I am an evil bastard and there is a special place in Hell for me!

[Razor]

I'll cut him some slack. He probably has a lot of relatives to plow over the holiday

Laughing my fuckin ass off. I wonder is Lou is expecting any fowl play for Thanksgiving dinner???

As Don and Alvin stated, I check this thread every day for the newest installement.

[emperor_black]

Laughing my fuckin ass off. I wonder is Lou is expecting any fowl play for Thanksgiving dinner???

As Don and Alvin stated, I check this thread every day for the newest installement.

I have a Robot that's hitting F5 every 5 secs and emails me the newest Lou's post. Now wouldn't that be nice?

[RacerX]

...until you come home one day to find out the robot has totally fallen for Lou and is spreadeagled & frosted on the bathroom floor with a margarita in her hand!

[tcwil8]

...until you come home one day to find out the robot has totally fallen for Lou and is spreadeagled & frosted on the bathroom floor with a margarita in her hand!

^^^This
I nominate for one of the greatest threads ever. Thank you for sharing Lou!

[tonemonster]

Yea, billz has a point. just to be on the safe side, I am not drinking ANY fucking marguirtas period! you never know, I could end up in a barn and pile of fuckin hay bales with my pants around my ankles with my cousin.

[jacksoncsplayer]

This is fuckin classic!

[LouSiffer]

( continued )

The mother of my two older children was a freak!! This is why we hit it off so well from the beginning. She was 4'11" tall and had EE sized natural titties. She was only 19 at the time and I think I was 27. There wasnt nothing this chick wouldnt do in bed. She started rooming with friend of hers. Her friend was a 19 year old virgin. Her friend started dating a friend of mine. He had no interest until he found out she was a virgin.

My GF and I was constantly fucking in front of her. She would just pull my cock out and start blowing me while her friend was sitting there. It got to where her friend would unbutton her pants and play with herself watching us have sex. My GF was constantly trying to get her into a 3 was with us. She said she was saving herself for my friend. The only problem was, my friend is a fucking idiot. He would lay in bed and jerk off rather than put moves on her. Seriously, a fucking idiot. She complained that she was ready for it ,but, he wouldnt go for it. A total fucking moron.

One day, the GF and I start fucking in front of her. I have her on the kitchen table eating her out and her friend walks over. As I am giving her crotch some tongue action, her friend cuts in and starts munching her twat. She was hooked right away. She loved the taste of another woman. I go up and start mouth boning the GF as I didnt want to startle the girl by putting the moves on her. I figured it was best to let her ease in on her own. She moves up from the GFs twat and starts nobbing me.

We move into the bedroom and the three of us are kissing, fondling and undressing each other. Virgin girl lays down and my GF starts kissing her and sucking on her tits. I go down and and introduce my tongue to her split. She got ot from clit to sphinctyr. My GF gets on top of her and I go into my GF. My GF is a quick comer when she is wound up right. Her orgasms get so intense sometimes she loses her breath and can not be touched on her twat afterwards as it is a sensory overload. At this point, fucking her is done for about 10-15 minutes and I get on my back as she usually blows me until she is back to normal. Virgin immediately jumps on top of my stomach and starts rubbing her gap all over my wang. She looks at my GF and says " I need your help with this part ". The GF slobbers all over my knob and holds it to help her friend line it up.

She goes down real slow and I could see the discomfort in her face. She was determined to get this done. The GF kept telling her what to do to help make it easier. Within a few minute, she was broken and enjoying it. The GF tells her that when I am about to come, she needs to get off because I come alot. I have been known to hit ceilings laying flat on a bed. The girl is riding me and starts to get off. Her gash had a spasm and tightened up which made me want to get off. . . . and I did. I gave her plenty of warning ,but, she wouldnt move. You guys know that once it starts, there is no stopping or turning back. I just let it go. My GF is upset and is giving her the stink eye as she figures she is going to get pregnant. The friend said she couldnt help it, she wanted to see what it felt like and then looks at us and says she is in love with both of us and wanted us all to be in a relationship together. The GF thought this was a great idea. So did I. Now they are GF1 and GF2. GF2 gets up off me and GF1 has her sit on her face so she can get the drainage. This was probably the best 7 months of my life!!!

I would come home and these two would be going at it waiting for me. They had all the toys out and ready and made me feel special when I arrived. These 2 girls loved jizz play. I was really digging GF2 as I found out she was a squirter when you did her right. People around this small town would look at us weird when they seen us all three hugging and kissing each other. This old couple scorned us one day. They told us what we were doing was sinful and we would have to answer for it. Typical small town mentality. GF1 fired right back and said it was Gods fault for lwtting the women out number the men 4 to 1 on the planet ,therfor, he has alot of explaining to do. The old couple about shit.

This went on great like I said for about 7 months. GF1 quit taking her birth control on purpose amd obviously didnt tell me. GF2 notices this and she decides to do this as well. Again, without telling me. GF1 notices this and they get into it. GF2 said she thought it would be a good idea if they tried to get knocked up at the same time and see if the babies would be born on the same day. GF1 thought she maintained soul rights over me as we were together first. GF2 felt she did as I busted her cherry. They get into a fight and GF2 decides to split for a bit. I have no clue any of this going down at the time. Evidently, a few of the women in my life did not feel it was necessary to bring me in on these types of decisions. Dirty fucking whores.

