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  • Originally posted by Jimmy B View Post
    Again with the fuckin balls talk - dude, STOP PLURALIZING IT!!! You trying to hurt my feelings?
    That's right..I'm sorry Jimmy..

    You know, I worked with a guy in the same office with one ball..oh boy, he was very sensitive one night...he actually went off me because I think I said the word "balls" like 1,513 times ...and he couldn't take it no more..

    As he was going off one of the guys laughed ..which made me kinda laugh..which made him laugh..he's was a cool as shit guy..I think he felt worse than I did..for goin' off

    I said to him.."Don, I'm Italian and shit, and that word to me is like the word "what" to you"..he knew..he was just havin' a bad day or some shit..and all he heard from me was..my ass, my dick my balls for a hours..because that's how I talk, and that usually made hi laugh..but hey..what are ya gonna do..fuggit.

    My dad, of all people ..who showed me how to talk is all sensitive at the dinner table now, and always slaps me in the head if I say something that strikes him stupid..I don't get it.. I said to him .."Dad, you fuggin' &$@#@ up people and shit on Christmas morn..and now this bothers you"..
    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

    Comment


    • Let me share a little love with my homies..and bring you into my world for a little bit..

      I'm like an old grouchy fucker today..I walk like Fred Sanford..yeah no shit..just like him. My back is fuggin' killin' me..I'm in a lousy, fucked mood because of it and I got wood..WOOD!

      I'm not talkin' about a little semi-chub or fluffy..noooo..I,m talkin' 'bout full blown, 5 alarm, red alert, I have to go to the chalkboard in 6th grade kinda wood..I wear sweatpants around the house..I can't even hide it around my family..I try with the kid in the room..

      But whenever he leaves I flash that shit to my wife and go.."hah...you like that??"..while smilin' like a dick!

      So where does that leave me..happily married that's where..I'm so fuggin' glad I don't have to try to impress some young strange..with my "game"

      ..oh shit my game dwindled in my age..I used to climb aboard shit and hump my brains out..for hours..on one leg..

      Now I'm just like a dildo strapped to a ironing board..and I just lay there like a dolphin that ate some bad tuna..but that's OK..my wife lost her game too..kinda.. so it's all good..as long as she gets hers and I get mine..(approx 10 minutes)..that's good!

      Fuggit..

      But I got this fuggin' wood constantly..I could be pissed off at the neighbors, helpin' the kid with his homework or whatever..it don't matter..I go out there pitching a tent..fuggit.

      I'm 43 years old and I pop boingers like I'm 13..

      It's agravating...besides, what's the use, my kid is the biggest cock blocker on the planet...he won't go to sleep!

      So I guess I'll just enter a three legged race by myself..at least it'll get some use.
      Last edited by horns666; 07-06-2007, 03:22 AM. Reason: I got wood!
      "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
      Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

      "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

      Comment


      • I never had any game, i just naturally incite riots, benders, and luckily for me when i was tossing my money around like it was nothing it always came with girls atatched to the package. I guesss that was my game, but it was a natural act and still is.
        Jimmy B, after your visit here, you'll go home with three balls as you will sprout 2 new ones while your here you tri-balling fembot boofing bad motherfukker!!!!!!!!!!!! gettin' close to the 25th!!!
        Not helping the situation since 1965!

        Comment


        • Duuuuuudes. Whassup.
          You don't have to answer that, dear Brothuh BillZ, I can see what's up with you from way over here.
          God DAYUM!

          Comment


          • Originally posted by Emthrax View Post
            Duuuuuudes. Whassup.
            You don't have to answer that, dear Brothuh BillZ, I can see what's up with you from way over here.
            God DAYUM!
            EMMY!!!!
            Holy shit in a Easter baskett..

            Your timing is impeccable...Just like Jmmy's whenever I say "Balls" or "ass eatin".!!!!:ROTF:

            How ya doin' my dear sis!! yeah, I'm in one of those moods where I just don't give a damn, but when do I ever...you may notice that by everything I've posted on the other threads..

            I think I turned about 7 or 8 threads of various topics about my balls. So, nothing has changed in the slightest!

