Further proof the French are weenies

[Black Mariah]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Further proof Americans are alienated from the rest of the world.

Get this, in some cities in Europe... cars are banned COMPLETELY. 4-6' wide streets have a tendency to not let cars through. Why do you think scooters are so popular in Europe, Italy especially? They don't need a 19' long cock extension to get from one side of town to the other, and gas is so fucking expensive (upwards of $6-8 a GALLON) it would be more cost effective to just get actual penis enlargement surgery.

There should be a test. If you go to a car dealership to buy an SUV you should have to meet certain requirements to buy an SUV. Like actually having driven down a dirt road at some point in your life, or you actually plan to take the damn thing off road. Since nobody that owns an Escalade is taking it off road, they should just be shot on sight. "You're here to buy an Escalade?" *BAM! GUNSHOT TO FACE!* "Next customer!"

Ultimately, who gives a fuck? It's France.

[the_drip]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

black mariah, you're my new best friend. The best explanation of who gives a fuck....today.

[toejam]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Originally posted by John D.:
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by toejam:
This thread is making me hungry for french toast and french fries. Not necessarily together, but I have a craving for them. [img]graemlins/brow.gif[/img]

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Interestingly, French fries have nothing to do with France, per se. The reason they are called "French" fries is that the slicing of the potato is referred to as a "French cut". How's that for trivia? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Interesting. What about the french onion dip I had before with my potato chips? [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[fett]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Well, I guess that TOES don't have anything to do with JAM. Just what are Grape-nuts?

[Ninja Guitar]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Originally posted by Black Mariah:
Further proof Americans are alienated from the rest of the world.

Get this, in some cities in Europe... cars are banned COMPLETELY. 4-6' wide streets have a tendency to not let cars through. Why do you think scooters are so popular in Europe, Italy especially? They don't need a 19' long cock extension to get from one side of town to the other, and gas is so fucking expensive (upwards of $6-8 a GALLON) it would be more cost effective to just get actual penis enlargement surgery.

There should be a test. If you go to a car dealership to buy an SUV you should have to meet certain requirements to buy an SUV. Like actually having driven down a dirt road at some point in your life, or you actually plan to take the damn thing off road. Since nobody that owns an Escalade is taking it off road, they should just be shot on sight. "You're here to buy an Escalade?" *BAM! GUNSHOT TO FACE!* "Next customer!"

Ultimately, who gives a fuck? It's France.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img] Good to hear from you again.

[Ninja Guitar]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Agreed. I would be pissed if our government suddenly said we couldn't legally own or drive SUVs. I think SUVs are gay, but they aren't harmful to a point where our gov. could consider banning them for any serious reason.

What really pisses me off is some of the fucking idiots driving these SUVs. They can't drive and they tail-gate other drivers, putting guys like me at risk who drive smaller cars. And, most people who own SUVs have no real necessity for such a powerful, heavy behemoth.

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

whatever they do I don't mind. It's not a totaly bad thing cutting polution and gas consumption [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

Here in the states is all about over indulgence. We have vehicles that can go 110 MPH but the max speed limit is 70 [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img] having said that, I have two gas hogs 2004 F-150 SuperCrew and a 2004 Eddie Baur Expidition Gas prices suck...nearly 50 bucks to fill up...I'm buyng me a moped [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Originally posted by L:
Yeah, the French can only take so much good-natured ribbing before they come over here Red-Dawn style and take over shreddermon's and fett's front yards. Poor fett and shreddermon will have to live in the mountains with Swayze and drink deers' blood to become men. Les Wolverines!

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I dunno Lance. Considering their military history (brief summary attached) I'm not sure the French are actually up to conquering two front yards (particularly two American front yards):

<u>COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE</u>

Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian.

Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when NOT led by a Frenchman."

Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars -- when fighting Italians.

Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.

Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.

War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flower pots as chapeaux.

The Dutch War - Tied.

War of the Augsburg League / King William's War / French and Indian War - Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.

War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved ever since.

American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."

French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.

The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.

The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.

World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.

World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.

War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu.

Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.

War Against Greenpeace - Lost. 1985, the Greenpeace ship Rainbow Warrior prepares to sail for Moruroa Atoll for a major campaign against French nuclear testing. Agents of the DGSE [secret service] bomb and sink the ship in Auckland Harbor. One tree-hugger sans tree drowns. Six weeks later agents Prieur and Mafart plead guilty to charges of manslaughter and willful damage. They get sentences of 10 years and 7 years. French Prime Minister Fabius admits to state terrorism on TV.

War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I mean how much can you really expect of a nation whose best troops exclude only its own citizens? Hmmm, maybe they did learn something along the way after all .... [img]images/icons/grin.gif[/img]

[horns666]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

By Shawn "Here in the states is all about over indulgence."

Oh Shawn ....don't knock Indulgence , it's what makes us happy!!!! [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

at least it makes me happy ....and me is all I care about.. [img]images/icons/wink.gif[/img]

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

hehe...Bill I'm not knocking it in the least...I don't need 14 guitars and other toys but we only live once [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]

[fett]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Horns is right. Bigger; faster and more do-dads. This is what makes America great. Why have one guitar when you can have ten? Why drive a sandine can when you can drive a canned ham? Over-indulgence is a God-given right and then we all go to hell.

[the_drip]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

unless you live in France I don't think your opinion matters.

who gives a shit.

[fett]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Originally posted by the_drip:
unless you live in France I don't think your opinion matters.

who gives a shit.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Thank you, Beldar Conehead

[the_drip]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

[img]graemlins/toast.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

"We come from france!"

[fett]

Re: Further proof the French are weenies

Must consume vast quantities of beer.