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  • #46
    Originally posted by Hellbat View Post
    Why did I just get a mental image of Bill trying to jam his pud up a flute?!?


    Up the ol' poop flute!
    "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

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    • #47
      Originally posted by LouSiffer View Post
      Ever see a top fuel dragster? American. That is all. LOL-Lou
      And what does it do? Not much, just bollock in a straight line (if you are lucky) for a quarter of a mile, then what? Twisty turns, bit of tasty handling? Nope, it fucking stops. It's like announcing a fart, cocking your leg and pulling a face, roaring off at full sheet-rip, then tailing off into a squeak within 3 seconds. Embarrassing, in other words.
      Saying you can't drive a LHD or RHD car is like saying you can only wipe your arse with your right hand. Unless you are Abu Hamza (coming soon to a courtroom near you) this is nonsense. If the pedals were reversed, maybe you'd have a point. Jeez, that'd be difficult...

      Next, we all know how to use a toothbrush, our teeth ain't rotten, we just don't see the need to get all Donny Osmond and wear braces like a fucking gaylord. Although, I despair of the youth of today, more and more kids are walking around looking like Poly Styrene (there's a name from the past, eh? RIP Poly). The only time you should have your gob wired up like that is after a massive punch-up in the pub, or if you are a fat bastard (hmmm, I wonder where most of them live?). Shane McGowan is not our hero, you know.

      Once upon a time when my girlfriend was living at home (not my current girlfriend Wilksy Baby, I mean a real chick) she was having trouble with her brother being a tosspot, so as a prelude to a hot buggery session, I persuaded her to punish him by pushing his toothbrush up her arse. Well, me being me, I wasn't satisfied, before long, she had her Mum & Dad's, her sister's and her other brother's brushes up there. I arranged them into a little multi-coloured smile by fanning them out, it was a fucking work of art, I swear. It would have made a great album cover (erm, for Jimmy Somerville or someone)
      The polaroid I took disappeared some time ago, and I never plucked up the courage to ask my Old Dear if she'd seen it and thrown it out. Maybe one day it will resurface, I live in hope.
      Oh, and we put the brushes back in the bathroom cupboard, bean skins and sweetcorn husks and all. Eeeh, I'm a bad bastard, she was such a nice sweet girl till I corrupted her.
      So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

      I nearly broke her back

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      • #48
        Originally posted by horns666 View Post
        Well Lou, I did pray to the Obama that you'd get this job. This proves it..he is the anti-christ!

        That is a GOOD thing for us!!!
        Man obammy aint the anti christ. hes too much of a pussy.
        Let me tell you about a porcupine's balls.... They're small, and they don't give a shit!

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        • #49
          Originally posted by MakeAJazzNoiseHere View Post
          Ironically, it's almost as sad ad a Brit's inability to use a fucking electric (or any other) toothbrush, isn't it?
          bah, toofbrushes is over-rated, innit?

          Down here we just pull a stick out of the fire & use the charcoaled end to clean the choppers while we wait for the billy to boil.

          Originally posted by LouSiffer View Post
          Damn brits are all alike. Americans invented power. Ever see a top fuel dragster? American. That is all. LOL-Lou
          Seen British Touring Cars? They turn left AND right around the track.
          Hail yesterday

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          • #50
            Originally posted by jacksonkellyfreak View Post
            Man obammy aint the anti christ. hes too much of a pussy.

            He's not..well, there goes my vote. I guess I have to go with the guy that forgets to dye his sideburns.

            How can a guy run a country if he can't manage hair coloration?

            RuPaul...2012 !!!
            "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
            Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

            "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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