            Oh, yeah..the above post..it's somethin' that's been aggravating me really..most guys would be happy with this condition. I was alot more happy about it a few years back..but my back is killin' me..and my mood sucks ass. You'd think I wouldn't have this malfunction, but I do. Val's always givin' me shit about it. Nothing I can do really. Vinny is up all fuggin' night and can't get his ass to go to sleep. So I flash her all day..it breaks the monotony..and it's a classy move..because I care.

            Well, I hope all is good with you..I talked to TY for the first time in months.. We talked for a couple hours. His drummer from Soulless, who I want..is now with John Comprix (Ripper's dude) in Ringworm..they have topical cream for that shit. Those two prolly sound pretty good together. So, it's weird..John wanted to record my shit for a while..and Chris was too busy to fuck with me..so with John and Ty in that camp..things just may allign..but who knows.

            I'm still writing shit and playing it with Vinny..who's getting damn good, even on guitar!..I just may use him, since we put the parts togethers and he knows the stuff..we'll see. that would be really cool.

            Ty has been making lots of $$$ with his cover gig Mind Riot. He had to cancel a couple gigs just so he can go to work...he's pretty spent. We're going to hook up in a couple days..that's always cool.

            I feel pretty good because Ty is always getting offers to do "original" stuff with everyone..he won't touch it..he said we are that team..so why bother!

            Exactly!

            Emmy, Don't be a stanger..you brighten up the fuggin'
            place..stop by and say "hey" more often..

            Your Bro,

            Bill Z
            "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
            Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

            "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

            Comment


            • Hey Bro,

              Ty's voice is beautiful, and I'm glad to hear that he's gettin' on and doing what he does best. And I'm glad that y'all hooked up and had a nice chat too, that's the bees knees!

              Awesome idea to rock with Vinny, man. Seems that I've been telling you that would be the way to go for, oh, a few years now! He's getting bigger and handsomer and probably pretty damn good. He already was so he can only getter better and faster. Good times ahead.
              I'd like to hear more of your stuff, I know you have riffs comin' outta yer ass. :ROTF:

              Sorry to hear about your, er, problem. It could be WORSE! It could be the other way around! I read through the latest posts in your obscenely long thread here and all I could think of was the 40 Year Old Virgin Andy dude on the phone to some Pakistani hotline viagra dude: "Hi, yes, I'm calling because, uh, it's been more than four hours and your ad said to call if it's been more than four hours?"

              Yeah, rockin' right along out here. It would take way too long to update but we're doing great. The Keith and I have taken up Jeep'n so we're gone A LOT and we've been doing a lot of camping getting in touch with nature. It is GORGEOUS out here.
              Here's my Jeep, a 2003 TJ Sahara and she's MINE. I picked out the tires myself. Cooper Discoverer STTs (31s)



              I have big news but can't spill the beans entirely. Kinda in a band. Guitar, lead vocals and backing vocals. Male/Female fronted band.
              Lots of work going on music-wise with my own stuff and these guys too, so much happening my head is spinning but its fuggin' awesome times. I've been so busy with music and being out and about it's why I haven't been around these parts for awhile. Think of you guys often though!
              I will try better to not be a stranger. I've got my shit together a lot better now that we're settled in and all.

              Rock,
              Emmy

              Comment


              • That is one of my all time favorite movies..Yes, with the match, you take that hot ember and place it on your wrist and that will divert your attention from your erection..

                I love that drunk chick scene.."do you think I'm pretty...you're not looking at me...LOOK AT ME!!!"...Andy.."Yes, your prety your pretty.. please, I don't want to die!!

                Steve is one hairy fucker..wow, much more than be...Vinny says I look like that big guy..build wise...when he's in the bathroom with that horny girl..He saw that scene..he likes that scene way too much..with the showerhead..oh boy...

                I Think you spilled the beans a little with the male/female thing..if my assumption is correct...I dunno.

                I heard a feamle fronted metal band and thought of you..I only heard one song once..the band is called "In This Moment"...it grabbed my attention.

                Nice Jeep, I think that's what Val wants next..she always liked them. I checked out a wrangler years ago, and man tghe suspension was so stiff I was bouncing around. So I got here a Gio Tracker..a blk covertible 4X4..we had that thing for a very long time..we put alot of miles on that little fucker..the ride was still bumby..but not as much as the Wrangler..Vinny was a baby..in a carseat..we wanted him to bounce as little as possible. My sister just bought a Jeep Liberty..and she's got a PT cruiser convertible too..she loves both.

