Bill's New Home

[horns666]

Re: Bill\'s Home

maybe he owes $$...but I think he's fighting a demon that may have overstayed his welcome..my intuition.

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: Bill\'s Home

thanks foro all the good thoughts guys, but after all the $$$ losses at work ,and being completely leftout in the cold by my wife and her family(once the dough stoped rolling in)my girlfriend is pregnant now, and it's justabout the lst thing i need right now, but i'm standing by her and hopefully am doing the right thing. she deserves that much that is all i now. i don't think my life could possibly get anymore fukked up than it already is, but when i say or think that, it does. it's gonna be tough to figure this one out. for her age, she is quite cool and so far has shown a lot of poise. i'm not fit to be anyones father, that's what i'm woried about. if i didn't lose that 6 figures of profit in july, things would be a little different. i just got in to the office, thanks to all of my friends here , as in reality you really are my only friends except for the ones i grew up with in new york, as everyone else i know around here just wants to party , and i use that term in place of a much uglier term. i don't know what's next or what to do but i do know that i'll be needing some money and the stuff i worked so hard for is probably going to have to go. i feel like my life just came to a close.i really appreciate everybody's vibes , hope i can stick around here but my time may be taken up due to the aforementioned circumstances. what's next. i open my own company, the 1st 6 months almost kill me, the next 2 months bring me back to where i used to be,closing deals and bringing in $$$, and the last 3 months, july in particular has set me back to the bottom, all the while working my ass off to get back what used to be a successful and fairly spoiled dream life, and now this. i'm no good, and am just a tad worried about what i'm gonna do. i certainly can't give a child a great life that it so very much deserves. i'm barely getting by myself.
and mr.drip, i did grow up with connected families in n.y. if that's how my posts come off. it's not intentional, it was 100% begging. i'll pop by from time to time and tell you , my friends , how everything is going. thanks again everyone. this life of mine just doesn't stop, there's always something else around the corner, always another shot to the knee caps, always under a mountain in the end. i wish it was 4 years ago, things were much different and i could have changed a few thing to prevent todays situation. talk soon,
tomy

[horns666]

Re: Bill\'s Home

Tommy..you are needed more than ever...

that baby doesn't give a fuck about your past , your $$ or your habbits , your pain or any BS...he NEEDS you...and wants to get to know his father and ...YOU can be there for him...or her.

your child needs your guidence , your love and presence..that won't cost you anything...but time , and the love you can give.

My bro turned his back on two children...I lost a lot of respect for my brother for doing that...and he's my own flesh and blood and my "brother"...who is only 2 years younger than I am...yes I love him...but it's truly hard to love someone you can't respect and the way I see it...in my world without sugar coating or rose colored anything...he's a piece of shit....and that really hurts to be honest to say that.

Do the right thing...it's in you ..my friend...that's is the hurt inside you..it's called a heart...something my brother was born without!

Fuckit it...roll with the punches ..stay strong and take care of your biz...

our frienship , words and wisdom is all that we can share my bro...

we are always here....hoping the VERY best for you man..because you are good...and derserve it IMO!

Bill

BTW..That child..once in your arms...will brings you joy like never before..I know that!

[Emthrax]

Re: Bill\'s Home

[ QUOTE ]


BTW..That child..once in your arms...will brings you joy like never before..I know that!

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Spoken like a true father. [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]
And very much true. No matter how fucked up your world is, you look into your child's eyes and it all melts away.
The love and joy is indescribable, Tommy. I am so happy that you are feeling committed to this. That is just awesome. You know we are all here for you to help out however we can. [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]
Give your sweet girlfriend of yours a big hug, she's got a road ahead of her and she's gonna rock it being a wonderful mama to your little one. And no matter what you think now, you do so have something to offer to your own child. BillZ said it well. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] We all adore you, that should tell ya somethin' ya crazy fruit bat!
Chin up! [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]

Hugs,
Emmy

[horns666]

Re: Bill\'s Home

[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]...listen well Tommy

we have crossed the bridge that you are approaching.

