Worst child upbringing I've ever seen

[fett]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

I have teased Immortal and was pulled through the wringer. Now, I am on his side. LAY OFF the guy. Isn't it obvious to you guys that communicating through out the world is not the same as talking to your bud down the street who has the same life experiences. If you can just let this 19 year old test the world's water. If he falls in, throw him a life preserver. He is trying to figure out how to deal with seasoned guitar enthusiasts and is using English, to boot. You don't have to throw him a sandbag instead.

[Evol]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Originally posted by hippietim:
Lighten up, Francis.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">[img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Chuckracer]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Tim, you lighten up. You taunted that response out of Immortal, and that wasn't necessary.

[Immortal]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Shawn, I have a feeling that he's spending his discrimination period, because he got his sister 7 months ago. The only focus of his parents is the baby. Often I see the kid either on the street or local playground.

No one from his family respondes when we meet on the street and I say hi. Maybe there's a lucky day and they say hi back very quiet, but overall there's no feedback.
I don't mind that, his parents grew up in a bad situation (his father and his uncle were pushed by parents, but uncle went away and broke all of the contacts with them, even though they live only quarter of a mile away).
When I meet the kid (often I drive by the playground) he's waving with his hands like hell, so I'm sure he entertains good relationship and opinion.
We (I & my family) and my girlfriend, which is often at my place, like him very much, because he can be very entertaining.
But after this event I'm feeling like I'm lying to him when I am smiling back just not to tear his soul apart. I just cannot forget the affair when I look at him, but I smile anyway, because I know that family circumstances are very bad at his home.

As far as I know there were no other limitations that subjective opinion about his new discovery of guitar world, so he could stay, but his parents didn't like it.
I think it's better for him to spend some free time with me pulling all six strings than spending his whole day somewhere on the street. But he should not forget about spending some time with his coetaneous friends, since I am 7 years older than he is, and I have my worries, habbits and life too. But I think he already understands that and he's not here to be the pain in the ass.

I hope he'll show up soon. I don't want to cause some extra inconveniences by calling him home, but if they'll disallow hanging out with me, that would be damn sad.

[Tekky]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Well, the good thing about all of this is that you're showing a positive active interest. That could mean a lot to this little guy down the line..

[Pavla]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Originally posted by fett:
I have teased Immortal and was pulled through the wringer. Now, I am on his side. LAY OFF the guy. Isn't it obvious to you guys that communicating through out the world is not the same as talking to your bud down the street who has the same life experiences. If you can just let this 19 year old test the world's water. If he falls in, throw him a life preserver. He is trying to figure out how to deal with seasoned guitar enthusiasts and is using English, to boot. You don't have to throw him a sandbag instead.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I agree with you. People around immortal can be quite different than those around other people. Im not saying that immortal have some retard neighbors or he's living in retarded part of the world but maybe some of you have more kind people around you than he has.

[lerxstcat]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Immortal,

It's good that you care about the boy's situation. Be supportive but don't get into the middle between the boy and his family. The boy will get hit at home when you confront his father, so try to not piss them off.

Pavla,

People are talking to Immortal giving their best advice, and are not criticizing, but he's posted a couple of other threads where it seemed he was a bit quick to get mad or get into arguments. We know he's a good guy, but are just saying, when you get angry with someone, they will get angry right back.
It doesn't have to be that way, and in this case the young kid would be the one to be hurt. Immortal would feel bad, but the kid would get hit by his father.

So maybe it's not good for Immortal to get the kid's father mad, no matter who is right or wrong. The kid is probably better off with his parents than in a Slovene orphanage, so it's not wise to go to the police, probably.

It sounds like a situation where things could get very violent so someone has to stay calm. It doesn't sound like the boy's father will do that so Immortal has to be the calm one.

[fett]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

I think Immortal should find another forum to discuss the non-C/J matters. I mean this in the kindest way. This kid doesn't stand a chance around here. Immortal, You are dealing with a bunch of yahoos, including me. The C/J questions and answers where you post must be treated with respect and understanding. If I were you, I would focus on the issues that are directly related to C/J and music in general. Otherwise, you open yourself up like an over-ripe melon.

[Immortal]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

lerxstcat, good noticing, but I usually I am not like that at all. There were some situations that have exposed my unpleasant side, and it takes a lot of work to fix that, I know.

The thing regarding this boy is something that proves my statement few lines above. Honestly, I wasn't standing for myself in that conflict, nor I wasn't excusing myself. The thing is that for me something innocent like guitar playing isn't an immoral act. I respect other people's opinion, but the father could say it more politely and skipping the slapping part.

