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You don't mean that Jimmy, I'm seriuos as a heart attack here. I am speechless over here on what my life has become.
It's really remarkable how far down I have slid. It's really disappointing, no it's really fukkin' pissing me the fukk off. I am cursed dude, and you don't want me near anyone or anything you love, believe me. I'm here to say farewell actually, I'm probably gonna throw in the towel after today and what's next I have no idea. I don't really give a fukk anymore either, cuz when I do, it all is for nothing in the end. I've busted balls like never before in my life, and it has produced a huge ZERO, 0, 0, Nada, Nil, Nothing, Not, Never, N
no more computer access after today so I guess this is my last day for a while. I do hope all is well for everyone else, I really dig the people here, and you have all been really kind to me. Wish I had some better news for you but i don't.
Hang in there bro and pick up the phone once in a while dude. I haven't had to go to any kookbat caves since Monday so I guess things are somewhat better for me.
Don't forget the corn. It's nutritious, delicious, and ribbed for her pleasure.
Tommy, do something different. Sell Porsches to rockstars; that way when one comes in bitching about his guitar player,
you tell him you can kick that dude's ass on guitar anyway.
Sell him the Porsche AND yourself.
If you are getting nowhere trying to revive a dead industry,
go into another line, my friend. You have wit, charm, intelligence and heart. Something better is waiting for you to grab it, man. I know that's true and I have faith in you. 7,000 JCFers can't be wrong!
I couldn't sell big macs in Ethiopia, but thanks for the kind words Lerxster. I am in a different end of the industry, I sell, or I don't sell Factory sealed Cisco products. It's a weird animal. Everyone else in the office is kicking ass, it's pretty tough to watch while you continue to suck it. I like watching others do well, I always have, but I really have busted my ass to become prominent in the game and today was a sledgehammer on everything i have been working on. 3 years of striking out is my threshold of pain, I am toast. I'm done. 3 years is enough for me.
I saw an ice dildo today, I've been severely traumatized. I may need therapy after some of the stuff I saw at my co-workers house. He lives with an extremely gay man although my co-worker claims not to be gay, he just lives there for the cheap rent. I asked him if he ever wakes up with a cold ass.
Don't forget the corn. It's nutritious, delicious, and ribbed for her pleasure.
Tommy..I had one of those days man...I wanted to seriously inflict pain upon others..I was scouting for anyone I could lash out at..a time bomb ..it just came to a head..this happens sometimes..I ate four xannys today..I had to.
I'm better now.
Like Tommy ..John's has anxiety over finacaial uncertaintly over losing his shop...I hate that shit..
he'll be OK..
Tommy will be OK..
I'll be OK..once in a while..
Jack is OK now and then..right mna?
Emmy ..she's OK..everybody has their shit of their own drama and assaches man..
High Emmy, wassup...I been feeling very low lately..Between my dad's knees being completely shot , Vinny's arm, My own assaches..things jusy come to a head ..when this happens.. I'm at my threshold..that's when I'm vunerable of losig my better judgment..I seem to be smart enough so far to keep myself in check..but sometimes I feel like I could lose control more and more..
There is are "certain" humans..that just are no good and they wear it on their sleeve vivdly for me to see..I was always able to deal with them accordingly...I no longer have this power..I'm broken ..but my mind still wants to GO..It's not good people I have disdain for ..only those who have illwill for the decent..there is way too many of them..they are everwhere..I hate them...eyefucking them wishing to provoke response...
I can't go out anymore..it's not fesable at this time..best to stay away from others..I can't play well with them..
I used to be a nice person..I think I still am inside..but dealing with this element and crippling myself assiting others in good faith left me full of disdain..
I don't mind sharing this..this is coming right from the heart..I have no shame..and it feels good to talk about it with friends sometimes..
I'm no victim and refuse to ever be..but I'm bitter and cynical.
I don't resent the hate..I believe it's warranted and it makes me feel alive....I hate therfore I am.
It has changed my whole perception of this world and humans..and the harsh reality of attempting to co-exist with them.
Signing off for now...Getting some work dome on the house this morning...going to get a few hours sleep..
Good night guys!
Bill
"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.
Modern so-called society is the ultimate catch-22. It fosters so many worthless contemptable fucks and they have the same rights and freedoms as everyone else.
Those people really just need to be visited by the process of elimination. [img]/images/graemlins/idea2.gif[/img]
I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.
On a lighter note, I was listening to the new Devin Townsend Band disc. I'm really digging it. It has his trademark BIG sound but I think the writing has been kicked up a notch. Very cool first impression.
I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.
yea? I might have to look into that. His stuff has always had this 'impressiveness' to it, but never held much appeal for me. And we'll have broadband in the new house next Wednesday!! Woohoo! I'll have to check out some samples of the new Devin stuff.
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