Stop a divorce?

[Tetsuo]

Let's say one marrigame partner wants a divorce are you just SOL if you don't? There is no infidelity or major fighting or anything one just isn't in love anymore. You are pretty much SOL right?

[Cleveland Metal]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Yeah, unfortunately I think you probably answered your own question there my friend.

Relationships suck...

[charveljunkie]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Dito!!!
But what do I know I have only been married 3 times [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
First marriage-wife cheated
Second marriage-wife went for bigger money
Third marriage-wife needed a baby sitter for her twins so she could stay out late and party
So do not listen to me [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
But I do hope all ends up well for you

[Guest]

Re: Stop a divorce?

hey Junkie, sounds like you married the same woman, 3 times... [img]/images/graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img]

Pat

[ChickenScratch]

Re: Stop a divorce?

I'm sorry to hera that man, I'm a child of divorce myself and I've been through what happens to the kids and it's never fun for anyone.

Oh, and Before Bill says it, give some attention to the ass! LOL

[Newc]

Re: Stop a divorce?

If one wants out, let them out. Better to part amicably than have it get ugly and go through the wringers in court. At least by dissolving the marriage you can get together and agree on who gets what, but if the courts decide, they will ALWAYS rule against the man.

Newc

[ABSOLUT CHARVEL]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Sorry to hear that, but its time to move on. Have you ever dumped a chick then got back together, only later to realize why you dumped her in the first place. Its there or its not. Something you just can't force. Just remember, it takes one to leave one, so it is better to fill that void with someone that wants to be there. Gook Luck.

[nor]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Depends on the laws of your State. Here in AZ, we are a 'No Fault' state. If one partner wants a divorce - that's it. Everything gets split 50-50, regardless of 'why'.

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: Stop a divorce?

<font color="yellow">Dude....sorry it didn't work out.

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, 2 people who get married with the best intentions and motivations don't always grow together or have the same goals, instead they grow apart.

You can't make somebody love you, you can't make somebody want to stay with you, and you can't always make the marriage work even if you both put forth an effort.

I've been through a divorce, it totally sucks....and at first you are going to be angry, confused, hurt, and feel betrayed at some point, but after a while you will look back on it and realize maybe it was for the best all around.

Hopefully you two can split on somewhat friendly terms, work out the financial and personal effects, and go on with your life.

Good luck man. </font>

[horns666]

Re: Stop a divorce?

How long have you been married ..any kids.

This is obviously not a mystery to either of you ...there is a "problem" and you know what that "problem" is ..

Now is that problem of a complaint that went ignored possibly ....have you had this "divorce" discussion before ...was it about the same "problem"..

I usually find that the usual "problems" are usually either about family members such as in-laws / siblings or money..or maybe some of her single friends blowing bad smoke up her ass...

If the problem can't be settled or satified or at least pacified...then it's the end .

If not then I'd say it's salvagable ...and both should lay everything on the tabel in front of a neutral party such as a counselor...if you belong to a church ...most have marriage counsil free of charge.

They reason for a "neutral" party is because half the time while someone is venting the other party is not really listening..a nuetral party will make sure that both will get equal say and offer suggestions along the way..

I have never needed counseling ..not for marriage anway...but I've been seeing a psycologist for my anger / violent problems..so I take meds for that...I haven't hit anyone in a couple of months so I guess it's workin'..

If her mind's made up ..there is very little you could say or do at that point...just like if your mind was made up ..

Good luck dude...

[guitar geek]

Re: Stop a divorce?

sorry to hear this, have nothing to add to what the rest said, but I wanted to give my condolancies or whatever is suitable to say I feel sorry for you and your kids if you have any.

I'll remember it in my prayers

Harrald

[lerxstcat]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Tetsuo, I'm sorry to hear this, but it's true that there's not much to be done if one party wants the divorce.

You may want to brace yourself for unpleasant surprises down the road though. If your state is NOT a no-fault state, she might have a reason to hide an infidelity from you. Not saying she is, but I've had exes say there's no one else, only to find out differently later. If there's a lot of $ a stake, you may want to have a PI check her out.

If you're state's no-fault, then al that doesn't matter and you'd be best off not knowing, but if it's NOT no-fault and there's a big financial stake, you might be able to slap her down on taking half your stuff if she has been fooling around. I would find it odd that she wouldn't even want to try and work it out if someone else is not in the picture. That's just my suspicious nature though, along with the war stories of dozens of divorced friends.

[Tetsuo]

Re: Stop a divorce?

Bill....

Woring on our 9th year right now no kids - Neither of us want them. We actually work and run a business together and it would all be amicable. The real problem is just this I am still in love with her and she just really doesn't feel the same for me. So be it but she has just been changing a lot lately we got married young and has a lot of things she does need to sort out which is all good and all I just know her and I know on her own she would have the tendency to self destruct and that is the worst part about it. Ah well this stuff happens all can do is try

As of last night she is "reconsidering"

[Tekky]

Re: Stop a divorce?

The best thing you can do for both of you is to allow her to go if that is truly what she wants to do. If you were to hang on and attempt to force her to stay, you turn what seems to be an amicable parting into a bitter test of wills. While you do everything in your power to make her want to stay, she'll do everything in her power to make you hate her and let her go.

Good that she is "reconsidering" give her the space to make that decision and all will work out for the best.

I wish you the best...

[ejpii]

Re: Stop a divorce?

What I and many others say is The grass always looks greener on the other side, but that's because you haven't mowed it yet. Sorry to hear your situation, I hope you can work it out.

EJ