I am an evil bastard and there is a special place in Hell for me!

[Rsmacker]

I've been there...

So have I, many many times...<sob>

Lousiffer, you are a bad bad man.
But then again, maybe not, you treated Kelli like any other ordinary girl, which of course she is, just one with a mobility problem. For that you deserve praise, and also for telling her straight that you weren't going to leave the erm, Sasquatch, you can't be accused of leading her on. You ought to be careful about getting fanny batter on seats though, trust me on that one.

You ought to trade the Sasquatch in for a Call Centre Bitch Gimp, like wot I got. I'll never ever cheat on my Wilksy Baby, what we have is special.

[Jayster]

Lousiffer, you are a bad bad man.
But then again, maybe not, you treated Kelli like any other ordinary girl, which of course she is, just one with a mobility problem.

I believe that's the most human thing I've read that you have posted .....

I'm still trying to visualize how this young lady could play a classical guitar in a wheelie? I'm guessing in somewhat of a traditional classical position using the arms of the chair???

[tonemonster]

I'm still trying to visualize how this young lady could play a classical guitar in a wheelie? I'm guessing in somewhat of a traditional classical position using the arms of the chair???

I am still visualizing her backwards on her chair slapping her swollen pussy.

[GuerillaPete]

Thanks Lou! Made my lunch break go by so nicely. Keep up the dirty work.

[tonemonster]

any new chapters, Lou?

[Special-K]

Best fucking thread EVER!!!
I wanted to go to sleep about 1.5 hours ago (it is currently 2.15AM here), but hell.. I just couldn't stop reading!

Keep up the good work Lou!

[Alvin_Wilson]

Cobwebs are beginning to form in this thread.................

[nateb]

Then she rolls over and just when the house stopped shaking, lets this big fucking fart.

OK... I about shit myself when I read that.

[LouSiffer]

I will try to get you an update in the next couple days. Trying to get this new job and planning my little girls birthday party for this week.-Lou

[veemagic]

Something tells me this one will be worth the wait!

[GuerillaPete]

Knowing Lou's track record, if they hire a female clown for the birtday party, he may bang her!

[emperor_black]

Lou's new nickname is 'Sir bangs-a-lot'.

[Special-K]

Can't wait that he continues!

[tonemonster]

Lou's new nickname is 'Sir bangs-a-lot'.

well played.

[LouSiffer]

( continued....)

Hopefully, you will notice there are less spelling and grammatical errors in my post as I have finally gotten internet back and have my computer.

I realize I am a sex-a-holic. The only difference between me and Tiger Woods, besides the money, the fame, the body, the looks and the golf game is that I am OKAY with it. Just give me pussy. Lots of it. Thats it. Simple solution.......right?

I am hanging out with my friend and his girlfriend one night. We were all shit faced as usual. We will call them Tom and Mandy ....thats not their names, but, I am trying to eliminate any small chance someone would stumble upon this thread. For the last 2 years or so, I have heard these bitching about the other to me:

Tom: All she wants to do is fuck. Man I hate that shit. I dont care if I ever have sex again.

Mandy: I havent been laid in 6 or 7 months. I put the moves on him and he doesnt react. As soon as he is alone, he jerks off. I catch him jerking off all the time. I even offered to have a 3 way with him and another girl. He wouldnt do it.

Me to Tom: Dude, you get no sympathy from me. My wife didnt put out.....except to her ex boyfriend. I could have sex several times a day.

Me to Mandy: Sorry to here that. I know how you feel...trust me. Cant believe he turned down a 3 way/ What the fuck is wrong with him?!

Me to Mandy after a night of drinking: I can fix your problem for you....and your friend's, too!! You kep it on the down low and so can I.

Mandy after 8th Jaeger-Bomb: Sounds good. I have always wanted to fuck you.

Here is some background on these two. They had been dating since they were in high school. It was always off and on. The last time they broke up, I knocked Tom on his ass because he backhanded her across the face. Okay, I did more that knock him on his ass. He now wears a partial plate as I knocked his top four front teeth out. I have been dirtied by women in the past, but, I have never hit a woman and I will not stand to see it done. It sends me into a rage as my father used to get drunk and come home and throttle my mother and sometimes me.

Tom hasn't held a job for more than a few weeks at a time. He gets some sort of trust Its not much money......probably about the equivalent little more than minimum wage. It was never my business to ask. He is happy as shit just sitting at home watching the Outdoor Channel and fishing.

Mandy is a true Irish girl. She is full of love and compassion, but, she can drink and talk like a sailor. She doesn't hesitate to tell you what she thinks and is a no bullshit kinda person. Kinda like me, but, with tits.......and a pussy. Orange-ish red hair, full boobies, just a smidge of a belly and a bubble butt. She has 2 kids where she was married to some guy when she was on a long hiatus from Tom. Her older child has caused us some controversy. He looks, walks, acts and has the same gift towards electronics and mechanics as I do. I really do not remember fucking her around the time he would have been conveived and was pretty sure I hadnt fucked her up until this point......but, I am starting to have doubts myself.

This brings me to my next personal issue. I tried........I honestly tried to count up my sexual partners. I really can't. There were so many faces and places. It is easily in multiple hundreds. I remember many less names than I do faces...and there are many faces I have forgotten. I have no clue as to how I have never even caught crabs let alone only have 3 kids. I have been tested and have a perfectly clean bill of health. I probably only used protection 30% of the time. I have been lucky and I know it. I think deep down I was trying to catch up to Gene Simmons. Say what you want about him.....that man has had some poon in his life.....high quality stuff , too!. Mine was not always high quality.....it was just a place to stick my dick.

I am not a great looking guy.....average at best......over weight.....average income job.....and a slightly bigger than average pud. The only thing I can put my finger on is that I listen. I sort of listen. What happens is these women talk and I stare at them thinking: " I want to fuck you ". Now, either I have Jedi mind powers or they think I care. Its neither one I can assure you. I think they see me as a harmless person. I dunno.

Now this sounds like a well thought out plan to this point, but, it wasnt. The issue is that we got the " Who " figured out.....its the " Where " thats the problem. The issue is, the aunt is living with us, when she is gone, the MIL is sneaking down to get some action and Tom is always at their place.



( ...continued )