okay, calling all holiday cooks...

[Emthrax]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Come on over Chuk. I got room for everybody!! [img]/images/graemlins/headbang.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/toast.gif[/img]

BYOA- Bring your own amp. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Brad]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Fry it.....3 minutes a pound and then add 5 more minutes to the total..... Only way to eat a Turkey..... mmm...mmm....good [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[YetAnotherOne]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

[ QUOTE ]
Fry it..... Only way to eat a Turkey..... mmm...mmm....good [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[/ QUOTE ]

WORD! Deep fried turkey is the best. A close second is (don't laugh) the Martha Stewart recipe where you cover it in cheesecloth & baste it with butter like every 30 minutes.

[Emthrax]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

The Martha way is very similar to my way. But MY way is BETTER. [img]/images/graemlins/drool2.gif[/img]

[LesPaulCustom]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

<font color="yellow">Auntie Em...shoot me a PM with the recipe please [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/drool2.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/help.gif[/img] </font>

[Tekky]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]


I totally want this recipe!!!!

[/ QUOTE ]

Tekky-

I'll PM you. After dinner. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Em

[/ QUOTE ]

Thanks very much Em!

[Emthrax]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

You're most welcome. Let me know if something doesn't make sense... I wrote that out but then had to rush my son to the E-room. (He was attacked by a door, poor little dude. He's okay.)
I sent it when we got home, but don't know if I was entirely clear on everything. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Happy Turking.

Em

[Guest]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Dude, post it...

The new Official JCF Thanksgiving Recipe(s)

Pat

[Shotgun]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Sorry to hear about the drama, Em, glad he's okay.

Oh, and please either post it, or just pm it to all of us hungry SOBs!

TIA,
Keith

[Guest]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

I didn't even read that. [img]/images/graemlins/scratchhead.gif[/img], yes, hope all is well over there...

Pat

[Tekky]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

[ QUOTE ]
You're most welcome. Let me know if something doesn't make sense... I wrote that out but then had to rush my son to the E-room. (He was attacked by a door, poor little dude. He's okay.)
I sent it when we got home, but don't know if I was entirely clear on everything. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Happy Turking.

Em

[/ QUOTE ]

The door is obviously vicious. I think you have no choice but to put it down. Glad to hear your son is doing OK.

[Emthrax]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

My little boy is fine. He was closing his door and caught the latch thingy right on the corner of his left eyebrow. He's lucky he didn't hit is eye.
I thought he'd get a couple stitches, but they glued him instead. He is one brave sucker, my boy.
I hate that he has an owie. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Tears me up.
But he's okay and did just fine.

But onto the fun stuff! [img]/images/graemlins/popcorn.gif[/img]

Okay- here is the fantabulous supremo turk recipe!

Directions:
Shove a can of beer up its ass, bake at tree-fitty for four hours. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Just kidding.

Here it is for reals. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
I've spelled it out for those who might be new in the kitchen.


Emily's Thanksgiving Turkfuk

Need:
*Turkey (this is really important) 14-16 pounder
*Salt and Pepper
*2 Tbs. oil (for cooking- any kind is fine. I use vegetable oil.)
*4 Tbs. softened butter
*Fresh sage leaves (if you have them- not necessary)
*Something to cook turk in- one of those cheapo pans at the grocery store (with handles) work just great.
*Froofy garnishes- Orange slices and fresh cranberries and fresh parsley for if you want to get pretty. This is optional and only for flair and garnish when turk is done.

Directions:
Make sure Turk is thawed. I take mine out several days before (usually the Sunday before Thanksgiving) and thaw in the fridge.

PREHEAT oven to 325F set to "bake"

1. Remove neck and giblets, you'll find them inside somewhere either in the neck cavity or butt cavity. Root around until you find the bag. Very fun. I throw them away, some people use them for gravy- whatever.
Now rinse turk inside and out with water and pat dry with paper towels.
Put turk in roasting pan.

2. Loosen breast skin by sliding your fingertips underneath it (Sounds kinky, I know. Feels weird too. Start at the butt cavity, its easier) and take that 2 Tbs. of butter and spooge it all in there under the skin. Just rub it all over the bare breast. Go ahead.
Then you take the sage leaves and insert them under there in a nifty pattern (if you want). The sage adds yummy flavor and makes kind of a stained-glass effect on the finished bird. Like I said, the sage is entirely optional.

3. Put breast skin back all nice and neat, then fold the wing tips back and tuck the legs under the bird. There will be directions that came with the bird describing this if you're not sure.

4. Rub outside of turkey with the oil. All over. Go ahead.
Then pepper and salt the whole bird inside and out. I also sprinkle some dried Italian herbs onto the breast. Usually marjoram and parsley.

5. Stuffing- I don't stuff my birds. I hate stuffing. But I do cut up some onions and celery and shove it all up the bird's ass.
Don't eat that, it's only there to provide flavor.

6. Bird is ready to cook.
Now you can do one of two things: the bag method- use turkey sized bags- (just follow directions on box- basically you just put the whole thing in the oven bag, seal, bake and that is it!) or the cheesecloth method. The bag method is easier.

If you go the fancy schmancy cheeseycloth way, here's what you do:
Cut double thickness of cheesecloth large enough to drape over the entire breast. Don't worry about the legs. Rinse the cloth under water and wring it out. Then dip the cloth into melted butter so its completely saturated and drape over turkey breast. Yummm.

7. If you go the bag method you won't have to baste. With the cheeseycloth method you can (if you find any drippings-you probably won't). All the juices are kept inside the bird. It's magic.
But you can baste the cheesecloth and the legs with melted butter if you want to. Just baste whenever you want. I'm pretty lazy. I think I baste with melted butter maybe twice.

8. Put turkfuk in oven. You may need to lower your oven rack. Use a potholder to do that- they're hot.
Roast bird about four hours. (the roasting time will come with the bird- look at the directions on packaging).

!!!Make sure you remove the cheesecloth one hour before the bird is done!!!

Bird is done when breast is 170-175F - you can use those thermometer thingys. You can find them in the grocery store. Looks like a metal stake with a dial on top.
Just plunge it on in there. Go ahead.

Do not use those Johnson&amp;Johnson people thermos or whatever brand they are- those "tested" ones... remember? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Remove from oven and let sit about 20 minutes for the juices to settle.

Depending on where you live, you can either serve the bird in the dorky cooking pan or move it to a serving tray. I do that by putting a wooden spoon up the butt end and piercing the other end with a serving fork. Then lift it out of the pan and onto your serving platter.
Decorate bird for the WOW! effect with those froofy garnishes if you want to.

Be prepared to eat entire turkey all by yourself. [img]/images/graemlins/drool2.gif[/img]

Any questions? You know where to find me.
Good luck,
Em

[Guest]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Awesome!

Thanx bro!

Pat

[Emthrax]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[etaeniura]

Re: okay, calling all holiday cooks...

Damn, I thought my buddies and I invented the "butter bird". we used to do that with chickens and it turns out great. We would just take sticks of butter cut into pats and slide them in under the breast skin. Another thing we did was takeabout a half cup of honey, and maybe a quartyer stick of butter and mix them togather and baste the bird with it about 20-30 minutes before it's done. It makes the skin nice and crusty and sweet.