Tweet
( continued )
I am going to take you guys back in time a little further this time. About 22 years ago. The reason is to show that my penis has been the cause of my funnest and funniest moments as well as my most questionable moments. It is much like a double edged sword. . . . well, its not really big enough to be a sword. Its more like a pocket knife. A decent sized pocket knife.
It is 1988, my junior year in high school. Still rocking out to Appetite for Destruction, Hysteria, And Justice for All, Peace Sells, etc. My high school girlfriend was somewhat of an odd hottie. She had natural blonde hair on her head ,but, she had black hair everywhere else. The other girls of the time were either built like a toothpick or like a tree trunk. . . . at least thats the way most girls were built when I was in school. My girlfriend had some nice big boobs a small waist and nice hips. She could rock a thong. She had abs from working out playing basketball and I was in good shape from skateboarding, biking and playing football.
We used to meet out behind this lake and make out. One Saturday afternoon, I pulled into a gas station and went inside to pay for gas. As I was standing there in line, the sun was shining directly down onto this rack of stuff for sale at the counter. The one thing that grabbed my attention was the Glow Worm glow in the dark condom. Now I am a Star Wars fan, so you can imagine what was going through my mind. I had to buy one, the Godz showed me the way with their beam of light.
Later that evening, the girl and I meet out at the lake and wait unt its dark. Drinking some Mad Dog 20/20 and smoking some weed. We get into the car and get to business. I pull the glow in the dark condom out and read the instructions. You have to hold it in light first. My dome light doesnt work so I turn on the headlights and hold it in front of them for a minute or so. . . . with no pants on. I get back in the car and put this rubber on and its like a lightsaber flopping around.
After about 5 minutes of fucking with this rubber on, I realize 2 things. . . . 1: Rubbers fucking suck and 2: I just set a personal best for time. Keep in mind, what makes these rubbers glow is not the rubber, its the gel inside them. I pull this rubber off and toss it out the window and go back to fucking. She asks me to eat the muff. I slide down into the floorboard of the car and realized that the gel that was in that condom stayed on my dick. . . . . and is now in her. I am staring at the worlds first glow in the dark pussy. There is no way I can do this. I have seen The Toxic Avenger ,but, this is crazy.
We go home and she calls me the next morning. She is not happy.
HER: My dad checked up on me last night. He stuck his head in my room and seen my clothes on the floor and noticed the crotch of my underwear was glowing in the dark. Do you know how embarrassing it is to explain to your parents why the crotch of tour underwear glow at 3AM?!?
ME: No where near as embarrassing as walking into your house at 3 AM and having to explain to your parents why face is glowing in the dark, I can guarantee you that damned much!!
( continued )
I am going to take you guys back in time a little further this time. About 22 years ago. The reason is to show that my penis has been the cause of my funnest and funniest moments as well as my most questionable moments. It is much like a double edged sword. . . . well, its not really big enough to be a sword. Its more like a pocket knife. A decent sized pocket knife.
It is 1988, my junior year in high school. Still rocking out to Appetite for Destruction, Hysteria, And Justice for All, Peace Sells, etc. My high school girlfriend was somewhat of an odd hottie. She had natural blonde hair on her head ,but, she had black hair everywhere else. The other girls of the time were either built like a toothpick or like a tree trunk. . . . at least thats the way most girls were built when I was in school. My girlfriend had some nice big boobs a small waist and nice hips. She could rock a thong. She had abs from working out playing basketball and I was in good shape from skateboarding, biking and playing football.
We used to meet out behind this lake and make out. One Saturday afternoon, I pulled into a gas station and went inside to pay for gas. As I was standing there in line, the sun was shining directly down onto this rack of stuff for sale at the counter. The one thing that grabbed my attention was the Glow Worm glow in the dark condom. Now I am a Star Wars fan, so you can imagine what was going through my mind. I had to buy one, the Godz showed me the way with their beam of light.
Later that evening, the girl and I meet out at the lake and wait unt its dark. Drinking some Mad Dog 20/20 and smoking some weed. We get into the car and get to business. I pull the glow in the dark condom out and read the instructions. You have to hold it in light first. My dome light doesnt work so I turn on the headlights and hold it in front of them for a minute or so. . . . with no pants on. I get back in the car and put this rubber on and its like a lightsaber flopping around.
After about 5 minutes of fucking with this rubber on, I realize 2 things. . . . 1: Rubbers fucking suck and 2: I just set a personal best for time. Keep in mind, what makes these rubbers glow is not the rubber, its the gel inside them. I pull this rubber off and toss it out the window and go back to fucking. She asks me to eat the muff. I slide down into the floorboard of the car and realized that the gel that was in that condom stayed on my dick. . . . . and is now in her. I am staring at the worlds first glow in the dark pussy. There is no way I can do this. I have seen The Toxic Avenger ,but, this is crazy.
We go home and she calls me the next morning. She is not happy.
HER: My dad checked up on me last night. He stuck his head in my room and seen my clothes on the floor and noticed the crotch of my underwear was glowing in the dark. Do you know how embarrassing it is to explain to your parents why the crotch of tour underwear glow at 3AM?!?
ME: No where near as embarrassing as walking into your house at 3 AM and having to explain to your parents why face is glowing in the dark, I can guarantee you that damned much!!
( continued )
Comment