Bill's New Home

[Top Jimmy B]

It's a sad state of affairs when this thread goes silent for so long.

So, my son punched me in the nut last night and hit me so hard it made me puke. We box and wrestle with each other every night after his bath(he's four) and last night I was distracted by the phone ringing and he took advantage of it. I was so proud of him.

Man, he cold cocked my ball right into my gut and I thought I was gonna die. I had never been hit that hard and perfectly in my sack before and was just floored by immediacy of the pain and projectile vomiting.

eVan started crying, hugigng me and rubbing my hair because of how quickly I went down...I felt bad for the boy. The first thing he asked me this morning was, "Daddy, does your hammer still hurt?" Yes, my boy - it does...like a mother.

We have been solo all week with my wife and daughter away for a dance competition, so we've been eating like college boys and the house is a wreck - it's great. I need to get my ass in gear tomorrow though before the general gets home or my pain will be much more severe.

[Cleveland Metal]

Well, Bill hasn't been here because of a lot stuff happening, with himself on his birthday with the dog fight etc, finding his dog somewhere safe to be, and now his bro getting shot on duty.

He's in good spirits as of lst night tho, the dog found a nice home it seems. His bro is in stable but critical condition, should pull through tho. And Bill is trying to make amends and spend some time with his family to get his head together. He may not be on here for a day or three.

[lerxstcat]

Thanks for the word, John. I didn't expect Bill, I know he's got way too much on his plate right now. Really kind of pissed at myself that I wasn't posting here, I think Bill feels better when he comes back and this thread has been active in his abscence. Lets him know he truly created a monster!

Geez Jimmy, sounds like your boy's a tough 'un! Bring him with you on collection calls! You better start cleaning up though, you're right, the wimmens don't dig the messy house. She will still find signs of laxity no matter what you do, but the less the better for you!

[horns666]

Hey Guys, Jimmy, Oh boy..be careful..you silly ass..my kid is getting pretty strong and wants to wrestle me sometimes..and I got to watch it..because of my neck..wouldn't take much for that to happen..

Vinny just had he cast removed, so it won't be a while before we could play around again..

Rich, thatnk you for your kind words and encouragement..I thank every and anyone of you for this

Tommy called me today, what a nice surprise that was..

Guys , I've been in a pretty dark place since I retired..and that's when I became a memeber here..

I must accept the fact that it is no longer my job to deal with bad people..I never leave the house because I haven't learned how to let that whole mindset go yet..

So, I feel compelled to play catch up with my family and not let the energy of assholes ruin our fun..I must tune that out..I'll work it thru...baby steps..

I'm leaving the house..what a shock..I'm going to take Vinny out for ice cream just like a normal person does..I'm going to go with him to the video store instead of sendig my wife..I'm going to take this by the horns instead of passing the buck to my wife..she does enough for me already..

I need to make it up to her too, I will let her take a nap..while I do this, so then we can watch a movie and get a pizza later..that's all I want..

I want to releax and learn to go out and breathe gain..

This forum was my entire social outlet..sharing my silly moments along with my frustrations..and anger.

This thread should be just that for our circle of friends..this is a free for all..venting, silly misc. stuff that well..we all can share together..just our friends..

ANTHING you guys want to share or just be a silly dick..it goes right here..

So I may not always be home ..but this home is YOUR home too..it's yours as well as mine..you made it a home..so use it as such..

My friend Steve will pull thru this, I'm sure he will retire with a very good pension..he and his family derserves it!

Meanwhile I am finally go to start appreciateing my retirement instead of resenting it..

I couldn't go back if I wanted to..so I have no choice other than to accept it..I better make the best of it..

I feel like I have 5 years worth of catching up, making up, and making good with my family..I didn't see it..it took my dad to kick me up the ass ...he said I should be happier than a pig in shit..I have evertthing any man could want..and still I'm sad..and why..all because of a mindset..and pain..well the pain will be there..but I can change the mindset.

I'm my worst enemy..I need to make friends with me again..

I don't like me sometimes..I don't like how I talk to my family, people in genral..I did to cut that shit ..NOW!

