Sick of it All...

[charvelguy]

Re: Sick of it All...

forget being a rock star... music is a healer, not a pain. The guitar used to be your best friend to get you thru the tough and the rough and it still is...moreso than any woman, or friend. If you want a wife.. you gotta spend some time looking for a good faithful one of those too, as much or more than the time you spend expounding upon the latest GMW.
Take up Classical..or Jazz, play country rock.
The only way your not resentful towards the guitar is by taking the time to be good/better at it. Diversify-learn some Chet Atkins. He always used the mental exercise thing if he couldn't play and needed to practice when on the road. I think part of the problem, if I may, is sitting at home in front of the machine to much.
Take the time to work out that little melody inspired from whatever and try turning it into something you are proud of. At the very least, if you aren't being an active pro.. let your guitar be your therapist. I don't know if this helps...but funks are tough. When life deals you some funk, play disco. The Ohio players are a blast to play! [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

[Donovan]

Re: Sick of it All...

Hey, learn some pentatonics and now you can play the blues .... and mean it!!!
I know what you mean. Sometimes I think I've spent so much time messing with my music but I'm not even in a band and havn't been for some time. I just try to think of it as my own fun time. I like my music so as long as I'm spending time doing what I want, it's not wasted [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[nor]

Re: Sick of it All...

Dude, for all you know, if you went the 'normal' route...
...maybe your wife might have left ya and took everything you had worked for.
...maybe you would have been in a freak elevator accident.
...maybe you would have been in the WTC on 9/11.
...maybe some drunk would have taken ya out on the commute home.
...or maybe you would just hate your boring life.

...but you would be saying 'What if...' - just like ya are now.
----
Ten years ago - I walked away from my guitar to be 'normal'. Did OK money-wize, and hated every single **** second of it. Now I'm working my ass off to return myself to myself.

Just like you would.

You are what you are, bro.
You're the dude who raced motorcycles.
You're the dude who was playing on stage before a lot of the members here were born.
You're the dude who knows fugging everything about guitars, and can play (I have heard ya live - you don't suck).
You're the dude that knows everybody.
You're the dude that looked into my eyes in the hospital and said "This isn't remotely over".
You're the dude who has the friendship and respect of hundreds (thousands?) of people on virtually every continent on Earth.
You're the dude everyone trusts.
You're the dude who has personally funded the retirement plans of over 5000 FedEx employees.
[img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

You're the dude.

Ya did get dealt a lousy card, but perhaps the path you chose made you strong enough to survive it. You know better than any of us how many 'normal' people would not survive what you have survived.

How many people have you helped out on this board, let alone throughout your life? You and I have only been in the same room a handful of times, and I consider you one of my closest friends.

And I'm a picky bastard.
-----
I guess what I trying to say (in my patented long-winded way) is You are what you are.

So shadup and go play yer guitar.
[img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[hippietim]

Re: Sick of it All...

Chuck, I went through this a while back. I quit pretty much quit playing guitar for about 7-8 years. It was during this period that I got rid of my beloved SD Rhoads - that one still smarts. I started playing bass because I had no interest in the guitar. Fortunately I kept playing the acoustic guitar for most of that period. I didn't even own a guitar amp for 5 or 6 years. I was VERY deep in my career at that point as well. Then all of a sudden I'm like 36 years old and going what the ****? Fortunately I had this huge Hot Wheels collection that I sold off to get started with gear again. Since then I've scored some gear, met some great folks on-line, played in a few bands - it's all good. You are just one moment away from being inspired again - go find that kick in the head that will get you going.

[kmanick]

Re: Sick of it All...

Maybe you just need some time away doing something else for a while. I've got to reiterate what other members think about you, I find your posts informative, interesting and alot of times f'kn hysterical, you've got a great whit. I walked away from playing for 21 years. Didn't make it musically, had great musicians playing with me, ( I mean sh*t Mike Mangini was my drummer) but sh*t just didn't work out. Went back to college, went into the coporate world, got married, had a baby girl, and rediscovered playing all over again. My wife had no idea of that part of my past and it still blows her away when she sees me play. Now I can't wait to teach my little girl to play. I no longer have delusions of making a living playing music, now its therapeudic, and I shred better now than I did when I was gigging every week 20 years ago. Music is a wonderful thing, it just needs to be put into perspective as to where it fits in your life. Although I hate that I was away from it for so long, I feel that far behind my friends that have been playing along) but it will come.
hang in there Chuck, if your not happy where you are make a plan and do something about it. whatever you do I'm sure it will work out.

