How do you know when a band is done?

[tomanyjacksons]

Simple question really. 4 or so years ago, a friend and I started a cover band and for the most part we had fun for awhile. But, the last 3 out of 4 shows have all had one thing in common. Him throwing a childish fit because he wasn't getting his way. 1 show it was because we didn't play as long as he wanted too, a bro's daughter's 18th B-day, my bro wanted the show over at midnight so all the little kiddies (wow 200ish) would leave and he wouldn't have to babysit the little perverts and keep them away from the passed out girls. No matter we'll just throw our drum set into the truck while bitching like a lil kid. Show before that, a small bar gig, got pissed and hit the drums so hard it was all you could hear, in the hole bar because his mix in his in ear monis was a little off and the sound guy told him it was because he was hitting the drums so hard it was covering everything in the mix. Last but not least same small bar, he wanted to put up 2 double 15" mains and 2 double 18" subs, " to show everybody what we have for a PA. This bar is big enough to fit maybe 150 people if you stood everybody next to each other. He got pissed off when I got tired of arguing with him and told him " who of the dozen or so people that will be here are we trying to impress with it? We're only playing for a few drunks, what the hell?" As anybody playing in a cover band knows, there's no money in it, you have to do it for the fun. I've lost the fun, I'm fukt. Friend/drummer has killed the joy. I love him to pieces but when I lay it out to him the fight's gonna be on, he's an ex boxer that is still good, granted I out way him a bunch and I'd just grab him and put him to sleep cause I don't want missing teeth or whatever. Damnit, sorry for the rant. Ideas please.

[Chad]

If seriously worried about fists flying when you try to talk to him about it......that's just ridiculous. That right there says he's a disaster. Anyway, talk with him in the safest manner possible like a public place (lol) and lay it out: he needs to buck up and stop acting like a child or you're gonna end the band or look for another drummer. Do you have any possible replacement drummers in mind?

[paulbag]

Yeah it's time...salvage the friendship.

[DRM]

Anytime you ever have to question the integrity of something, it isn't worth it.

[RacerX]

Fuck that guy, he sounds like a douche.

[Codex]

when the house lights go on!

[xenophobe]

If continuing it feels like agony, you've probably already know it's done.

Should you stay or leave, or try to have someone ejected? Only you can answer that one.

[Newc]

Find a new drummer, and tell dude he's being a douche.

[Axegrinder87]

As anybody playing in a cover band knows, there's no money in it, you have to do it for the fun.

Replace "cover" with "original" and yes. Otherwise, absofuckinglutely not. The ONLY reason to play in a cover band is to make money to support your original band. If you're not making any money, that's reason enough to quit.

[MikeStrat]

Reading the original post answered the question for me. Done!

[Rsmacker]

Get a t-shirt printed with "Tongue my Furry Hoop" printed on the back, with a big arrow pointing down. Make sure you stand in front of the drummer throughout the gig.

Or ask him if he's ever thought of, y'know, "experimenting" with any sexy guitarists who might be in the same band (wink)? He'll quit pretty quickly. NOTE: Only do this if you are certain he won't gleefully leap out of the closet and shred your shitter. On second thoughts, sexual frustration might be the reason for his bad temper...

[clifffclaven]

Replace "cover" with "original" and yes. Otherwise, absofuckinglutely not. The ONLY reason to play in a cover band is to make money to support your original band. If you're not making any money, that's reason enough to quit.

Yep. Playing covers can be very lucrative if approached correctly. That being said, it has to be fun. No fun=done.

Either get a new drummer or call it quits.

[Maiden89]

Your situation sounds fucking miserable. The drummer sounds like a dick, it's pretty clear that the band is done. If your not having fun, then the whole vibe is gone. The audience at the gigs will feel the tension.

I had kind of the same situation in high school with a bassist. Right off the bat we got along really well and were having fun just playing our favorite songs. He managed to get a gig at someones luau party. It was our first gig and there were about 100 people there. We didn't really have enough time to find a complete band, so we had another friend sing, I played guitar and he played bass. We got paid $100 a piece, which I thought was fantastic in high school. We were really excited and practiced 8 hours a day sometimes and wanted to start gigging more.

The problem was we were fucking alcoholics and he didn't really know what he wanted. He would try to play drums, then he would try to sing and play guitar and he would say he wanted to be the rhythm guitarist. I told him just to stick with one thing and we'll find other people to play drums or sing. When we did try to practice, we were always drunk as hell. I told him we should stop fucking around; I just wanted to play. We eventually would always fight, because he said I was a pussy because I got tired of drinking and it was my fault our "band" sucked because I wouldn't let him play the instrument he wanted.

After a while, we just went our own ways. I couldn't stand the tension every time we practiced. It didn't feel fun anymore and I didn't even like playing anymore.

If the drummer is the only one in your band thats screwing things up, I would tell him to leave and find someone else. Chances are your friendship is probably done too, but it's a small price to play to have fun playing with your band again.

[Axegrinder87]

Multi-instrumentalists piss me off.

[RacerX]

Or ask him if he's ever thought of, y'know, "experimenting" with any sexy guitarists who might be in the same band (wink)? He'll quit pretty quickly. NOTE: Only do this if you are certain he won't gleefully leap out of the closet and shred your shitter.

I LOL'd here at the office!