I'm still the same guys that was behind that badge..I still no how to do all those things I was trained for..I'll use them only if I need to..

But I won't need to, people don't pick on people like me..I am not a victim..I don't talk, look or act like a victim..and people pick up on that enemrgy..I can do that withought wearing a "bad ass" mask or playing any roles..

Like an actor who becaomes the role he plays for so long..he buys into it as his reality..

I had to play a "role" as a cop..I need not to play that "role" anymore..

I hope this explains some things..I know people here either rewlly love me or hate me..I'm used to that..I been like that ever since I was a kid..as long as I can remeber..

There is no .."Bill is OK"..I never hear that one..

I get ignored bye people I don't gel with

OR, I make freinds with people like yourselves..where it's like a brotherhood..I don't want or need or try to make everyone like me..

I just do my thing, and just let things happen..

But I think alot of you already know this by now..Rich, Tommy, Ron, Timmy, Tommy, Emmy, Jack, Fragle, Dave, ..well you know who you are.. ; )

I'll be around...

OH, Harley is gone, I found a home for him..I also was up front and honest with the person assuming responsibility and had him sign a disclaimer..Bulldogs are expensive..so he was more than will to sign for a free one and give it a go..I hope things work out..

Harley was never given the chance to beome the dog that he could have been,,I hope, he could blossom!

[VitaminG]

Some really interesting points in yur post, Bill. Particularly about the role you needed to play as a cop and that you've continued to play that role into your retirement. Sounds like you're really sorting your shit out now, Bill. Great to hear it. And heading to the store!? Grab me a peppermint choc chip cone while your there, eh?

[atomic charvel guy]

Come out to BCB Billy, i'm glad you're cool today. I gotta work on the weekend and the passing out and the other fun shit i do on the weekend. take care man. Glad we spoke. A lot.

[RacerX]

[lerxstcat]

Bill, you would LOVE BCB... er... Huntington Beach! It's like being in DLR's California Girls video. Only problem is you could aggravate your neck doing double-takes - might wanna get the sunglasses with rearview mirrors in them! Tommy's right, it really is paradise! I spent more time in Santa Monica and Venice, but it's much the same throughout SoCal! I fucking miss that place, and hell, wish I'd have known Tommy when I was there! Birds of a feather, except he's more of a ladies' man. You really should visit, Tommy, Ron, Ace, JRE are all there and I know I'm forgetting several others.... the mind is the first to go you know..

[Jack The Riffer]

Bill, glad to hear you're moving on with your life and not dwelling on shit. That's what I try to do when the shit gets deep around here and believe me it gets fucking deep alot!! I think that life kinda makes death more appealing.
I don't fear death I welcome it but I WILL NOT force it. I just live life with a certain freedom because with my way of thinking I just say, What's the worst that could happen? I die?

[sevser]

Shit! It's been waaay too long since I have been around these parts! Do you guys even remember me?

So much has been going on out in the real, tangable world I don't find the time I used to.

Bill, I wish you and yours the very best wishes...Thats fucked up that a person risks his life for people every day to get shot by some useless fuck! So good to know he will pull through!

[VitaminG]

Dave! Good to see you back, man. I figure you've probably got about 80 pages of reading to catchup in this thread alone!

[sevser]

Yes, much catching up to do...Can't let this life get in the way of my JCF so damn much! haha!

The female can do that to ya...;O) that includes Daughters, ex's, Mothers, Grandmothers, Sisters...FUCK! My life is ruled by women!!!

Found me a good one on this little hiatus though :O)

Gotta go to a gig tonight at the University here...Whish us luck!!!

[lerxstcat]

Hey Dave, good to "see" you! Have a kickass show tonight - I'm sure you will, as usual!

[Cleveland Metal]

Sooooo, how'd it go bro??? Good show? I'll have to check your MySpace...

[sevser]

Show went great last night...I'll have to post some clips on the Severed site...Got some funny clips too!!!

Funny John...I just dropped you a comment on Myspace about 10 minutes agao \m/