Bill's New Home

[horns666]

I listened to so much Blue Murder.. just the mere mention of it..the entire album races through my head in one big blur..

I love Jack Nicholson..he's awesome..but I don't want to feel depressed..I want to pinch a loaf..but I can;t poop..

So I'm eating lots of Raisin Bran right now..in an effort to heave the Havana..

I should play my Uber..and my 7 string..maybe the low freqs will aid me to build a stool..

E ..I'm not queer oir nuthin'..But Jorne Lande's voice makes me moist!

Oh... that's right..

FUGGUMS

Rev B Fuggums

[Endrik]

ok, what about such a badass movie as Beyond The Valley Of Dolls, it was my favourite movie when I was 12 or sumtin'.... I think my grandma didn't liked that I watched it with such a big interest so

FUGGUMS

[Top Jimmy B]

So, last week my wife tells me, and our two children, that she is moving out, after eleven years of marriage, to "find herself". Needless to say, we are all messed up over this and completely blindsided by it.

In her honor I throw this out on behalf of my devasted children...

FUGGHER!!

Would it be wrong for me to pray to the baby jesus that she gets genital warts? Please advise.

[atomic charvel guy]

I'm sorry man. that fukkin' really sucks the big one TBF. I'm sorry dude.
here, you might have missed this-

This winter should be the epicenter of a real live bender, we'll all go to the NAMM show for 10 minutes or so, and then it's off to the BAMM show.
BOXASSMAMMORYMEMORIES LIVE IN BCB STARRING THE BIGGEST HEADACHES ON THE BOARD, filmed in it's finest moments, and directed by
Atomic Charcoal Guy, Sweet William the 3rd of Fuggum, Johnny 'young Box" Cleveland, Endrink Maripanic, Jack the Designated Magic Carpet Rider Riffer, LurksBCBStreetCats, Viagramin G, and in his first appearance on film ever, Tar Baby Fraser, StuperJU87, and any other people who have posted on the internet and want to have a sick couple of nights while the NAMM show gets completely upstaged by the BAMM show, a fabulous disaster that will be nothing but outregeous fun and easily put together. I think I need to have one true masterpiece bender from which to be remembered by whenever my time comes. Don't worry about any police action, high costs of beverages, fuel for the carpet to cruise on, and fuel to make it something to remember only through the magic of film as nobody would believe it anyway. Who's in? we'll treat it like a limited run of custom guitars but it's unlimited. Last one standing gets his head beaten in for making noise. i can picture us all there right now all hanging upside down from the living room ceiling sleeping until it gets dark out again. This could be good. PM me for choice spots.
__________________

[horns666]

So, last week my wife tells me, and our two children, that she is moving out, after eleven years of marriage, to "find herself". Needless to say, we are all messed up over this and completely blindsided by it.

In her honor I throw this out on behalf of my devasted children...

FUGGHER!!

Would it be wrong for me to pray to the baby jesus that she gets genital warts? Please advise.

Jimmy, You gotta be shittin' me..your kiddin..No your NOT..I can't believe this, yes I can ..11 years and she wants to "find herself" WTF is that..OK..been there.

I'd say THIS .."Oh you want to find yourself.."Oh I can help ..here's a fuggin' mirror..see that, that's a asshole..what the fuck are you thinking..do you think the grass is greener..well it's not..do you feel like your just a mom..just a wife..guess what baby..that's exactly what your are, deal with it..so you want to run away..peachy..don't let the door hit you in the fuggin' ass..later..but as soon as you're out there finding yourself with our kids..I'm finding some ass..whatta ya think of that..yeah, that's right..because I don't know what's in your crazy head..so I may as well..as far as I'm concerned as soon as you leave, It's open game and I'm a free man..

Jimmy I actually did this..it works bro..

So, I'll continue..

that's right..go..leave..later..but don't think your coming back..because I'm changing the fuggin' locks so you don't embarrass me when I got some young bitch or bitches suggin' my dick..so do me the fuggin' favor..go..go runaway like a weak, little pathetic asshole..so I can get some fresh fuggin' ass..ya damn right!!

