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Face it - your lady was a slut - lucky you. You needed glasses, and probably have needed them for a while, so chances are she was an ugly slut as well.
Get contacts and find a better looking woman. Next problem???
[img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] w/ all due respect, what the **** are you whining about? [img]/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/eyes.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img]
"When you've had an absolute "I hate my job" day try this:
On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy.
Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the material that comes with the thermometer and read it.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
"Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested"
Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:
"I am so glad I do not work for quality control at the Johnson and Johnson Company".
Have a nice day folks and remember, there is always someone with a worse job than yours!!!"
LOL Tekky!! Man, how would someone even get the gig as rectal thermometer tester? And has Richard Gere ever worked for them?...oh wait, he does gerbil testing. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] Oh dude! That is funny! [img]/images/graemlins/notworthy.gif[/img]
Horrible, but funny.
Keith read it- he's still not so sure that looking at other dude's stuff isn't somehow worse, at least he doesn't do this everyday (he's the worst homophobe).
He is much relieved. Thank You!
He also said if he ever is voluntold to do that again he's calling it "Johnson Quality Control Duty".
I HAVE to get one of these thermometers. It really SAYS that?!! [img]/images/graemlins/eek.gif[/img] Holy crap. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I am so glad neither of us works for them. Phew.
How can they sell those thermometers after someone uses them?? isnt that illegal? I mean come on, thats just sick and wrong. [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] I am not sure if I believe that. I am not trying to discredit your story Tekky, but with all the health regulations these days, how can they do that??
Take your friend out to lunch and thank him for savin' your life..
and Buy your ex a thermometer...
"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.
[ QUOTE ]
How can they sell those thermometers after someone uses them?? isnt that illegal? I mean come on, thats just sick and wrong. [img]/images/graemlins/sick.gif[/img] I am not sure if I believe that. I am not trying to discredit your story Tekky, but with all the health regulations these days, how can they do that??
[/ QUOTE ]
Every time someone goes in for a dental or doctors visit, they have to throw away all of the instruments? No wonder medical insurance in this country is too high!!! I'm not paying another dime until someone learns how to sterilize things!!! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]
In regards to the "story" it was sent to me by my dad. It never says how they were personally tested. For all I know they have a fake, but sterile, "ass" that is kept at 98.6° that Joe Schmoe takes a thermometer off the line and jams it into for testing. But the joke of it all lies in the fact that one is left to his/her imagination to think of how it's tested. Everyone immediately thinks of a guy in a lab-coat and a hair net with a thermometer up his ass.
I use a meat thermometer.. [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img]
"Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!
"Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.
Ok guys, here's a run down of my week, let's take this one from Monday to Monday...
As you know, I was in Sturgis last week, got there last Sat (a week ago) my group was riding in, supposed to be there Sunday eve, so I waited around and waited around, I get a call Monday morn, saying well, we're still 5 hrs out, no biggie sreally, I head up to Katmandu campgrounds, hook up with some other buds, go to Deadwood, play blackjack and loose $200, ride home, 40 miles or so, and it's 40 friggin degrees! OUCH!
Tuesday rolls around, still no group, so I hit the road, they call, said they be in around noon, I wait around again and bamm, there they are, cool...
Wed, group decides to leave early, so we're supposed to ride Needles, nope, didn't happen, so I take off out to Wyoming with my other buds, Devils Tower and Hulett for "No Panty Wed" which was anything but. Anyway, on the way back, my bike starts thrashin, I'm like WTF? So I make it back, get up Thursday morn, hit a few places to see what's up with the bike, some say it's the cam and the other said it was the crank, well turns out to be the crank, bummer, all new engine for the quick fix. Can't find one at S&S, RevTech or TP, so I'm like well, I'll ride her till she blows up, no better place to blow it up than Sturgis SD! So I ride all day, basically by myself so I didn't constrain my buds from Chitown with my troubles, I get back to Rapid, 30 miles where the room is, take a shower get ready to head out for an evening of Jackyl and the Full Throttle, go to start my bike, TOAST! No JAM! Then I was really pissed, so I hit the closest bar, start slammin Teas and Waboritas, all the sudden it's closin time, so we all walked over to another place for another hour of teas, I left with some folks for downtown, and got arrested!!!!!!! I was so pissed! I got out at 8am ro so, still quite trashed and cabbed it back, packed my sh!t and hit the road. About half way back, my front wheel ( on my bike ) goes through the trailer cause the wood's wrotten, pull over, move the bike on the trailer, strap her back down and I get back Sat, kids are screamin, trailer's toast from wrotten wood. I answer about 20 or so emails that nobody can answer, for whatever reason, catch up on some sleep. I get up, it's basically Monday morning, and get an email from Amex saying some DICKHEAD from Desoto TX disputed over $4000 in bandwidth overages and they just take it out of our account with nothing, no recoure, no rebuttal, nothing, I can't state my case at all. So I called the detectives as it's basically fraud and start tearing down my bike and here I am.... That was going to pay for my new motor, buit now it has to wait, less someone snags this Dragon from me real quick!
How's that for a handful of days? This was actually sort of a good week! :lol but I did have a blast in Sturgis, I got some pics around here somewhere.
The good part?
In Hulett Wyoming, Rolling Thunder sees my bike on Main St, asks me to move it out so they can put some gals on it and get some pics, I said sure and all the sudden it was like a freakin train of hot women strattling, strokin my bike, it was ALL GOOD! The next day, I get up, snag a Rapid City Journal, right on the front page, there's my bike with some hot blond on it wearing a chain bra, yeh, a bra made of bike chains, it was quite cool!
Anyway, there ya go! I know it's nothing like probs some of you guys deal with every day, but that's my past week in a nutshell!
I think Harrald is worried that now he is unattached, no blonds in chainlink bras are going to straddle his bike if he's wearing, Ewwww!, glasses. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img] I told you it wasn't a very sympathetic crowd. [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img]
We were driving through Sturgis on Saturday when things were winding down. Lots o' Harleys. We drove to Mt. Rushmore and in the little eating and shopping area at the bottom of the mountain the streets were literally lined with Harleys. Pretty surreal. Reminded me of Pee-wee Herman's Big Adventure [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
I want REAL change. I want dead bodies littering the capitol.
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