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Best/funniest/smart ass posts collection ~ add your favorites !!!!!!!!!

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  • #1

    Best/funniest/smart ass posts collection ~ add your favorites !!!!!!!!!

    It seems like this thread is long overdue, we as a collective community have some witty and sarcastic members with a great sense for the turn of a phrase. So I feel that we should have a tribute thread to the posts that have made you spit beer on your monitor, laugh your ass off, etc....

    The potential is great......


    This idea was inspired today by DG, So here is my first submission.(I'll have to do some searching for the other 2 that I believe belong in here.)









    Originally posted by dg View Post
    Just remember that sustain is inversely proportional to blues rock chatter. Also, if you go with the brass big block, you might want a warmer wood like koa or African ribbon mahogany for blocking the trem. I usually go with the tungsten block, cocobolo to block the trem, and titanium saddles (except for Graphtecs on the G & B, of course). It's a bit of a compromise, but it's the only combo I've found that yields tight low end, passable double-stop bends, and the ability to pull off the shrill "meow" lead lines from Cat Scratch Fever, which is a must for me.
    Enjoying a rum and coke, just didn't have any coke...
    Tags: None
  • #2
    About Justin Bieber .....

    Originally posted by catzodellamarina View Post
    +1
    I heard this boy has or will write his Memoirs. WTF??? Isn't he 15 or so? He must be writing a comic book. I can't imagine reading chapter after chapter of his "adventures" as a popstar. What could possibly be soooo penworthy in this book? Hmm.. I have some ideas:
    Chapter 3 - My all night Xbox binge
    Chapter 7 - Drinking milkshakes until I puked
    Chapter 8 - The Throwdown: Shirts off in the parking lot of Chuck-E-Cheese
    Chapter 10 - Fingerbanging 2 girls + 1 night = I RULE!
    Enjoying a rum and coke, just didn't have any coke...

    Comment

    • #3
      Ummm.. I'm going with any random thing I post..

      It's my only duty here on the good 'ol JCF, and in real life. Take nothing seriously, and never lose you sense of humor. Sometimes its all we have.

      If I lost my well groomed sack in a kinife fight..I would laugh my ass off...fuggums.

      Sure I cry..but then I laugh. Sometimes I laugh at myself for cryin'.
      "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
      Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

      "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

      Comment

      • #4
        See my sig.
        Member - National Sarcasm Society

        "Oh, sure. Like we need your support."

        Comment

        • #5
          Oh that's cute..silly cute. It's nice!

          Not crazy, hilarious fuggums. There's only one tru mental patient that flows with abstract, lovley thought patterns and words. Well some maybe..but me mostly..so fuggums.

          I mean I could make Buckethead rip off his mask and blow me..that's what I think! I would put a glory hole in that fuggin' bucket and fuck his chicken. I used to fuck chickens..that was a weird quirk. But I don't do that anymore. I miss it tho!
          "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
          Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

          "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

          Comment

          • #6
            oops..this may get deleted. Pretty sensitive noobs on the panel. To the admins. I love you, always did ..always will.

            Maybe I should do this in the Platinum section. But only if people will follow me there. I can be myself there..not so much here anymore.

            I mean my sister..my mom can Google me..and maybe see this shit. Like, Fucking the vase (VOZ) when I was a kid. My poor mom. That could be like rippin' a scab off a deep scar!!
            "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
            Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

            "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

            Comment

            • #7
              Originally posted by horns666 View Post
              I would put a glory hole in that fuggin' bucket and fuck his chicken.

              There ya go, kids! Protect your chicken from Bill!

              Comment

              • #8
                Originally posted by Evol View Post
                There ya go, kids! Protect your chicken from Bill!
                They're easy!! Ya grab 'em..fuggums until they squirm, goo ensues...ya got dinner!

                Q: Why did I cross the road?

                A: Because I was stuck to the chicken!
                "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                Comment

                • #9
                  Powertube, you had a great post 'somewhere' in a previous thread that I can't remember where or what the 'original' topic was..... but had something to the effect of waving the middle finger at the UN boat as it left our shores for good.

                  VitaminG had a great post(again somewhere long forgotten).....kinda like - if you've heard of this guitarist, I no longer like him. If you've heard of this band, I no longer like them, etc....

                  BillyZ your countless contributions could also be immortalized, chicken fucking, nut shaving, aunt flo waving, etc...




                  Seemed like a good idea earlier, but as I'm rounding the corner on 12-18 beers...... Fuggems
                  Enjoying a rum and coke, just didn't have any coke...

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Thanks Jay...I'll do the best I can!

                    For you...


                    I want to teabag each and every one of you ..from the bottom of my heart!
                    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      I hear a green tea bag is healthiest
                      Jackson KV2
                      Jackson KE1T
                      Jackson KE1F
                      Jackson SL1

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        "toaster amp"
                        "POOP"

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          I'll have to go digging some actual quotable quotes some time, but here's a couple of choice moments that spring to mind:

                          BillZ, nicking the seam, and the Dark Marsupial.
                          PowerTube's FX pedal pics, particularly the chain of Metalzones and the Talent Booster, both of which have become internet staples.
                          sully's nut noose & SPAM tshirt.

                          I wish my shitty memory could recall up more. Tommy & Endrik & RSmacker & so many others warrant mention. There are some seriously funny fuckers around here and I have wasted too much time trying to explain to my wife what the hell I am busting a gut laughing at while surfing the JCF.
                          Hail yesterday

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Originally posted by toejam View Post
                            Wow. See kids, this is why siblings should not fuck...
                            classic.
                            "clean sounds are for pussies" - Axewielder

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Originally posted by horns666 View Post
                              They're easy!! Ya grab 'em..fuggums until they squirm, goo ensues...ya got dinner!

                              Q: Why did I cross the road?

                              A: Because I was stuck to the chicken!
                              But everytime you eat eggs you'd have to wonder if it's your children that you're eating.
                              Don't forget the corn. It's nutritious, delicious, and ribbed for her pleasure.

                              Comment

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