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The Post your true stories you never tell because people wouldn't believe you thread!

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  • #46
    Originally posted by tonemonster View Post
    You and her husband should drank beer and went fishing. LOL. Anyone else got any stories like Lou and Tommy??
    Not quite, but if you take these ingredients:

    Alcohol, me, boredom, several hours of supping piss, any moose that even looks in my direction, a little voice in my brain that says "NOW!! DO IT!! GO FUCKING MENTAL", my trousers removed, swinging my knob about, standing on tables doing my infamous "Dwarf shagging a camel" impression, me singing "Rug Munchers" to the tune of "Rock Lobster", spewing, a hangover from Hell, insulting the Germans/French/Irish/English, wizened old hags, the Jesus Army, indecent exposure through the Jesus Army's Ford Transit window, pubes dyed green, pubes set on fire, pubes matted together with chewing gum, pubes vaporised with Veet, root ginger, bumsex, BDSM, Tequila fucking Sunrise, gimp masks, memory loss etc etc.

    Mix and match, chances are that you will come up with one of my nights out.

    Oh, finish it all off with "Shame at just how low I will go".

    Nah, I fucking love it.

    PS. USA, get yer tits out, I'm a-coming...
    So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!

    I nearly broke her back

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    • #47
      Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post

      PS. USA, get yer tits out, I'm a-coming...

      Yes, I heard. God save the Queen. I am sure you goofy fuckers will be drunk dialing me again this time.
      "clean sounds are for pussies" - Axewielder

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      • #48
        Originally posted by Rsmacker View Post
        Not quite, but if you take these ingredients:

        Alcohol, me, boredom, several hours of supping piss, any moose that even looks in my direction, a little voice in my brain that says "NOW!! DO IT!! GO FUCKING MENTAL", my trousers removed, swinging my knob about, standing on tables doing my infamous "Dwarf shagging a camel" impression, me singing "Rug Munchers" to the tune of "Rock Lobster", spewing, a hangover from Hell, insulting the Germans/French/Irish/English, wizened old hags, the Jesus Army, indecent exposure through the Jesus Army's Ford Transit window, pubes dyed green, pubes set on fire, pubes matted together with chewing gum, pubes vaporised with Veet, root ginger, bumsex, BDSM, Tequila fucking Sunrise, gimp masks, memory loss etc etc.

        Mix and match, chances are that you will come up with one of my nights out.

        Oh, finish it all off with "Shame at just how low I will go".

        Nah, I fucking love it.

        PS. USA, get yer tits out, I'm a-coming...
        you've got my imagination at defcon 2 right off the bat , that's a naturally powered 3 point swing down from 5 based solely
        on fear alone. RSmacker is a whamdoodle stem winder on all fronts. when are you hitting our shores? hopefully my settlement comes
        in time so i can get a quick boob job to heighten a journey of such distance. bring the mad Estonian with you, and do you have an american offensive planned
        out yet in regards to wilksy?
        Not helping the situation since 1965!

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        • #49
          The US is ready for you yet again...

          PS... tits optional
          ​It's the drunk piano player... walking on water

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          • #50
            We ABSOLUTELY will! This will be yet another adventure with Rsmacker... I'm pondering something.... That little "Wiliski" (spelling?)... will he be angry? No matter, I'll write his mummy a note.
            ​It's the drunk piano player... walking on water

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            • #51
              Originally posted by atomic charvel guy View Post
              you've got my imagination at defcon 2 right off the bat , that's a naturally powered 3 point swing down from 5 based solely
              on fear alone. RSmacker is a whamdoodle stem winder on all fronts. when are you hitting our shores? hopefully my settlement comes
              in time so i can get a quick boob job to heighten a journey of such distance. bring the mad Estonian with you, and do you have an american offensive planned
              out yet in regards to wilksy?
              He is ABSOLUTELY at defcon 2 or better.... He'll hit the other side of the US. No worries.... this thread will NOT be worthless... Pics to come! That little wilsky shall will have no worries either... taken care of... he just has no passport as rumor has it.:dunno:
              ​It's the drunk piano player... walking on water

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              • #52
                Here we go!!! this should be legendary!!!!!!
                "clean sounds are for pussies" - Axewielder

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                • #53
                  Tommy..that was maigical. I have every flavor but vanilla...as you can imagine. If I haven't shared any stories thus far..there's a good reason. heee..

                  OK,so, who's this 3 posts in fuckface? I will sodomize his face !!! Then we'll laugh, sing and dance !!!
                  "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                  Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                  "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

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