You see Jimmy..a girl WILL leave you in a heartbeat if she KNOWS you will be miserable..but if she think you're going to have a party with girls in her fuggin' house..she'll change her tune really fuggin' quick!!!

guess how I know this..I heard this same song and dance about 16 years ago..she found herself quick..

well it worked for me and she NEVER went there again..it'll be 19 years for me November 14th

I'm serious bro..put your game face on..and and say THAT shit, not in front of the kids, because you gotta roll with this with a straight face and convicyion..fuggit..well if she's going to leave..she's going to leave, as soon as you're at work she'll bnail like a theif in the night, and clean house too..I seen that shit....So make her feel REALLY uneasy doing it..so uneasy..she don't want to leave anymore..headgames man..call her bluff and raise her..I'm tellin' you..I know this shit!!!

I'm the master at this shit!!

Jimmy..I am here for you ..we are here for you

I am sending all my fire and venom right now..you feel that energy..I know you do..that's right..fuck yeah..fuck yeah..you grab this fucker by the horns like the man you are and you drive it into the ground, and keep that ground..I know you'll want to give in because you love her and you really care, and emotions are high..positive anger bro..positive anger..let that anger get things done YOUR way..I KNOW this..but..you gotta take this stance..your at that crossroad man..

Talk to me Jimmy..talk to me!

Oh waite..I gotta do this..I'll do this one in red for you!

FUGGUMS!!!!!!

[horns666]

See what happend is..some dude..I'm not saying this is certain..some fuggin' assface dickhole ..that she confided in and vented to at work, or wherever..blew smoke up her us..telling her..oh I would do this.. I would do that if you were with me..that's just a possibility..

when a girl wants to leave, they prolly already have an agenda..she's on the fence about this..knock her off the fence..I'm not sayin' she's fuggin'..but she might be thinkin' about it..but she loves you..that's why she's thinkin' about it and on the fence and ddidn't leave yet..knock her off that fence man..by turning the tables..with that above spew..headgames.

painful stuff bro..but this shit is real..I seen it so many times.

Bill Z..

shit waite..

FUGGUMS

[horns666]

This happened to one of my best freinds Scott DelPizzo..awesome drummer and dude and chicks LOVED him.. in my VH band..some wall street assmunch blew smoke up Lisa's ass..and you bought it..

Scott had to sell his cherry '62 Corvette for the divorce..he lost his jon of over 20 years and said fuggit..I'm movin' to Tamp..where he struck gold and met a awesome chick worth 4.5 mill and bought him a brand new Vette for his birthday..they are still together after 4 years and just built a home right on the water and he's never been happier..

Lisa'as mom still hounds him because she went nuts..total psycho and on all kinds of meds and shit..Mr. wall street moved her in fucked her like a blow up doll and kicked her out in two weeks..

the only BAD thing is he raised her one year old son and was married to her for 11 years..you that was really his son..and Scott was the only Dad he knew..that part hurts..but he moved on..and he keeps in contact with Tony and sees him often..I guess she gained like 60 pounds ..she was a really pretty girl too..she's on my VH trib video dancin' with Val..to "Pretty Woman"..

her excuse was..she didn't want to be with a long hair Rocker anymore..yeesh!!

She wanted a dude in a suite and tie and a BMW and shit..she got that right up the fuggin' ass.

[horns666]

I'd LOVE to go hang out with Tommy at BCB..that would be truly fucked up ..tits and ass..tits and ass..tits and ass..I can't touch..but I love the attention and I love tits and ass..

FUGGUMS

[Top Jimmy B]

Bill, you know, you're probably right. Her best friend is a Filipina chick who married a 70 year old dude to gain access to the country. Guess what she did earlier this year? Yep, walked out on her husband and daughter - no warning. I know this is the impetus behind her decision - she is being led by the friend. "I married young, I have only experienced life with you..." Blah!!!

