Bar room conversation:

[bombtek]

So I'm at the bar having a few drinks and overhear a group of three rather large and loud ladies having a conversation. Their accent sounded like Scottish to me so I walk over and ask, "hello, are you three ladies from Scotland?"
Almost in unison they sceeched "Wales......Wales you bloody idiot!"
My reply...."Oh, I'm sorry. Are you three whales from Scotland?"
Its the last thing I remember from that night.

[rjohnstone]

Lmao!!!

[Cygnus X1]

Saw this elsewhere.
Good one!

[bombtek]

Yeah, stole it off of facebook lol.

[atomic charvel guy]

fuck guys, my brother's gone crazy. he thinks he's a chicken. then my best friend asked me why
i don't have him committed, and i told him that i need the eggs and would never do that to him.

[RacerX]

So, bombtek, what you're saying is you did not experience this incident?




You LIAR!

[DonP]

I want my money back

[bombtek]

HA!

lol

A tough looking biker was riding his Harley when he sees a girl about to jump off a bridge so he stops.
"What are you doing?" he asks.
I'm going to commit suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give me a kiss?"

So, she does.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be famous!

Why are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

I wasn't the bike NOR the other character in this one either!

[Nightbat]

So, our packaging designer (So/so face, very nice ass, no tits) comes down to look at a print
as she walks up to me, she asks: "Impressed?"

Me: "...No, not really"

-'Impressed' was the supplier of the print she was looking for -

[Cygnus X1]

Boo!

[paulbag]

I tried to bring sexy back but they asked me for a receipt...fuck wrong forum...

[Jack The Riffer]

Are you sure these aren't factual stories from Rsmacker's vacations???

[RacerX]

Are you sure these aren't factual stories from Rsmacker's vacations???

Har!

[Grim]

Actual story... this was back when I was at U of T... there was a bar down by the water in Toronto (the name... escapes me now... probably because I was too drunk)

Group of buddies and I boated up to the place and docked. Went in and started to get hammered. About halfway through the night my buddy asks me where Steve (other buddy) is.

Steve is a diabetic - though we didn't know it at the time - and hence was routinely in the bathroom (every 30 minutes). So of course, I replied "In the can, where else?"

Guy (whose name also happens to be Steve) tells the group of us "Hey guys... watch this" and walks towards the bathroom.

This wasn't a big bar by any means, and there was a massive line-up for the washroom as is expected. He walked straight through the line, looking for Steve. Now this washroom... Not many stalls, maybe 3, probably about 10 urinals opposite... you took what you could get. Anyway at the front of the line we saw Steve taking his piss, right in the middle of the urinal bank with dudes all around.

My friend puts on his best gay voice (Which happened to be very good) and puts his hand on his hip and yells:

"Steve! I KNEW I'd find you in here looking at other guys' THINGS! That's it! We're THROUGH!" and storms out the bathroom.

Steve turned beat red and my buddy still owes me a rib. I swear I haven't laughed that hard since. I mean, what can you say to that? "Oh, that's just my buddy, I'm not actually gay"... yeah right. It was fantastic.

[RacerX]

beet red