to McDonald's and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'm guessing that you're about 30?"
"Nope, I am actually 46." He's starting to feel really good about himself.

While standing at the bus stop he asks an old woman the same question.
She replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is poor. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a man's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your p*nis for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one else around the man thought what the hell and let her slip her hand down his pants.
Ten minutes later the old lady says, "OK, it's done. I know you're 46"
Stunned, the man says, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"
The old lady replies, "I was behind you at McDonald's".

[Jayster]

Q: Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive?
A: Because she was a woman....

[Devotee]

A woman crosses the street and gets hit by a bus and dies. She floats up to the pearly gates and is ushered in by St. Peter to God's office. God says to the woman, "I'm terribly sorry but there's been a horrible mix-up in our computer database, you still had another 40 years to go, so we'll have to send you back down to Earth". The woman reappears on the side of the road and thinks to herself "Since i have another 40 years to go, i might as well find myself a decent man". So the woman visits several plastic surgeons and gets a boobjob, facelift, buttock implants, the works. As she's crossing the street from her last appointment she gets hit by a bus and dies. She floats up to heaven again and storms into God's office livid and exclaims, "You told me i had another 40 years to go! Why didn't you do anything to save me?!" to which God replies "Oh shit, i didn't recognise you".

Adolf Hilter dies and goes to heaven and finds Jesus at the pearly gates and asks if he can come in. Jesus says: "I can't let you in! You're responsible for the death of millions during the second world war!". Hitler offers Jesus the highest honour in all of Germany in return for entrance to heaven: the Iron Cross. Jesus says "Hmmm... Ok, let me go and ask my dad and i'll get back to you on that". Jesus walks into God's office and says "Hey dad, Adolf Hitler's here and he want's to come in". God replies, "You can't let him in! He's responsible for the death of millions during the second world war!". Jesus says, "Yeah but he offered to give me the Iron Cross if i let him in" to which God replies, "You stupid idiot, you couldn't even carry a wooden one, now you want an iron one?"

[Scooter]

Where is an elephants sex organ?
On its feet, if it steps on you, you're fucked.