As for trying to keep her here - not happening - she has moved into her one bedroom apartment. I've already closed all joint accounts and cancelled my credit cards. As far as I am concerned, she now has to work her ass off to get back in. Leaving me is one thing, but leaving her children without an explanation - not cool. How do you trust someone when they say they want to come back, after doing this?

I'll give her time to see what she wants. I do love her and I want to remain married to her, but if this is about her getting stuck full of dick...we're done. I've told her that I will make her car payment for and I paid her first months rent but after that the money stops. I've spoken to my lawyer and he claims that because she left without the kids I am not entitled to do anything else. He's also my uncle so he may just be blowing me on this.

I appreciate the advice to whore around, but it's not going to happen. She's still my wife and my feelings, while bitter, are still there for her and I can't cheat...I'm not wired for that. So, I will consol myself with hours in the strip clubs and going home to enjoy my blue ball.

Bill, Tommy - I'll call you guys when my head comes back. I'm too fugged up right now dealing with the kids and their emotions. They are the priority and I need to be there for them. Jesus, they're too young to have to experience this shit.

[VitaminG]

yoik! That's fucked up, Jimmy. Sorry to hear it. I've got no advice for you - I'm pretty useless dealing with people - but I hope you can sort things out.

[npacheco]

I appreciate the advice to whore around, but it's not going to happen. She's still my wife and my feelings, while bitter, are still there for her and I can't cheat...I'm not wired for that. So, I will consol myself with hours in the strip clubs and going home to enjoy my blue ball.

Bill, Tommy - I'll call you guys when my head comes back. I'm too fugged up right now dealing with the kids and their emotions. They are the priority and I need to be there for them. Jesus, they're too young to have to experience this shit.

Awesome way to look at this Jimmy. Remember, you may be losing a wife, but the kids may be losing a mom. That's tougher. Sounds like you have your head and emotions in the right place to come out of this OK no matter what the outcome is, Keep you're head up.


Edit:

Just for Bill.......FUGGUM

[atomic charvel guy]

I say if you have the time and ability to bail out of work , yank the kids out of school for just a couple of days and take a cool road trip somewhere. You're a good man Tar Baby Fraser, a strong man, and explain to them that you're always
gonna be there and never take off, (except if you come to see me, want them to grow up normally and rightya know)and you guys could have a minor little riot in this tough time. I say hurl everything onto, in fact, hurl it over the backburner and have some serious fun with them right now. Any rollercoaster joints up there or anything, you know what to do, but trust me when I say chuck it and go do something really outta sight with the kids, i'm sure they're feaked right now. Fun is always a great opiate, although it ultimately will come to atime of serious discussion depending on what happens with you and your wife. I hope she comes to her senses. Tonite, drop a little surprise on them, yo little cats, we're outta here too, we're going to go to-----------(fill in the space) and say no school for the rest of the week. I am nobody to give advice, but you 'll have a rip too , and just bail and come up with a tar baby fraser great idea.

[horns666]

Bill, you know, you're probably right. Her best friend is a Filipina chick who married a 70 year old dude to gain access to the country. Guess what she did earlier this year? Yep, walked out on her husband and daughter - no warning. I know this is the impetus behind her decision - she is being led by the friend. "I married young, I have only experienced life with you..." Blah!!!

As for trying to keep her here - not happening - she has moved into her one bedroom apartment. I've already closed all joint accounts and cancelled my credit cards. As far as I am concerned, she now has to work her ass off to get back in. Leaving me is one thing, but leaving her children without an explanation - not cool. How do you trust someone when they say they want to come back, after doing this?

I'll give her time to see what she wants. I do love her and I want to remain married to her, but if this is about her getting stuck full of dick...we're done. I've told her that I will make her car payment for and I paid her first months rent but after that the money stops. I've spoken to my lawyer and he claims that because she left without the kids I am not entitled to do anything else. He's also my uncle so he may just be blowing me on this.

I appreciate the advice to whore around, but it's not going to happen. She's still my wife and my feelings, while bitter, are still there for her and I can't cheat...I'm not wired for that. So, I will consol myself with hours in the strip clubs and going home to enjoy my blue ball.

