FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

[HuntinDoug]

OK...Sorry to be gross here...bear with me...I need to "vent". This morning was the first day I have had my house back to normal (if there is such a thing). Over Christmas I have had a total of 26 people either staying with me, or visiting. They are all gone except one. My Mom flies out tomorrow, she's the only guest left. I live in the country... 2?00 sq. ft house... 3 acres (complete with 20in of snow)... long driveway... pleanty of parking, ect. Pleanty of "elbow room" to entertain guests. However, the only thing that seems to be to be lacking is the septic tank...and my patients!

This morning I got to sleep in, and enjoy the quiet. I got up, got myself some carbinated coffee (Diet Mtn. Dew), and started tapping on the pooter. As I'm waking up, my wife is upstairs in the shower, and my Mom was in the basement doing laundry at the same time. Then I hear my Mom say "Umm, Doug...Is there supposed to be turds coming out of this pipe?". (hint: anytime you hear your mother say "turd"..it's not a good thing).

It seems that the added stress of 26 extra people in a house designed for 6 to 8 people took its toll on our meager 1500 gallon septic tank. It backed up, and overflowed on the washer, the water softener, and the well pump. Ahhhhh the smells of Christmas are flowing through the house like toll house cookies.


So, I guess this year "my cup runith over with Holiday Chit (instead of holiday cheer)"

[MetalGrasshopper]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

ouch.

[shelby22]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Merry Christmas! Shitter's full!!!

Sorry to hear about that. What a mes.

[zeegler]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

[img]/images/graemlins/eviltongue.gif[/img]

Yuck turds!

[Creepy]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Gives a whole new meaning to "Yule Log"
Sorry Doug... had to. That sucks Bro.

[sithgt6]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

[img]/images/graemlins/fart.gif[/img] Welcome to our humble camode... [img]/images/graemlins/poke.gif[/img]

Damn, HD -- I was thinking about sending you a project, better wait till things air out a tad...? J/K

D>

[ROCKPRO]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Your shitt** Me! The crap tubes backed up into the clothes washer? Don't flush until it goes down.

[Ace]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

"Umm, Doug...Is there supposed to be turds coming out of this pipe?".

Next time just say "yes" and go about your business.

[lerxstcat]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Sounds like your septic tank needs to be pumped out, it is required every x number of years. Do you use Rid-x every month? There are some new formulas out that work even better; one's called Bio-Clean, a mix of enzymes and non-pathogenic bacteria (That means they only eat stuff that's already dead.) They will really eliminate a lot of biomass and reduce the frequency of having to pump. There are several others also, I don't know 'em all by name, that do similar things. Your hardware store or farmers' co-op will have 'em.

So your guests said, "Sorry to sh!t and run!"!
That's a b!tch!

[lerxstcat]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Oh yeah, coul;d just be a clogged sewer leading to the septic; that'll cause everything to back up, too. Women never learn, DON'T FLUSH TAMPONS!!!! "But it SAYS 'flushable' on the box." YEAH it does, but Kotex or Tampax ain't paying your plumbing bill. Same with paper towels, "It looks like a big piece of TP", but it's not designed to dissolve in water; big diff.

[guitarsjb]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Damn Doug, sorry to hear that.

[HuntinDoug]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

"Doug's Poopy Adventure" Chapter II

Gather round kiddies

So I called the septic pump service. The same fella we've used before. We've been here for 11 years now, and this is the 4th time he's come out. He made it here in about 3 hours, which isnt bad for this time of year.

So he get's here...I show him the problem, and he says "Will git-er done". Not wanting to be around to see the "details" (much less smell them), I mosey in the house. I sat on my couch for a solid 1/2 hour, and watched this guy "Darrell", and his brother "Darrell Jr" try and fix a clogged hose (Ummm guess what it's clogged with). It seems part of the last job was left in the hose, and it froze. What do you do with a frozen crapper hose you ask.... Simple; Stick the end into a vat of warm steaming human excroment for 30 seconds or so, then pull it out, let it drip on your boots, then stick a screwdriver in the end to un-lodge that frozen log in the end....then repeat the process until your shirt is soaking wet with a nice "walnut" colored goo. It always amazes me how these guy's have no concern for the materials that have come out of other peoples bowels....sheeesh!

He finally gets the tank pumped out (didnt take long because it was about 1/4 full), and finds the real problem. It seems there is a clog in the buried line coming into the tank. He tells me he'll fix it if I dig it up. So I dug it up the frozen lid while he put the hose away. He pop'd off the lid, hit the clog with a shovel, and handed me a bill for $225.00.

The End

[Brad]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

Fa lalalalalaaaaa la lalala..... Merry christmas to all and to all a Good night..... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

Who's coming over for New Years???

[Evol]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

I swear the same exact thing happened to my family at Christmas 20 years ago,my dad was miffed! Glad I'm not alone,I know how bad it sucks,but really in a few years it'll be funny! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[VinceV]

Re: FREE * Pickled Christmas turds in juice * FREE

ALL you need is Redman Toilet cleaner with ENZYMES AND SHIT. Cleans all that shit up. Yeah and tell women to stop flushing "shot rats" in the toilet.