Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

The Physics Of Santa Claus

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • The Physics Of Santa Claus

    Every year close to Christmas, this is posted on almost every forum I visit. I love it. It was posted last year on the JCF as well. And here it is again. The physics of Santa Claus!!!

    -----------------------------------

    1. No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

    2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total -- 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

    3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second -- a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

    4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal anoint, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh -- to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison -- this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

    5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance -- this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

    In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

    ---------------------------------

    And some of the rebuttals on the following page are pretty funny too. I'm such a nerd. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

    http://home.uchicago.edu/~rascalzo/a...a-physics.html

    I can't believe people spend time doing this sort of thing. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

  • #2
    Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

    Hail Santa.. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
    "Bill, Smoke a Bowl and Crank Van Halen I, Life is better when I do that"
    Donnie Swanstrom 01/25/06..miss ya!

    "Well, your friend would have Bell's Palsy, which is a facial paralysis, not "Balls Pelsy" like we're joking about here." Toejam's attempt at sensitivity.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

      I've seen flying reindeer.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

        [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

        That last paragraph killed me! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]
        You took too much, man. Too much. Too much.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

          Are you saying that Santa isn't real? How do you explain that the glass of milk I leave every year is empty and the cookies I leave have bites taken out of them, huh? Spoil sports! [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]
          Scott
          Be without fear in the face of your enemies. Be brave and upright, that God may love thee. Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death. Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

            My 7 year old has been asking way too many questions lately. I figure I've only got a year with him. Once he finds out, the 5 year old will know and lets just hope they keep it from the 2 year old.

            You gotta love the holidays!
            "My G-Major can blow me!" - Bill

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

              [ QUOTE ]
              Are you saying that Santa isn't real? How do you explain that the glass of milk I leave every year is empty and the cookies I leave have bites taken out of them, huh? Spoil sports! [img]/images/graemlins/mad.gif[/img]

              [/ QUOTE ]
              Same way I can explain your socks always disappering from your laundry. I take them!!!

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                If it will get me more presents under the tree, I'll continue to believe in Kris Kringle. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]
                Takeoffs are optional but landings are mandatory.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                  [ QUOTE ]
                  If it will get me more presents under the tree, I'll continue to believe in Kris Kringle. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

                  [/ QUOTE ]

                  [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] I used to do that too... I felt like such a scam artist until my brother (who believed in Santa) found one of his Dear Santa letters a few years later in the car... [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] My mom was horribly embarrassed. [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                    Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house.
                    -------------------
                    that's just to funny [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                      It's voodoo. I hate to break it to you, but Santa is a witch!

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                        I hate that article. Quit posting it. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
                        "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                          Quit posting in threads that I start that you hate. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                            Santa is going to cast some voodoo on you guys

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: The Physics Of Santa Claus

                              Heh. Make me. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]
                              "Quiet, numbskulls, I'm broadcasting!" -Moe Howard, "Micro-Phonies" (1945)

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X