this is the best thread ever.
Announcement
Collapse
No announcement yet.
I am an evil bastard and there is a special place in Hell for me!
Collapse
X
-
Originally posted by lousiffer View Post( continued )
the continuing saga of gf1.
This girl was kinky and i loved it!! One of her favorite things was for me to hold her done and butt fuck her while she tried to fight to get away. She had a safe word ,but, she never used it. Once she started to get pretty well into her pregnancy, we tamed alot of stuff down. Then she had an idea. She decided to call a friend of hers over and see if she would let me fuck her while she watched. The friend eventually decided to do it. Gf1 would just sit there and watch me pound her friend into oblivion. These were good times.
After my baby is born, gf1 went into super freak mode. I didnt think she could go an farther, but, she proved me wrong. She went from liking to be spanked to a full on flogging. I did it once for her, and it pissed her off. Not because i was getting too rough. It was because i wasnt getting rough enough. She went crazy buying all these torture tools. And she loved type o negative. I thought i was in love with her. She loved pain induction during sex. I was liking it, too. We even found out that a low level stun gun was quite fun when you had an orgasm. She was starting to get into wiccan and shit. She thought she was a decendant of this chick that was known for her sexual divinity. Me personally, i dont believe in god, gods, ghosts, ghouls,spectres, witches, warlocks, etc. I dont care if someone else does, that is their choice.
However, with her new found lineage into the occult or whatever the hell it was, the crazy bitch literally started acting like my dick was hers. She would put on a strap on and get dressed and have this huge dong coming down her leg, kinda like the lead singers in 70s rock bands with those crush velvet pants. She had this girl come over and she would just bend her over the couch and pull out the strap on like a real cock and do her. She was convinced, after a night of candle burning, praying to the winds and sacrificing a chicken and calling it dinner, that she was supposed to be a hermaphrodite. The bitch just " nuked the fridge ". . . .or she " jumped the shark " if you havent watched the crystal skulls.
Even though the bitch went over the edge, sex was still fun. I was fucking her friends and her. We were shocking the shit out of each other with the taser and slapping and hurting each other into orgamsic bliss. This went on for a while unt we found out she was pregnant again. She quit taking her pills. I hate rubbers. I hate spending money on getting snipped as that would pay for a decent guitar or tube amp head. In hindsight, i wish i would have gotten snipped when i turned 18. She had one friend that came over as a regular. She was built nice and was a very sweet girl. My gf was in love with her. They always talked about how they wish my gf could impregnant her. Odd thinking, but, i never heard girls talk like this and it was kinky. . . .and i liked it.
The gf has this great idea that i should let her hold my hips while i fuck her friend and she can act like its her. Her goal was to have me pregnate her friend , but, in some weird logic, she was the one doing it. I wasnt up for it. I got one kid i didnt want and one on the way, i did not want another for fucks sake. A few days after this, we are all laying around in bed. The gf blows me and i nut in her mouth. As i am laying there, i noticed she stayed on the lower part of the bed. She was eating her friends snatch. . . . . Sort of. She was trying to introduce a mouthful of my swimmers into her friend's awaiting egg. Dirty cunts.
( continued )
Send. Me. Her. Number.So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
I nearly broke her back
Comment
-
Originally posted by emperor_black View Postmaybe the turkey bit Lou's weiner off."Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.
Comment
-
Originally posted by Alvin_Wilson View PostThe above pic is what Rsmaker has in mind for Wilksy-boo-boo.So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
I nearly broke her back
Comment
-
This is indeed the best thread ever. Evah! As we say here in NYC. I'm embarrassed that I'm only finding out about this thread just now. I guess I'm 'guitar-blind' by overseeing this area of the JCF.
Forget get all this guitar-shit. I'm gonna start working on my margarita-making skills!
Lou! Where are you! You should option this thread into a movie deal!_______________________
semi-automatic hate machine...
Comment
Comment