Now go KICK ASS the best you can , that's all you can do...it's not all about you anymore...and you wouldn't have it any other way...trust me. [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]

[lerxstcat]

Re: Bill\'s Home

Tommy, it's a big responsibility but you are more than up to it. You'll make a great father, man! Your heart is full of love, you have the greatest sense of humor, you're a great person! You will also find the strength of will to face the tough times for that baby more than you ever would just for yourself. No one knows how to be a parent until it's time to do it, but I think you'll be the coolest frikkin' dad on the block (I have to start using less potty words around the baby! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] )You will weather this storm and this may be the best thing that has happened to you. This baby will transform you. Believe in yourself, you know we believe in you!

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: Bill\'s Home

thanks lerx, i scard out of my socks right now though, i was spoiled and i want my kid to be spoiled too. i can see it now , my first christmas with him or her, "merry christmas Dorian, here's a price club card for an industrial size case of mustard, and a calling card from 7-11 for 20 minutes. Dorian? Dorian? where are you going ? you'll be thanking me for this someday". i was thinking Dorian for a boy, as it's my favorite mode, or if it's a girl, Angela, Jaqueline, Nicolette, maybe Taylor or Stefanie, my middle name is Stefan, what do you think about Zoe (zoeeee)or Zane? iwant the kid to have a cool handle so he or she does not get beat up in the school yard. i'm fukkin' scared to death, my knees are jelly, i don't waant to be oneof those statistic dads either. well, thanks alot everyone. bye for now.
tommy

[VitaminG]

Re: Bill\'s Home

Dorian for a boy, Ionian for a girl?

Damn man, you're picking out kid's names now? That's a good sign. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

Spoil the kid with love, you'll be fine Tommy.

[lerxstcat]

Re: Bill\'s Home

You'll do fine Tommy, and think about it: you're worrying about his or her first Christmas, but he/she will probably be about 3 before Christmas really registers. Before that anything with bright colors will fascinate a baby. So counting pregnancy (I take it you just found out, so maybe 6 to 9 weeks along?) you have almost 4 years to line up that first memorable Christmas. A cute teddy bear will do for the first couple of Christmases and those are cheap.

You will make a great dad, the fact you're worried proves you care and that's a good sign. You have some great names to choose from too, I think they're all cool names.

[Emthrax]

Re: Bill\'s Home

Let me tell ya... I pull the "single parent" thing very often being a military wife. The thing that my kids appreciate more than anything is spending time with their dad when he's home and pictures. They LOVE pictures! As they get older they will see just how much their Dad has been there for them from all the goofy pictures we take together.
And Rich is right... just a fun soft cuddly is perfect for a little one. [img]/images/graemlins/baby.gif[/img] You got time, Tommy!
I think first time Dads are the coolest, your reactions are endearing. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]
If you feel the need to spoil anyone, spoil your girlfriend with foot rubs and back massages. Oh yeah! [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]

[the_drip]

Re: Bill\'s Home

you're making a good choice.

[horns666]

Re: Bill\'s Home

Tommy...man waite to your kid grows and he's just like you..or her..your looks , mannerisms , everything...it's a trip..and a aweome..

You know how much I talkj about Vinny my son..of course you do..he is one of those things I brings up all the time..all my friends here knows my boy's name and that he plays drums like a motherfucker..and is very good lookin' ..like his daddy..and he likes chicks..a little too much..but some of that is my fault..we have the same tase in chicks.

I was 30 when I had him...and yeah your a little older now....but in better physical condition than I am now and we are the same age..there is stuff I can't do with him now..because I'm broken...but you have some good years left in you...as I do...we connect in other way...his mom takes him all over the place..I do stuff with him at home..talk , laugh , jam , fight , listen to all my metal that will be his someday...

Dorian is cool and I like Angela as in angel...

I wanted to name Vinny ...Vincent "Price" as his middle name...but my wife's and my dad's name is John so we went with that..so he's Vincnt John....I still wish it was Price..because I think Vincent Price RULES!!!

I just told Emmy that the other day..

Tommy you haven't felt real love until you hold your child in your arm and look into their eyes and see yourself ....you're hooked...you can never let that go...your child will be all that you live for...well you'll still have fun and shit ..I still do...I fuck around ...got nice toys and shit..but I would give it all up for Vin in a heartbeat...without a thought.