                Val's still content with her Ford Focus..I'll take that, and get her something..that may be Vinny's 1st car..that's coming soon..4 years..OMFG?

                You seem very happy with The Keith and the kiddos in PA..instead of Texass...that's awesome. Tell 'em I said hello..You were not happy there..with the people, the picos, and the schools..

                Maqn Vinny refused to go to sleep..he went to bed but he was up 'till 8:00 AM..keeping me up..then he crashed..and now I'm all fucked up and tired..big time!

                He's gonna be up alone later with Val..because I don't think I'm gonna make it..I want KFC tonight..that's what I want dammit..and I'm gonna put on the 40 year old virgin on AGAIN..I have the dvd..it's great.."Hey hey hey..muthafuckaaaaa".."We're gonna need mo wax"...that entire movie cracks me up..That's Val's very favorite movie..she watched it about 25 times..I shit you not...I've only seen it about 15!

                I been tellin' John to get that movie for two years now..but he won't..

                That is a movie you have to see a couple times to absorb all the funny shit because there's so much of it..like Borat..it was funnier the second time I saw it...same as Clerks 2

                Have fun with your Jeep..it's schweeet! It's supposed to rain I guess..I dunno..It's too hot and muggy for me so I'm in my cave wearing my cape and it's 71 degrees in here..I'm actually cold.

                OK, I'm gonna bail for now..I got to do something..I'm going cross-eyed.

                I can't waite to hear what you been doin'..

                Talk to ya later..see we had to catch up..so we ramble...but that's OK..
                "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                Comment


                • That is one of my all time favorite movies..Yes, with the match, you take that hot ember and place it on your wrist and that will divert your attention from your erection..

                  I love that drunk chick scene.."do you think I'm pretty...you're not looking at me...LOOK AT ME!!!"...Andy.."Yes, your prety your pretty.. please, I don't want to die!!

                  Steve is one hairy fucker..wow, much more than be...Vinny says I look like that big guy..build wise...when he's in the bathroom with that horny girl..He saw that scene..he likes that scene way too much..with the showerhead..oh boy...

                  I Think you spilled the beans a little with the male/female thing..if my assumption is correct...I dunno.

                  I heard a feamle fronted metal band and thought of you..I only heard one song once..the band is called "In This Moment"...it grabbed my attention.

                  Nice Jeep, I think that's what Val wants next..she always liked them. I checked out a wrangler years ago, and man tghe suspension was so stiff I was bouncing around. So I got here a Gio Tracker..a blk covertible 4X4..we had that thing for a very long time..we put alot of miles on that little fucker..the ride was still bumby..but not as much as the Wrangler..Vinny was a baby..in a carseat..we wanted him to bounce as little as possible. My sister just bought a Jeep Liberty..and she's got a PT cruiser convertible too..she loves both.

                  Val's still content with her Ford Focus..I'll take that, and get her something..that may be Vinny's 1st car..that's coming soon..4 years..OMFG?

                  You seem very happy with The Keith and the kiddos in PA..instead of Texass...that's awesome. Tell 'em I said hello..You were not happy there..with the people, the picos, and the schools..

                  Maqn Vinny refused to go to sleep..he went to bed but he was up 'till 8:00 AM..keeping me up..then he crashed..and now I'm all fucked up and tired..big time!

                  He's gonna be up alone later with Val..because I don't think I'm gonna make it..I want KFC tonight..that's what I want dammit..and I'm gonna put on the 40 year old virgin on AGAIN..I have the dvd..it's great.."Hey hey hey..muthafuckaaaaa".."We're gonna need mo wax"...that entire movie cracks me up..That's Val's very favorite movie..she watched it about 25 times..I shit you not...I've only seen it about 15!

                  I been tellin' John to get that movie for two years now..but he won't..

                  That is a movie you have to see a couple times to absorb all the funny shit because there's so much of it..like Borat..it was funnier the second time I saw it...same as Clerks 2

                  Have fun with your Jeep..it's schweeet! It's supposed to rain I guess..I dunno..It's too hot and muggy for me so I'm in my cave wearing my cape and it's 71 degrees in here..I'm actually cold.

                  OK, I'm gonna bail for now..I got to do something..I'm going cross-eyed.

                  I can't waite to hear what you been doin'..

                  Talk to ya later..see we had to catch up..so we rambled ...but that's OK..