GF1 tells me GF 2 went to go spend time with a sick family member. We are bopping each others brains outt as usual. I run into GF2 in our apartment packing a few things. We bop. The 2 girls get in a fight a few weeks later. GF1 says she is pregnant. I shit myself right there. I never wanted kids. GF2 says she is too. I am a broken down shell of a man at this point. I find out GF 2 was lying, thabkfully. Unfortunately, GF1 was telling the truth.

( continued )

[Rsmacker]

You, my friend, need to stick to bumming Call Centre Bitch Warriors, they are far less hassle. If you get any grief, you threaten to tell their Mummy that they smoke, that always shuts him, um, them, up. Plus you can just pop their ball-gag in, zip up the hood, and problem solved.

[tonemonster]

I wonder whom Lou is sinking his meat into today? If the fam is all together, it could be a GOOD day for the Lou. you got to give us the scoop louman.

[Tekky]

The one thing that grabbed my attention was the Glow Worm glow in the dark condom. Now I am a Star Wars fan, so you can imagine what was going through my mind. I had to buy one, the Godz showed me the way with their beam of light.

Later that evening, the girl and I meet out at the lake and wait unt its dark. Drinking some Mad Dog 20/20 and smoking some weed. We get into the car and get to business. I pull the glow in the dark condom out and read the instructions. You have to hold it in light first. My dome light doesnt work so I turn on the headlights and hold it in front of them for a minute or so. . . . with no pants on. I get back in the car and put this rubber on and its like a lightsaber flopping around.

If you get a chance, rent a movie by the name of Skin Deep. It stars John Ritter (Jack Tripper from Three's Company), once you see it, you'll know why I referenced it.

[Alvin_Wilson]

For fucks sake, man! I hope you're ok and the FIL didn't stuff you in the fucking turkey. Hurry back to your glorious thread soon.

[tonemonster]

I hope Lou stops in for the next installment of the story soon.

[jacksoncsplayer]

I wonder if he fucked the turkey too?

[tonemonster]

I wonder if he fucked the turkey too?

that all depends on if RSmacker was there for dinner.

[LouSiffer]

( continued )

The Continuing saga of GF1.

This girl was kinky and I loved it!! One of her favorite things was for me to hold her done and butt fuck her while she tried to fight to get away. She had a safe word ,but, she never used it. Once she started to get pretty well into her pregnancy, we tamed alot of stuff down. Then she had an idea. She decided to call a friend of hers over and see if she would let me fuck her while she watched. The friend eventually decided to do it. GF1 would just sit there and watch me pound her friend into oblivion. These were good times.

After my baby is born, GF1 went into super freak mode. I didnt think she could go an farther, but, she proved me wrong. She went from liking to be spanked to a full on flogging. I did it once for her, and it pissed her off. Not because I was getting too rough. It was because I wasnt getting rough enough. She went crazy buying all these torture tools. And she loved Type O Negative. I thought I was in love with her. She loved pain induction during sex. I was liking it, too. We even found out that a low level stun gun was quite fun when you had an orgasm. She was starting to get into wiccan and shit. She thought she was a decendant of this chick that was known for her sexual divinity. Me personally, I dont believe in God, gods, ghosts, ghouls,spectres, witches, warlocks, etc. I dont care if someone else does, that is their choice.

However, with her new found lineage into the occult or whatever the hell it was, the crazy bitch literally started acting like my dick was hers. She would put on a strap on and get dressed and have this huge dong coming down her leg, kinda like the lead singers in 70s rock bands with those crush velvet pants. She had this girl come over and she would just bend her over the couch and pull out the strap on like a real cock and do her. She was convinced, after a night of candle burning, praying to the winds and sacrificing a chicken and calling it dinner, that she was supposed to be a hermaphrodite. The bitch just " Nuked the Fridge ". . . .or she " Jumped the shark " if you havent watched The Crystal Skulls.

Even though the bitch went over the edge, sex was still fun. I was fucking her friends and her. We were shocking the shit out of each other with the taser and slapping and hurting each other into orgamsic bliss. This went on for a while unt we found out she was pregnant again. She quit taking her pills. I hate rubbers. I hate spending money on getting snipped as that would pay for a decent guitar or tube amp head. In hindsight, I wish I would have gotten snipped when I turned 18. She had one friend that came over as a regular. She was built nice and was a very sweet girl. My GF was in love with her. They always talked about how they wish my GF could impregnant her. Odd thinking, but, I never heard girls talk like this and it was kinky. . . .and I liked it.

The GF has this great idea that I should let her hold my hips while I fuck her friend and she can act like its her. Her goal was to have me pregnate her friend , but, in some weird logic, she was the one doing it. I wasnt up for it. I got one kid I didnt want and one on the way, I did not want another for fucks sake. A few days after this, we are all laying around in bed. The GF blows me and I nut in her mouth. As I am laying there, I noticed she stayed on the lower part of the bed. She was eating her friends snatch. . . . . sort of. She was trying to introduce a mouthful of my swimmers into her friend's awaiting egg. Dirty cunts.

( continued )