[VitaminG]

Re: Sick of it All...

Chuck, you're too cool a dude to be beating on yourself like this.

Me, I can cos I can't play for shit. I'm just another hack, sitting in my room, trying ape my heroes.

But you're the real deal. You've made your own music, you've lived the life. You sent me not one, but TWO copies of the Article 13 cd (which still gets a spin around here). You've been a great resource for everyone here on the JCF, not to mention a good friend. If you hadn't effected so many here, you wouldn't have so many concerned about your welfare on your various trips to hospital over the last couple of years.

I may have a job, but I don't have a "career". I did the got-kids-too-early/working-boring-office-jobs thing instead of going to college. I have friends that were earning more than I am now when they left university 10 years ago. So I haven't managed to do the career/mortgage/money-in-the-bank thing OR the rock star thing, or even the jamming with friends/playing out on a weekend thing.

I'm sorry to hear about you feeling down about guitar. Maybe it's time to buy some new CDs, check out some new music to reignite the fire in your belly. Or maybe just take a walk for a couple of weeks. Take up a new hobby or interest for a while and then come back to guitar when you feel ready.

[Ninja Guitar]

Re: Sick of it All...

Sorry to hear about your current state, Chuck. Keep in mind you have friends here. As a young guy trying to follow his musical dream, your wisdom is inmeasureable to me.

[toejam]

Re: Sick of it All...

Sick Of It All... is a cool band. [img]/images/graemlins/band.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Chuck, I go through the same stages of playing and not playing guitar, but I still love to play and work on guitars as a hobby for my own enjoyment. I'm in a self-employed "career", but I've got no medical insurance, I've also got no retirement fund, 401K, investments, etc., am divorced but do have my house for now, but I was left with about almost $25,000 in credit card debt because of my ex-psycho and I'm in the middle of claiming bankruptcy now because I'm being sued by one of my old credit card companies I can't pay back. Life sucks for all of us at times, but just have fun doing what you love to do... the music will get you through. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[Chuckracer]

Re: Sick of it All...

Wow.

Thank You for the TOO friggen kind words. I can't believe you guys.

Just......I dunno...thank you.


I'm gonna sell all my crap and buy some snowshoes. I'm gonna walk to the North Pole. It's just up the street here. That'll sort me out. Then maybe I won't have to whine to you guys...as much.
It's embarrassing, but I guess I needed that.

Thank You.

[sully]

Re: Sick of it All...

[ QUOTE ]
Dont you enjoy playing guitar anymore?

[/ QUOTE ]

No. I haven't for a very long time; maybe a few years?

[ QUOTE ]
Do you guys really feel your time and energy put into music is wasted? Please expand on this for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah, I think I do. I'll tell ya a story. Grab a chair and a violin.

I started playing when I was 8; like many that started when I did, I wanted to be Ace Frehley (or Roger Staubach, the quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys). I absorbed as much as any 8 year old could with a Mel Bay book, and plunked along for a few years.

I got my first electric when I was 12; my uncle had an electric sitting at my grandmother's house, and my stepfather (who played) asked if I could have it. My uncle said yes, and it went to get set up with some new strings and a truss rod tweak. It wasn't a bad guitar at all, even though it was a Teisco Del Ray kinda guitar (the brand was Maxitone, and I miss it).

My stepdad showed me a few more chords, and I soon discovered a new magazine called Guitar for the Practicing Musician. I spent many hours in my room playing, like many of you did, I'm sure. I was further along the path of being Ace Frehley, and that part of my life (the only part, really) was good.

I remember, again, like most of you, I'm sure, many nights sitting in my room playing along with Metal Health, and Looks that Kill, and later learning the rhythm for Bark at the Moon. Some nights, through the crack of the door, I would see my stepfather bring his guitar into the living room and play. He'd fumble rustily through Chuck Berry riffs and things like that. Looking back now, I could tell he was probably decent at one time, and as life changes priorites, the cobwebs and rust grew and grew.

I remember asking him why he didn't want to be in a band again, or why wouldn't he play more. I remember being floored when he said "I don't have the time." I never understood that one bit. What the hell did that mean? Hell, I had time; he should too, right? It's not like he worked 18 hour days or anything. And, he had a Les Paul. My dream guitar (still is; hell, I like them so much that I actually LIKE the jade green tuning keys!), and he's ignoring it. Ugh. Anyway, he and I were never really too close, so I didn't worry too much about it, and I devoted myself to my goal. I was writing music, lyrics, etc, and joined my first band when I was 14. I actually still have a cassette tape of the party we played (after I'd been in the band for only 2 days).

