Barton vodka
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There's nothing wrong with a little self promotion ----
Double Cross Vodka.
Mixed with Sunny D - tangy original (when did it change its name from Sunny Delight?).
Freeze it for an hour or two. It becomes like a Slushie, not a brick of ice.
I typically drink it at home, because places don't carry Sunny D from the bottle (the fountain drink sucks) -- plus the hour that it takes to make.
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Not now, but earlier on I was drinking lady piss. My recommendation is that you choose one who doesn't smoke, and that you glug it down straight from the furry chalice, don't try any of those fancy tricks like letting your mouth fill up so it spills all over your shirt and then trying to swallow, you'll drown.
No, you are welcome! Chin Chin!So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
I nearly broke her back
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Originally posted by toejam View PostRsmacker, I was sure you would say jizz."I have so much gayness at times. My wife walks in my music room, and there I am, in my undies, listening to "Sister Christian" while lighting fireworks..doin' blow." - Bill Z
"I leave off the back plate and pinch my forskin between the tension springs. That may not work for everyone. But I find that the people love it. Half the tone is in the pud." - Bill Z
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Originally posted by toejam View PostRsmacker, I was sure you would say jizz.
In fact thinking about it, there are few things that turn my stomach quite as much. OK, so I'm happy to provide some protein for someone else's wife to glug at a Gokkun party, but no way Jose is any of that salty broth going down my throat.
I recall, once upon a time, when I was a mere puppy, my old boss describing the abomination which is "snowballing" and I nearly yakked up. I still see his wife around town these days and think "Ewwwww, you dirty cow" (I still really really want to bone her though. And she knows it. One day...)So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
I nearly broke her back
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Actually, right now, Saturday night, I'm sitting enjoying a concoction called a "Sleazy Pete" - pint glass, 2 double measures of Salted Caramel Vodka, 2 doubles of Baileys, a splash of creme de Cacao, topped up with milk, plenty of ice. Named after a memorable afternoon spent on the balcony of a Florida golf course (and no, I can't won't and never will attempt to play golf), supping lager and regaling the assembled patrons with tales of absolute filth from my adventures, including the dwarf shagging story, complete with the miming and gestures to bring the tale to life.
Well, I say, "assembled patrons", but it was more a case of me talking to my two companions really loudly and not giving a shit that the whole place could hear what I was going on about. You know you are doing well when you reach a particularly juicy part and someone on the other side of the balcony laughs (as well as the ones who freak out and leave immediately, looking at you in disbelief and horror. If there's anything that spurs me on to be even more of a filthy loud bastard than that, I don't know what it is).
Come on, it had to be better than watching some boring twats cheer on their boring offspring at some boring golf tournament. What's not to like about drinking and swapping adventure stories?
Anyway, several drinks down the line, all decorum is long gone and I've corrupted a nice older gentleman into spilling his guts about an incident involving a couple of hookers named "Misty" and "Storm", IIRC, and fire ants biting his nutsac as he puts them to the sword. Laugh? Holy shit, I nearly pissed myself, and it proves that there is a tale of absolute debauchery in everyone, no matter how respectable they try to behave. All it takes is alcohol and li'l ole me to bring it all out and get us all blacklisted.
We left shortly afterwards, him back to explain where the fuck he'd been to his wife, and me with the drink he'd been sipping, which I christened in his honour - the Sleazy Pete. (I'm sure it's got a well-known queer name, but I prefer mine. Add anchovies for the full experience)
Fucking hell, that brings back good memories, causing trouble in Florida in various bars, clubs, Publix and Toys R Us - all down to drink and me preaching the way of the Rsmacker. (Oh, and a few really loud farts too). I could do with a bit of sunshine and liver abuse right now, Happy fucking Days! God Bless America!
If any of you Southern fellows have a nice big-titted sister you want rid of, let me know. It's time I produced a son and heir, and it just ain't happening here...So I woke up,rolled over and who was lying next to me? Only Bonnie Langford!
I nearly broke her back
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