Bill, Tommy - I'll call you guys when my head comes back. I'm too fugged up right now dealing with the kids and their emotions. They are the priority and I need to be there for them. Jesus, they're too young to have to experience this shit.

Sorry Jimmy I understand..This remeinds me of Kramer VS Kramer..now..that movie fucked me up even before I had a kid..I still hate Meyrl Streep(sp), that bitch!

Listen I don't want you to cheat..it just scare tactics..ya know..that's where I was going with all of that..just saying OK..if you walk out..I'm gonna get laid..the thought of you getting laid in THEI home is like a no no too..ya know..it goes both ways..

This is fucked up..she's already out..and your with the kiddies..awww fuck!!

You made her car payment and shit..awww, I must say, I think I would be so mad, I wouldn't help her with a damn thing..you wanna leave..OK then..oh well..you don't need me..you don't need the kids right now..then you don't need MY money..when we're together it's OUR money..when you leave..it's MY money and then you go YOUR money..fuggit..

If we divorce..then I guess I'll let my uncle handle it..

Maybe she'll come to her sense..but don't make it cozy for her..I wouldn't..she gave you and the kids stress ..so she shares that stress too, emotionally, finacially , everything..

Yeah,..Jimmy no you don't need broads right now..I was just saying that to hand her as a scare tactic..so maybe she wouldn't leave..

My dad always said this to me and this is TRUE..a woman will leave you if she knows you'll be miserable..she won't go anywhere thinking you'll be happy...that's where I was going..

No right now your kids need you and you need them just as much..this sucks..I hope she comes tio her senses..you're a good dude..I don't make freind with dicks..no fuggin' way..you know me..

man, she's being clouded by something..is she depressed or something..takking AD meds or something..or mybe she needs them..this happends to woman after they have kids sometimes..I dunno..

well none of this is realy my biz..I just dealt with alot of these scenarios on the job, with friends and my own relationship and shit..you know ..

Well I hope thing will go OK ..one way or the other..your a good guy and dad and husband..so the kids will be OK..just take care of yourself..and hopefully she'll work out whatever bug is up her ass.

I'm pissed off..my blood pressure got to be thru the roof..my head is throbbin'..I hate seeing and hearing my freinds go thru this shit

I'm so pissed off..I am..I'm pissed of for you..I'm pissed off for your kids..I'm throwin' her some bad vibes right now..she needs to get her ass home..

we will see..

Hey Jimmy..she ever do this before..just for a short while any warning signs or something??

Just thinkin..This is like Kramer VS Kramer..what made her leave..it sounds like the same crap..

Things will work out one way or the other..you just hang in there man..take care of the kids..that's all..your not even in the mood for biches..yeah fuggum..fuggim all right now..ya know..I'm gonna punch my wife right now..just because..that's what I think..I gotta yell at least..I already told her about your situation..she knows your name pretty good, cuz I always bring you up every now and then..

Damn!

your friend,

Bill


OK..I gotta take a shower and wash my ass..I been typing like a dick all Day..and Vinny wants his candy..the candy we bought to pass out.."Fuggum dad, that's our candy!!"..

[horns666]

Awesome way to look at this Jimmy. Remember, you may be losing a wife, but the kids may be losing a mom. That's tougher. Sounds like you have your head and emotions in the right place to come out of this OK no matter what the outcome is, Keep you're head up.


Edit:

Just for Bill.......FUGGUM

Thanks dude and welcome to my humble abode at the JCF..

Jimmy's story gave me a fuggin' rash..

NPacheco.. Thank you, thanks for the Fuggums..what's your name man..

OK dudes..I talk to ya later..Vin wants to jam and watch a movie and eat candy and give kids the finger..

I'm pissed and now I'm laughing and I got a headache.

Bill

[npacheco]

Thanks dude and welcome to my humble abode at the JCF..

Jimmy's story gave me a fuggin' rash..

NPacheco.. Thank you, thanks for the Fuggums..what's your name man..

Bill

The name's Pacheco, Noe Pacheco Thanks for the welcome, I think I'll make myself at home .

And since I'm getting off work....FUGGIT