Originally posted by tonemonster
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Alcohol, me, boredom, several hours of supping piss, any moose that even looks in my direction, a little voice in my brain that says "NOW!! DO IT!! GO FUCKING MENTAL", my trousers removed, swinging my knob about, standing on tables doing my infamous "Dwarf shagging a camel" impression, me singing "Rug Munchers" to the tune of "Rock Lobster", spewing, a hangover from Hell, insulting the Germans/French/Irish/English, wizened old hags, the Jesus Army, indecent exposure through the Jesus Army's Ford Transit window, pubes dyed green, pubes set on fire, pubes matted together with chewing gum, pubes vaporised with Veet, root ginger, bumsex, BDSM, Tequila fucking Sunrise, gimp masks, memory loss etc etc.
Mix and match, chances are that you will come up with one of my nights out.
Oh, finish it all off with "Shame at just how low I will go".
Nah, I fucking love it.
PS. USA, get yer tits out, I'm a-coming...
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