As I've discussed on the board, I took my band to Hollywood, California when I was 18, and lived there until I was 20. I came back to Chicago with a (psychotic) wife, a 13 day old son, a 3 year old stepdaughter, tail between my legs, and an overpowering addiction to painkillers. I was a mess; a few months prior to moving back, I'd OD'ed and died (according to my doctor) on a few handfulls of Demerol, Vicodin, Percocet,and Valium. I remember being afraid to move back home because I was afraid I'd "lose my edge" and I wouldn't write as much. But I had a son that was a huge responsibility, and I did NOT want him to grow up in Hollywood, or Los Angeles. Of course, I figured I'd be able to be a dad and have a band.

I moved back home and started playing with my old drummer George again (played with him since I was 17), and we got a rhythm guitar player. We just needed a bass player, and we'd be good. Of course we never found one, but that's a different story. I got a job working at the county courthouse in the records vault, got a brand new car (geo metro), and took out a loan at the bank for something I lovingly refer to as LTD083 (still kicking myself for unloading it last year, but life goes on). I figured that even though I was a family man, I'd still be able to make this work.

Then I became a single parent (with sole custody) at age 22. I had to move back in with my folks because I wasn't making enough money to afford rent, childcare, bills, etc. (hey, play that violin a little louder for me, okay?) I wasn't playing in a band anymore, but I had been writing and recording all my own stuff on a 4track and a drum machine (1994 was my Trent Reznor phase). Still trying to be somewhat creative, but fuckin' hell, I'm overdrawn, and my childcare check is probably going to bounce, my car payment is due, and that loan for the LTD is going past due, and I'm writing less and less, but I still have 4 guitars. And a hell of a lot of stress. Who's got some vicodin? Still no one I know. Sh!t.

Anyway, two years later, I wound up joining a band on my 25th birthday, and it was okay, but my mother was giving me a very hard time about it, and she later refused to watch my son when I'd have rehearsal, so I had to quit. I'm down to maybe writing one or two songs here and there, if I'm lucky.

the year 2000 rolls around, and I've written 3 songs in about a year and a half. It's just not coming to me anymore. The well has dried, and maybe that ship has sailed..

In 2001, I decided to start taking classical lessons from one teacher, and regular rock lessons from a teacher I had when I was 16. (He was the guy who built the guitar I had made for myself as a 16th bday present.) I joined a Kiss tribute band b/c I'd at least get to play, and hell, I guess in a way, I'd make my dream of being Ace Frehley come true...? I quit taking lessons, and I eventually rejoined the band I had to quit a few years earlier, and I was happy playing again. Even though I wasn't the lead guitar player (even though I was WAY better than the guy who was playing lead) I didn't really care b/c they were all friends, and I was just happy with the companionship. I had no grand ideas for the band or anything, I just wanted to play. If there was any touring or anything, I'd of course have to step out.

It's now been well over three years since I've written music, and at least 4 since I'd written lyrics. The well seems truly dry.

So now I'm down here in Dallas, and don't get me wrong, my life is good; my son is healthy, gets good grades, and is respectful of others. He, like all 12 year olds, has suspicions that I'm incredibly uncool (which is kinda funny b/c I know his friends think I'm cool as hell) I've been with my gf for almost 2 years now, and it's as great now as it was then. But I do regret (or wonder about) a lot of the past. Had I stayed in school, etc, my life would certainly be different, and maybe better. Or, on the other hand, I wonder what my life would be like had I stayed away from my ex-wife. Would I have made it? Doubtful, as the music I played was out of style a year or so after I got to Hollywood. I didn't wear enough flannel, I guess. I probably would have progressed in my addiction, and I'd probably be dead. Again!

In all seriousness, It does piss me off that I never really got a real shot at it. The band I was in before I moved to LA was very very very close to signing a deal with MCA, and I just started to make things happen in Hollywood just before I moved back to Chicago; I played on an album with Axl and Ian Astbury, (Wes Arkeen's record; go grab Appetite for Destruction and read the liner notes and see how he's regarded) and hung out with many people who once graced my teenage bedroom walls. I played Kiss pinball at Axl's house, and who'd have thought a year later, I'd be back at my mom's house with a newborn. Choices, man, we've all got 'em, and sometimes they're a bitch.