                  Bill Z Bro..
                  "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                  Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                  "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                  Comment


                  • july 6th- 19 days until the rapture.
                    Not helping the situation since 1965!

                    Comment


                    • Tommy...I mentioned to Val and Vinny about venturing from here something NEVER do..and commin' out there..

                      Let me give this thought, I really want to come hand with you and E..but feel insecure about leaving home..I'm the watchdog, the king , master and ruler of my home...dude, I am the only god they know..Vinny would chew Val up in one day without me..she can't handle him, not without me..yeesh

                      Seriously, whenever we have family meetings..I wear a nazi helmet!

                      I look like such a dick with it on...my dad gave it to me.

                      I wanna come out..just for a couple days..Shit I never fly..I never do that..but I'd have to..

                      Cleveland to BCB...I would have to call for prices and schedule a flight..is that how that shit works..I worked at the airport..but I just talk to girls, and pound on assholes all day..that was my duty!

                      I miss that!
                      "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                      Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                      "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                      Comment


                      • BillZ on orbitz.com booking a flight... i sense a disturbance in the force.

                        what's the deal here? Endrik is flying to Happy Town to see Fruitbat?! Endrik.... aren't you in Estonia?! That is some flight, man.
                        Whoah... good times will be HAD!!!

                        Hi Tommy. I miss you.

                        Comment


                        • i'll have to get back on this thread tomorrow.. way too much to read at ..2:40 in the morning! SHIT! i got to be up at 8..

                          just chiming in to say... anybody that's been getting shit latelly.. hang in there. i was in shitville when i broke up with my ex.

                          now.. i've just got home from 2 gigs in a row, with a VERY dear friend (not deer friend bill.. there's a difference ) and we've been out since 4:30 pm

                          and that's just one part. since then i met paul gilbert, tony macalpine and jammed with marvin taylor (in a very very VERY drunk state.. on all ends. we were at his gig, then stayed a bit longer, then he and the band joined us!)

                          so, just do what you do, be true to yourselves and fuck everybody else. if it's a female, then fuck em twice and give em the shocker.
                          You can't play no muthfuggin' arpeggios on a tuba...

                          Comment


                          • Dude, just pay for your plane ticket, I have the rest covered, no inconveniences, no humidity, no mosquitos, no headaches, no need for screens, and you need a blanket at night in the middle of summer as the ocean breeze chills it down and you sleep like a charm, hot or cold, cuz you'll be smashed. Lambasted, Schnockered, shithoused, fukked up, floatin' on a cloud of tities, taking punches and not feeling a thing, throwing punches and not feeling a thing, waking up to the smell of salt air and the calm sound of waves when they're breaking. c'mon dude, you can handle a couple of days , and bring Johnny before we lose him to that horrible word-Employment.
                            Not helping the situation since 1965!

                            Comment


                            • Tommy, that sounds nice..very nice!! Don't think I'm not thinking about this on a constant basis!

                              Davey..Tony Mac and Gilbert..and jammed youir ass of..sounds like a killer night..be good, not too good..be safe..and tell us a story!

                              Emmy..we watched the 40 year old virgin..man, I love that movie more and more..I watched all the deleted scenes and shit. "You're pretty..you're pretty..God I just want to live!!!!".."This is the bullshit of all bullshits!"..I love that dude!!

                              Then I watched Clerks 2..so I can watch Jay and Bob jam out to King Diamond's "welcome home"..that's a great movie too..Vinny said I look like "The Sexy Stud"...Jay.."Hey the big guy is going to cornhole that ass..with his weiner!!!!"...so much great stuff in that movie too..

                              Vinny's always referring me to fat guys lately..I may have to drop a few..he's throwing me hints.

                              I gain weight in the Summer and lose it in the Winter..I'm backwards..
                              "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
                              Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

                              "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

                              Comment


                              • Originally posted by Emthrax View Post

                                what's the deal here? Endrik is flying to Happy Town to see Fruitbat?! Endrik.... aren't you in Estonia?! That is some flight, man.
                                Whoah... good times will be HAD!!!
                                hey sis, yeah, something bad is gonna happen soon


                                Bill, don't be a wuzz, send your family to disneyland while you're at BCB
                                "There is nothing more fearful than imagination without taste" - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

                                "To be stupid, selfish and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost" - Gustave Flaubert

                                Comment

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