Hey..Your an awesome dude in a world wher I think most people are ..CRAP!

It's good to poulate this world with some who were cut from good quality Cloth..

Dammit! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

You'll be a GREAT fucking dad without question!

all our knees were "jelly while our women were pregnant...damn I almost got killed while my wife was pregnat . I was shot at nine times..and the bullets came within inches from my fuggin' head...but I shot that motherfucker..

I'M A EVIL MOTHERFUCKER....JOE! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Could you image my only son's knowledge of me is from a old phtograph...I don't even look the same..and he wouldn't be Vinny without me man....He KICKS ASS...and he will always KICK ASS...because I was there to show him how to KICK ASS..and I always will be...as long as I can I hope!

[horns666]

Re: Bill\'s Home

OH I wrote my usual satanic spew on another thread..I want to save it so I'll store it here I guess....RICH...don't read it..it's my usual Satanic crap!!! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]


God turned me onto Satan...well it's true..

after thirty years of being a Cathiloic..catholic school , church , and all their superstitions and rituals and mother goose fables..I had my suspicions from the start.

the Bible...that did it..I actually read the bible multiple times..you know the dummied down revised new "American" version..it's written close to ebonics..but cleverly left out some nasty details of the original "Shakesperian" version...it's true..I read them both..many times...still do.

You wanna hate god...read his book...it's all there is black and white..he's a prick..

right from the start...oh yeah...I can go on about this for years..non stop..and never lose an arguement..many people have tried..thelogians , my best of christian friends , you name it...even my pastor of my old church..we can talk openly about this stuff.

Debates that I not only win..but overwhelm them with simple logic ..that was based on their very own belief system...the holy bible..I know about their faith better than they do...well it makes perfect sense ..If your going to hate "anything" and have strong convictions for that hate...there MUST be a reason....I have very rational , logical reasons to "hate" god.

Like I said God is a prick in that book...and he is exactly like man..he is petty , gets angry , has tantrums , has pride..yes God and man are exactly alike...Man is in God's own image to a T..an asshole.

GOD is the creation of man's own limited imagination and only what he knows and nothing more...love , war , and etc.

that is why there is so many questions that go unanswered...and never will be aswered...ever...but maybe I may answer one or two right now for one person...and that's all that matters to me.

Man needs punishment for bad behavior ...and rewards for good behavior..but what if you are good and love god but are never rewarded , on the contary you are miserable , sick or poor...well then...that's where Heaven and Hell comes in...it just fits their needs..it gives them hope for something better..

and it also gives many satifaction that their enemies who they percieve as "evil" will be punished in hell for eternity...that's a very powerful emotion and brings closure to those who may have been victimized by such people..

think of it..those who devote their lives to god while on earth that were never rewarded ..will get rewarded in heaven for etrnity with all of their loved ones..it's a very comforting and highly emotional thought to those who believe...I once did.

I said this so many times before..and it's all from the book..God created everything , he made the light and the dark..he made everything and god only has the power to create and control..NOT Satan!

he created Lucifer and gave him this "light" meaning the very knowledge of god himself without the power to create nor control ..he does have the power to influence , but only with God's consent..so if he inflences anything..it is condoned by God just as in the book of Job..and that was basically just to win a wager..

So Lucifer having the very same knowledge of God was debating with God about giving man "free agency"..instead Lucifer wanted to show man right from wrong so that God would not lose a single soul..but God didn't want that he wanted man to have free will and come to God if he wished..on his own. Lucifer and God had to know that man was much too weak a creature to handle such resposibility..

so a arguement ensued and he was tossed out of heaven with a third of his angels that sided with Lucifer..well because it made sense.. God was angry and with possibly pride hurt and threw then to Earth.. That's when the hatred for God came to be and Satan and his neverending quest to prove god wrong..and he started with adam and eve...and Satan won...and he's been winning that arguement ever since..

God became disgusted with man in the book of noah and wanted to wipe us out..with a 40 day 40 night enema..but there was one man that was without sin..so he spared him and his family and all the creatures of earth besides mankind..and that he did..