I don't want to get into the middle like you said. I will stay away, always prepared to politely host the boy if he comes here in future. And I will be so damn proud to give him some lessons, but next time only after the parents' approval.

o maybe it's not good for Immortal to get the kid's father mad, no matter who is right or wrong.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Like I've said already, I didn't know that letting the kid play on my gear without any mental or physical harm for him will get his parents mad.

It sounds like a situation where things could get very violent so someone has to stay calm. It doesn't sound like the boy's father will do that so Immortal has to be the calm one.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">It's okay for you to think that I am a man of a quick anger, because you don't know me that well. I don't mind, really. I have already said everything before. [img]images/icons/smile.gif[/img]
I think you'll notice that I am not that bad after all, but we all have some bad days and make a bad impression every since a while.

[ June 25, 2004, 06:02 PM: Message edited by: Immortal ]

[fett]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Well, I'm done being "Father". Let the teenager do what he does and I'm going to mind my own middle-aged business.

[Miffy rules]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Nothing is worse than calling one's own boy gay. Fuck, what's on this guy's mind? [img]images/icons/mad.gif[/img] [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif[/img]

Btw, I'm shocked about the slapping thing. In country like China or Taiwan this is a relatively normal way to "teach" children (not that I'm for it [img]graemlins/evilimages/icons/tongue.gif[/img] ), but I believe this hardly happens in the West, a culture where rights of individuals are respected. Just how often does a father slap his kids in the face in the West?

If you want to hear about or see child abuse, come to Taiwan! [img]images/icons/mad.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/poke.gif[/img] News like daddy or mommy beating up babies, raping their daughters, raping their sons (!) happens almost every week. I can't imagine how my child is going to survive in such twisted society. [img]images/icons/frown.gif[/img]

[lerxstcat]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

I'm not thinking badly of you Immortal; I
think it would be normal to be outraged at the father's behavior. You handled the situation better than I would have when I was 19, I'm sure of that.

I just had in mind you saying you were going to Germany to beat some guy's ass
over a guitar pickup and wouldn't want to see you get in a fight over this boy with
his father. Since a human being is more important than a guitar pickup, you can see why I would be concerned, correct?

Anyway, I think you have the right idea for dealing with the situation. I think it's good of you to be involved to show the kid someone cares and understands him too. Good for you!

[Immortal]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Miffy, as for you, you're a damn good guy, and I don't judge people by the country they live in, but the fact is that the crap is going on in Asia about sexual abuse of children. I think the only thing that comes to my mind is throwing up.
People actually tape those kind of actions.

lerxstcat (huh, your nickname is quite complicated to type), thanks for your share of opinion.
Beating the guy from Germany was meant directly the moment I was writing that thread. Now I think more of a symbolic beating of the ass. You know, I would mail him, call him, let him know that I expect the stuff.
In that moment, I was really sure to beat him, because I was in the affect.
Okay, let's not talk about off-topic stuff. You can PM me whenever you want and about whatever topic you choose.

In real life I deal with critical situations very well. I stayed calm because I knew that a physical fight wouldn't lead nowhere. I was trying to settle things down and talk about the problem on the human level, but it didn't work out.

This boy still needs some time spent together with other people, but parents are often on the duty, even though that father works at home, but he's just too busy I guess. Well, I won't stick my nose into other people's personal and family business. The one thing I know is that they don't treat him right, but I ain't gonna tell them that. They can explode again. There are things that they'll figure out in the future, but then it'll be too late.

I am just wondering, whether this boy will be like his father when he grows up or not. I hope he won't be.

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Originally posted by fett:
I think Immortal should find another forum to discuss the non-C/J matters. I mean this in the kindest way. This kid doesn't stand a chance around here. Immortal, You are dealing with a bunch of yahoos, including me. The C/J questions and answers where you post must be treated with respect and understanding. If I were you, I would focus on the issues that are directly related to C/J and music in general. Otherwise, you open yourself up like an over-ripe melon.

<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">No disrespect fett but who the hell are you to tell people what they should or should not discuss on this section of the board? Immortal has just as much right to talk about whatever the hell he wants to. I don't know how long you been around this board but you name it, I've seen it discussed. If I don't like the topic (and I see many that I don't) I stay out of it. Perhaps you are the one doesn't stand a chance around here [img]graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Miffy rules]

Re: Worst child upbringing I\'ve ever seen

Isn't this section called Non J/C Related Talk? [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif[/img]