my best friend is dead

[atomic charvel guy]

he was able to get himself to the hospital but the doctors were not able to save him as his bacteria level in his blood was 70%. 70fukkin' % !!!!!!!!!! he had absesses, and poison attacking his body from all ends. that's what you get from dirty needles, spoons, etc. i have to speak at his his funeral on thursday, and as much as i want to do it, i also want to do it completely fukked up. this is my 15th friend, and 1 brother. this was my first friend that i ever made in southern cal. in '89. his mother told me that she found a note on his bed that said that he has to do too much dope tp stave off the pain. we're talkin' 8 xanax and 6-10 grams of heroin. and god knows what else. why do i keep suriviving this crap and continue to watch my friends go down one after another. do i be a man and make this eulogy straight instead of good 'n juiced. it's gonna hurt either way. the last lines of his letter was in large print, and it said the pain is unhandleable, JESUS PLEASE SAVE ME.
i love you sean, we took many chances together, and had fun like nobody else. i'll miss you like i miss waking up and feeling like a man. maybe you can throw some magic down for me and give me my life back. i'll never forget anything we did. not one thing. tell god i've got a knuckle sandwich for him when i get up there.
thanks sean,
sometimes we just can't stop fukking with that envelope and how far we can push it without getting hurt. i'm gonna go see your mom now dude, she's crushed. so am i, so is downtown huntington beach. i hope you fukk with me in my dreams when i go to sleep, or pass out, whatever you want to call it. fare well fellow heavyweight!!!!!!

tommy

[Tekky]

Re: my best friend is dead

Tommy, I don't really know what to say. My sympathies are with you. If there's anything we can do while we're there, please feel free to call on us! Actually, that goes for when we aren't there.

Todd and Kristi

[sully]

Re: my best friend is dead

hey kid,

thanks for callin last night; i kept the phone on, and when i didn't hear from you this morning, i assumed the worst about sean.

you already know the answer to your question about whether or not to do it straight or not. i think you owe it to your friend to be able to speak of him lucidly and from the heart.

you can only dodge bullets for so long, kid. hang in there and call me if you need to.

sully

[Top Jimmy B]

Re: my best friend is dead

Tommy, this is terrible news and I am so very sorry to hear it. There is nothing we can say here to ease the pain. You are in my thoughts.

If I may, I would advise against performing the eulogy baked. Your words will be more important than you realize.

RIP Sean.

[Shawn Lutz]

Re: my best friend is dead

Sorry to hear that Tommy, so sad.

I agree with Jon, do it clean and from the heart no matter how hard it may seem.

Keep your head up. my thoughts and prayers out to you, sean's family and friends...

[toejam]

Re: my best friend is dead

Sorry to hear, Tommy. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Be a man and do it straight.. you don't need the junk.

[Cleveland Metal]

Re: my best friend is dead

Man, sad to hear about your bro man. Not much I can say to help except I'm sorry.

I'm with the rest, do the eulogy straight. It's gonna mean a lot to many people there and you have to do the job. Do it well. Your friend deserves that much I assure you.

Blessed be...

[Budman68]

Re: my best friend is dead

[ QUOTE ]
Sorry to hear, Tommy. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] Be a man and do it straight.. you don't need the junk.

[/ QUOTE ] <font color="aqua">Couldn't have said it better bro, keep your head up and you'll be fine. I'm truly sorry to hear about your friend, our thoughts are with you.. [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] </font>

[Boxcar Willie 84]

Re: my best friend is dead

I'm sorry to hear that Tommy...you know how to get ahold of me if you need something.

[Thor Von Clemson]

Re: my best friend is dead

Hang in there man! I'll be prayin for ya.

[axeman81]

Re: my best friend is dead

sorry to hear the bad news [img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img] my words might mean nothing to you, but I hope you find the strength and courage to do the eulogy straight, and maybe even to change your own life for the better, both in honor of your friend and his family and lastly, yourself.
my condolences...

- Rune.

[Ace]

Re: my best friend is dead

Tommy, if there's anything I can do to help, I'm just a phone call and 20 minutes away. If you do something stupid and don't call me first, I will be rather upset.

[atomic charvel guy]

Re: my best friend is dead

thank you everybody, this is a tough one.
gold moon, can you fly me over a gold moon and make it last forver? just let me float over your shiny gold lit up sky
and make sure i stay lit up there for the duration..
my heart is bleeding, my head can't focus, and i want to so easily get rid of the pain. are you more of a man because you go through the pain, or are you smarter to eliminate it completely , until tomorrow?

[mwm70]

Re: my best friend is dead

Do it straight!!!
I carried a good friend as well as my drummer and put him in the ground. I was tempted to get ripped before the funeral as to remember the way we spent most of our time together and I am glad I didn't.
This will be your last chance to say goodbye and you want to do it right. My heart goes out to you bro, I lived it 10 years ago and it hurts like it was yesterday. Hang in there man.

[Ace]

Re: my best friend is dead

Tommy, you've got the hardest part of your kick behind you. Don't give up what you've worked so hard for. Life isn't peaches, and feeling this when your used to feeling like your floating on a bed of flowers is going to be hard. But you've got to stand up and be a fuckin' man. Don't cop out, you'll never forgive yourself.