A Word of Bathroom Advice

[Twitch]

My god. Sometimes, youve just got to drop a deuce. Theres no debating it, no sleeping on it, no mulling it over in your head, theres no wondering if its indeed just gas and will move on. There just isnt time. If you decide to ponder it, the next thing youll be at odds about will be throwing away a pair of underwear and taking a flaming hot shower.

They just sneak up on you sometimes. You could already be in the bathroom admiring your sexy face in the mirror and BAM, and though that commode is only inches away, it aint close enough.

Thought it was good advice. Im sure Ill get no thanks for sharing.

P.S. I learned long ago not to debate it and just get it done. The advice just cropped up in the old noodle during my last visit to the shitter. You know, what would happen if kind of deal. It is amazing sometimes though that youll be ok one second and on the verge of melt down the next.

[Axewielder]

The "crisis" is all in your head. I stand in line behind people at Walmart who clearly have shit themselves recently, and they don't seem to be even slightly upset over it. :think:

[Twitch]

Well, thats because youre in WalMart, or I guess in this case Wal*Shart.

[RacerX]

http://www.google.com/search?q=pooping+at+work&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a

[VitaminG]

I'm not sure what the advice is? That if you feel the pressure build, don't hold off - take care of business right away? But then your line about admiring yourself in the mirror and the porcelain still ain't close enough confused me. Are you advocating shitting your pants?

[Twitch]

No, I was saying that sometimes it comes on so quick and so strong, that the toilet, even though its right next to you, seems a mile away.

[TKEblue]

It seems like it only ever comes on like that at the worst possible times. Last week I was working in an attic and had my tools strung out everywhere and it hit me. Im at someones house, a customer mind you. I just left my tools jumped in my truck and sped home as fast as I could. I came back and said "sorry, an emergency came up" then went back to work. Lol

Im dreading the day that it happens when im crawling under a house or something

[horns666]

I had to take a tox screen at my doc's office, and I already took my morning pee. I kept forcin' and tryin' to pee..and..well he got a fuggin' sample alright.

...fuggums..

[tonemonster]

I got a buddy that is like this, I swear he has irritable bowel syndrome or whatever its called. it will strike him at the most inopportune times. his stories are hilarious. he and his wife and kids & dog taking a walk down the street in town, and boom, the caca cramps hit. he breaks into a sweat and like a green beret ninja starts to asses his tactical situtation and options. he then darts to a small stand of trees and bushes in someones yard, squats down and takes care of biz. all the while cars going by while he tries to pretend he is a gardener trimming the shrubs. his wife to embarrased she and the family keep walking.

When I took him for an airplane ride one day, he took immodium AD all day so he wouldnt have to shit while in the plane.

[Scooter]

Mudslides suck.

My family has started referring to the cramps as a 'disturbance in the Force!'

[RacerX]

like a green beret ninja starts to asses his tactical situtation and options.

BWAHAHAHAHA!

[shreddermon]

Things to remember, as you start to get older: never pass up a bathroom, never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart. :P