Ironically in the bible Noah was sodomized by his son in law or some family member I can't recall..but it read something to the effect that he laid down with noah as with woman..??..This was the best God could do?..this was the man "free of sin"...sounds like Noah's family would make those inbreeds from the movie Deliverance look like The Brady Bunch..

But man still exist and populates this earth with all the free will God gave him...look around...Satan was right..man can't handle free agency...not from the very start..From Adam and Even..to Caine and Able..man will choose evil over good most of the time..and he does...look at the mess Man has done..and will always do..man is the most evil creature on this planet all thanks to God..and his "free agency" BS

and everytime man fucks up which is constantly ..Satan laughs and says I told ya so..

what I just described is NOT satanism at all...but it is that theory that turned me to be a Satanist..which in fact made me a much stronger person who keeps my own best interest at stake instead of relying on others , God , faith , pipe dreams and superstition.

I take care of my own buisness because God doesn't care...because I believe..as far as that book is concerened..since that flood..he gave up on man..and never looked back..

I lost my faith completely soon as I became a cop and was exposed on a daily basis what a nasty , filthy creatures man is...what they do to others without remorse , to themselves and to me..God wasn't there nor does he show signs of ever being here or caring..

That is not a good father...but I am a father..and know what a good father means. I am God..to me and the closest thing to a GOD that my dear , family , and friends and myself well ever see...and that is what a GOD should be...that is what being a Satanist is really about....being your own God and taking matters into your own hands with reason and logic that is self preserving and taking care of the people you care for best interest..

I only care for those I love , and FUCK your enemy before they fuck you ..because they will and want to everday..but I'm always wise to them and three steps ahead of him....always!

Don't get me started on Jesus...because I have yet to see the fruits of his so called sacrifice..God sent him down basically as a cock block to Satan...but who got screwed in the end..Christ or Satan..

well actually Satan did...because he was punished for being just what god made him..too smart for his own good and it bit God in the ass...God being "all knowing" should have known that..so was God perfect...NO...he fucked up!

Jesus on the other hand..came from heaven and returned ther..and man still needs redemption to enter heaven before and after Christ's "sacrifice"..

I say this not to offend..but to explain and elighten..and maybe answer a few of those questions that were always left blank...

Read the Bible but read between the lines without the christian goggles on and you'll see my point..it is what is is...but is is the basis of ALL Christianity...so that's important!

Yes it was a book inteneded to guide us to do good ...but it is outdated , and we live in a world that is always changing as far as human needs go..but still confined to a silly , very bloody and poorly written book..by a bunch of monkeys that still didn't invent toilet paper...

BTW The bible and the christian faith as we know it is just a portion of it's original format, there is several books that was left omitted ...so Christians and all other whitelight based faith are based on only a portion of their religion....maybe some of those aswers were omitted with those books...they were chose buy man to be left out for a reason.

The bottomline to the way I live is...Treat others the way they treat you..you will never be a victim that way and less chance of leaving yourself open for disappointment.

I rather be a wolf in a world of sheeps than a sheep in a world of wolves.

Bill Z Bub.

[Top Jimmy B]

Re: Bill\'s Home

[ QUOTE ]
Don't get me started on Jesus...because I have yet to see the fruits of his so called sacrifice..God sent him down basically as a cock block to Satan...

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Jesus as a cock block - that's a new one. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Tommy, you'll be ok man. I understand the sweats but you can and will make it through this - you've bounced back before, why not this time?

As the others have said, much more eloquently, being a parent is the shit. The sight of my kids laughing and playing is the finest pain killer/medicine I know - their love is a drug; one you can be proud to be hooked on. [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]

[Emthrax]

Re: Bill\'s Home

[ QUOTE ]


Like I said God is a prick in that book...and he is exactly like man..he is petty , gets angry , has tantrums , has pride..yes God and man are exactly alike...Man is in God's own image to a T..an asshole.



[/ QUOTE ]

In my opinion... that is because the Bible was written by silly, pissed off men. I think every story in there is completely bogus. Like an ancient Grimm's Faery Tales. [img]/images/graemlins/eyes.gif[/img] Great bedtime reading! [img]/images/graemlins/popcorn.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]