How about a Booty Call Agreement?
__________________________________________________ ____________________
This Pre-Booty Call Agreement (Hereinafter referred to as "the Agreement") is entered into on ______ Day of _______ 20__ (year), by ____________, between ___________ and ____________.
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THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over unless it's very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks prior to the evening's events.
3. No phone calls before 9pm - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only fucking allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is No, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called "the backup", unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good. Gifts given will not include any obligations on the part of the givee to the giver. Ever.
8. No baby talk. Dirty talk, however, is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons to former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with priviledges", "friends with benefits", etc. We are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is ok. Don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing. I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex. It's over, get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't give a shit.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be that you are my roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend.
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason being the less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no fucking: Carry your ass home!
19. Bring your own drink, I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use. I don't want anyone calling me looking for you.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost or alternate who's paying - you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any friends with you unless they're going to join the party.
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the Agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will immediately and automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the Booty Call List and deleted from phone memory and email lists. In other words, you will be blocked from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
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Participating Parties
Signature________________________ Date_____________________
Signature________________________ Date_____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
This Pre-Booty Call Agreement (Hereinafter referred to as "the Agreement") is entered into on ______ Day of _______ 20__ (year), by ____________, between ___________ and ____________.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:
1. No sleeping over unless it's very good and we need to repeat it in the morning.
2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks prior to the evening's events.
3. No phone calls before 9pm - we don't have shit to talk about.
4. None of that "lovemaking" shit - only fucking allowed.
5. No emotional discussions (i.e. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me?) The answer is No, so don't ask.
6. No plans made in advance - that is why you are called "the backup", unless you are from out-of-town, then it's only a one-time advanced arrangement.
7. All gifts accepted - money is always good. Gifts given will not include any obligations on the part of the givee to the giver. Ever.
8. No baby talk. Dirty talk, however, is encouraged.
9. No asking for comparisons to former lovers - it's really none of your damn business.
10. No calling each other "friends with priviledges", "friends with benefits", etc. We are not friends, just fuck buddies.
11. Calling out the wrong name during sex is ok. Don't be offended.
12. No extra clothing. I don't want you leaving anything behind when you leave.
13. No falling asleep right after sex. It's over, get your ass up, get dressed, and go the fuck home.
14. Don't be offended if I don't ask if you enjoyed it - I don't give a shit.
15. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.
16. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be that you are my roommate's boyfriend/girlfriend.
17. Doggie style is the preferred position - the reason being the less eye contact the better.
18. No condoms, no fucking: Carry your ass home!
19. Bring your own drink, I am not your liquor store.
20. No phone use. I don't want anyone calling me looking for you.
21. If going to a hotel room, we either split the cost or alternate who's paying - you pay this time, I pay next.
22. Don't bring any friends with you unless they're going to join the party.
The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the Agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of the Agreement, it will immediately and automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the Booty Call List and deleted from phone memory and email lists. In other words, you will be blocked from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules.
================================================== ===============
Participating Parties
Signature________________________ Date_____________________
Signature________________________ Date_____________________
__________________________________________________ ____________________
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