someone just stole my cigarettes

[rps14a]

off of my front porch while i was in my house for 1 hour on the JCF. this isnt the first time either. im getting really fucking tired of this petty theft shit around my neighborhood.

[Death]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

how abou this,don't leave em in your front porch?

[CrazyTrain]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

perhaps you should move away from the theives?

Or purchase a large caliber weapon and open a window so you can keep an eye on your porch.

[Endrik]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

or better, just stop smoking

[83REDCHARVEL]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

How about buy a gun, move,leave a window open and stop smoking?

[hippietim]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

I say you go to a strip club. They sell cigarettes there.

[VanOsbourne]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

[ QUOTE ]
How about buy a gun, move,leave a window open and stop smoking?

[/ QUOTE ]

Dude... that is too fuckin funny [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[Newc]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

How about you keep smoking, but post a sign that says "These Premises Protected By A Lunatic With A Shotgun 3 Nights A Week - You Guess Which 3" [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Better yet, leave an empty with a couple of finger poppers in it laying out - open the box and their hand goes numb for an hour [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Or Krazy Glue an empty pack to the porch [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

If it's a soft pack, put some old razor blades in it so when they grab and squeeze... [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

Much better, get a pack of those cheapass generics and let them sit in the open for a week or two so they get good and stale, then stuff them in a regular pack, and leave them out.

Stuff some Lady Fingers in a few of them so they catch a good case of blast-face.

Repack some with oregano or parsley flakes and black pepper.

[horns666]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

Those dirty bastards....didn't they read the warning label on the smokes..

you should stop smoking cigs...they make you stinky! [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img]

smoke weed instead...at least you get something more out of it besides being stinky... [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img] [img]/images/graemlins/what.gif[/img]

I know what I would do...I'd set a trap....a decoy....put a pack of smokes out there (and a empty six pack) and sit and waite till the douche picks up the baite...and soon as you snag the little fucker...beat him like a baby seal or Rodney King...which ever you prefer!!! [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img]

[cynicalphish]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

Do what horns666 suggested. Newc had some damn funny/good ideas also. [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[ROCKPRO]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

+1

[toejam]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

[ QUOTE ]
If it's a soft pack, put some old razor blades in it so when they grab and squeeze... [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]


[/ QUOTE ]
I love that idea. Brilliant! [img]/images/graemlins/laugh.gif[/img]

[rps14a]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

i cant really just move right now, im 20, living wih the rents to save for studio equipment and getting a free ride to the university down the street.

this whole city is a crime ridden ghetto; i try and try to get my widowed grandmother to move from her neighborhood, where she built her house in an open field now getting more and more dangerous, but she wont.

cant smoke weed or own guns right now because of the trouble im in at the moment. and come on now guys, we all know that killing/beating a person from snatching your smokes would be a little hard to get out of, and if you've heard of 201 poplar its not a nice place to stay even if its just until you get aquitted.

the real problem around memphis is the bitchass cops. spending way too much time busting white kids with nickel bags who fund the "justice system" through unneccarily long trials and hefty fines while letting real criminals go free because they cant milk them for any money. in the last 6 months (actually less) 2 of my friends and I have been in 3 separate hit and run accidents (good thing for uninsured motorist or wed all be in debt) and nothing will ever happen of it. you know what happens when you go to shelby county court for no license or driving without insurance? go and get it, come back, dismissed without courtcosts. its fucked up; they are costing people thousands while im minding my own business, never messing with anyone, and i get screwed.

sorry bout the rant, i guess i do need to quit smoking though


chris

[jgcable]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

Glue the pack to your front porch. That will fix them.

[SeventhSon]

Re: someone just stole my cigarettes

After you take a nice dump/piss in the toilet, get a syringe, and suck the toilet water into it. Then carefully inject it into the open end of the smokes. Place back in pack and set out on porch.

I'd even consider sticking the butt end of the smokes in my anus. Although it's pushing the perversion meter, it would make my day knowing that I subjected the thief to a proxy salad toss.

Or if you're not that twisted, just rub the smokes against your ball sweat. Either way, I guarantee you will be smiling when you see your pack of smokes AWOL.