Anyway, I've recently realized a little while ago that I've become the stepfather I had when I was 12 but with a twist; instead of having a guitar in a case under the bed, I've got them hanging on the walls. staring silently at me. Instead of fumbling through Chuck Berry licks, it's Randy's. Hell, I couldn't keep up with the lead on Piece of Your Action from Too Fast For Love. Yeah, I admit it, and I don't fuckin' care; I like Mick Mars. Alot.

Collecting guitars (my version of it) and the board was my way of not letting the sun set, so to speak. It's very upsetting, and I can't shake it, and I don't know if I even care enough to try. I can't really hold a guitar comfortably right now b/c of my accident, but I should be able to in a couple weeks. But y'know what? I don't care. Yeah, I can build a guitar that plays nicely, and I can fix them up, but it's not fun; it's actually pretty stressful.

So, as soon as I'm able to wetsand without it hurting like hell, I'll finish the guitars that I have here, and not take on anything else. I do enjoy building websites and stuff, so I'm thinking of taking some classes next year at the community college to get a better knowledge of the programs that I'm using now and would like to use in the future. But it's gonna wait until I can afford it. Maybe spring time. I hope so.

[ QUOTE ]
This could help me greatly if you guys explain your current ideas and feelings. I am very seriously considering making a big life change and pursuing music seriously.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'll never tell anyone to not follow a dream; if you can make it work, go for it. But the only thing I suggest is just to do something that's fun. I wouldn't make it your career by any means, especially if you have responsibilities. Not sure what your plans are, but I'll say that you'll need a ton of connections and very low expectations.

I'm sorry for this rambling pity party, but this thread has touched a nerve. This is something that I've talked with Kev about a lot, and boy, I bet you're sorry you asked, Tonemonster!

Thanks for the violin, I'm gonna go get really 'effin loaded now.

Sully

PS - As I write this , I can hear my song singing along with The Offspring. He's the same age I was when I started down this path. Quite a moment, here. Jesus, I need a fuckin' drink.

[tonemonster]

Re: Sick of it All...

Chuck I sure didnt mean to strike a nerve there. I was being genuinly curious. I am sorry to hear your having a bad time. I feel like an ass for aksing now.
FWIW, I get down too. THats why I am considering changing my life, cuz I am not happy the way I am. I seek happiness. Mabye the choice I make will be wrong, maybe not. I dont know.
But I wish you wouldnt beat yourself up man. hey you always help everyone here, we can help back too man. got to vent? spill it out, you got friends here. thats the cool part about this place, people care. Hang in there dude. Things will come around, they always do.

[Chuckracer]

Re: Sick of it All...

Yep. Totally different, and utterly the same.

Check this out: My Dream. I don't mean dream, as in what I want to accomplish. I mean dream as in light sleep stage dreams. I've had it maybe ten times in the last three or four months. It's always the same. I'm in a band (usually Article 13, but not the same members each time), and we are getting ready to go on. I'm scrambling around and can't find my guitars, or picks, or things are broke and not working, or it's raining on the gear, or the stage set-up sucks and it's not gonna work, I'm sweating, running around and can't move stuff, can't find stuff, we're late, and finally we cancel and the gear is smashed or stolen or drenched and no one cares, not even me, but I'm soooo pissed and stressed and I wake up in a puddle of sweat, pissed off.

Wierd...

[tonemonster]

Re: Sick of it All...

Damn....did I open up a can of worms..... I think I will crawl over in the corner here for a while and stay outta sight. Guys, I am sincerly sorry for touching a nerve. Very sorry to both of you. I feel like shit. really.

[jazzman]

Re: Sick of it All...

Hey Chuck, I wish I caught this thread earlier. (I've been out blowin' all my chip on christmas gifts and not at the computer) Anyway, I totally understand about being sick of guitar, I go through it every few weeks. "I can't play this" "I suck at that" "I don't like my amp" "I don't like my guitar" "I hate my wife" (oh, wait, that's every day) I get in ruts constantly. It always goes away. If I was in your shoes, I'd get some sweet recording gear. I know that would make me less miserable. And, you're always welcome to come and hang out with me and Ray too. Maybe you just need a new guitar? [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Chuckracer]

Re: Sick of it All...

Please don't feel like shit. You've actually helped, because this can't stay buried for either Sully or myself.

You've brought it out of me, and thanks to you and the cool people here, I actually feel a little better. Maybe it was reading Sully's post and realizing that no matter how bad I think I've got it...J/K bro! [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img]